I’ve said it a billion times that I don’t generally love magical realism . . . unless it’s in the form of a romance story. I was 100% sure this would I’ve said it a billion times that I don’t generally love magical realism . . . unless it’s in the form of a romance story. I was 100% sure this would be for me. The idea of coming home from a girl’s night out to be greeted by a husband you didn’t have when you left the flat – only to be greeted by a NEW husband each time the previous one goes in to the attic to fetch something sounded absolutely delightful. I wasn’t sure if this would be finding Mr. Right by accident or maybe a “one who got away” do-over sort of love connection, but I was certain I was going to love it.
I mean NOTHING happened aside from Lauren sending literally hundreds of dudes back up the ladder. WTF? Where was the plot? The character development? The chemistry? The romance???? I have soooooo many can’t wait to reads that have queued up from the library in the past few days I spent wasting my time waiting for something to happen with this. So disappointing! ...more
But seriously though. This thing was making its rounds on The ‘Gram so of course I got big FOMO and requested it immediately from the library. At some point I have to learn there are lots of people who (a) are much kinder than I am, (b) obtain advanced copies and feel obligated to push them to the front and center on/near pub date, and/or (c) are not addicted to all things trash T.V. like myself. This is the story of three ladies who all get taken by “Ethan” – their online boyfriend – back in 2011. While I understand the intertubes and at-home sleuthing weren’t quite what they are today, that actually worked against me feeling for these women. Call me a victim blamer, but JFC at some point even if Ethan weren’t a total fabrication, it was REAL apparent . . . .
Releasing this book THIRTEEN YEARS after the fact certainly did it no favors either. Ethan was a little minnow in comparison to some of the Catfish stories that have been on my boob tube for almost the same amount of time....more
I know I didn’t read the blurb before taking the advanced reader opportunity here – if I like a cover and it gets presented to me generical
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I know I didn’t read the blurb before taking the advanced reader opportunity here – if I like a cover and it gets presented to me generically as “mystery” or “thriller” I’ll read the book. I also don’t know why my hopes were so high for this one, but they were. Maybe if I had lower expectations it would have worked better for me.
I thought the story here was about a young doctor whose body is found hanging in a remote area only accessible by water and the attempt to figure out if it was suicide or murder (and if murder, the whodunit). And it was about that, but it also timehopped right away to some teenage love story that I absolutely was not digging whatsoever. I’ll blame myself for not being aware of the “Crawdads” comparison (a book which I loved, by the way, but either because right time/right place is everything for me or because it was “fresh” enough that I got absorbed). This love story portion did not seem particularly fresh, nor did all the "homesteading" about a boy who returns to his small hometown after failing as a novelist who knows all about how to not only forage everything edible off the land as well as how to can veggies and make homemade jams and preserves, but somehow doesn't think about fishing until he has a real Homer Simpson "DOH!" moment and wishes he knew how to make a pancake. Srsly? Not to mention the real rush towards justice at the end with a nearly zero page trial thrown in complete with surprise exhibits and witnesses that 100% does not happen in real life. And don't even get me started the big “twist” when it came to the reveal. Chrissy Teigen eesh face for sure.
ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review....more
While West Heart Kill will easily go down as one of my favorite covers of the year and while I’m always down for some locked door murder action, unforWhile West Heart Kill will easily go down as one of my favorite covers of the year and while I’m always down for some locked door murder action, unfortunately this felt . . .
Sometimes a good gimmick works for me – sometimes it doesn’t. I knew going in this was going to be “fourth wall breaking” – I guess I just expected more of a Deadpool sort of delivery rather than the super mansplaining Ted Talk delivery provided within these pages. Not to mention the ending? Soooooo dumb (and obviously predictable the way the entire book was laid out).
ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. ...more
Man, it sucks to write that, but I’m nothing if not honest in my opinion. I’ve read offerings by Nick Cutter, Patrick Lestewka and Craig Da
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Man, it sucks to write that, but I’m nothing if not honest in my opinion. I’ve read offerings by Nick Cutter, Patrick Lestewka and Craig Davidson and none have been a mess like this. The story here is about a husband, wife and their young son who are moving into a new build in what is promised to be an up-and-coming subdivision. Immediately upon arrival they find they may have purchased a lemon, but hey no problem!
Okay, this had some potential. I mean as soon as you give me a father who has been put on some sort of administrative leave who moves out to the middle of nowhere vibes with the fam it calls to mind a certain other horror story with a real Father of the Year nominee . . . .
Throw in a little side of Monster House and it could have been #nomnomnomnomnom. But Cutter blows his load SUPER early and gives away what should have been a twisty twist at the end. Not to mention the narrative should have strictly been Trent’s up to that point for this to truly work because absolutely no time was spent trying to develop the wife or son characters. Cutter is still Cutter and doesn’t hold back on the gross-out moments whatsoever, but the storytelling itself is pretty thin. This either needed to be cut down to a super shorty short or sent back for a complete re-write and another hundred pages added to fix all the problems.
1.5 Stars and rounding up because I have been a fan in the past (just maybe don't do any more collabs)...more
Here’s another ancient ARC that’s been sitting around my NetGalley shelf for eternity. I picked this up despite the dreaded face cover (and let me telHere’s another ancient ARC that’s been sitting around my NetGalley shelf for eternity. I picked this up despite the dreaded face cover (and let me tell you the flowers/fruits/veggies covering the face cover is one of my absolute most hated face covers, but it actually makes sense here so kudos to you, cover artist) because I REALLY enjoyed Good Rich People by this author. But this one???? Woof.
So first, the entire premise of some woman who randomly listens to a podcaster and then not only assumes she has gone missing/has been murdered when said podcast stops casting lets you know right away the leading lady is . . . .
But I can get on board with a little Velma action sometimes, suspend my disbelief and lean into the crazy. The main problem with this is that nothing happened until the end. This could have been a pretty decent short story, but even at less than 300 pages it just drug on and on with nothing happening but repetition that the ranch was not the place Sera wanted to be.
1.5 Stars but rounded up because there was potential here and I appreciate second person narratives when they are done well. ...more
I was all prepared to say I have such a better result with the Read With Jenna selections than I do with America’s Darling, Reese . . . and
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I was all prepared to say I have such a better result with the Read With Jenna selections than I do with America’s Darling, Reese . . . and then this one came along.
Chain Gang All-Stars tackles the penal system the same way S.A. Cosby tackled homophobia in Razorblade Tears . . . with a lot of gore and a heavy-handed Ted Talk sort of delivery. Per usual, the people who need a lesson on how unjust the American justice system can be will 100% be the people who would never even consider reading this. For me dystopia stories just aren’t really my jam to begin with and since I’m an old lady this had a been there/done that vibe a la the afore-giffed Mad Max, Gladiator, The Running Man, The Hunger Games, etc., etc., etc. but this one was somehow extremely boring.
Oh, and I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE bajillions of footnotes. (Because I am stupid and a wrongreader. There, save your breath folks. I trolled myself so you don’t have to.) ...more
I don’t know how this book came to be on my TBR (because you KNOW it wasn’t from that cover!). All I know is I was still eleven trillion on the wait lI don’t know how this book came to be on my TBR (because you KNOW it wasn’t from that cover!). All I know is I was still eleven trillion on the wait list for a Kindle copy so I snagged it off the first come/first served shelf last Thursday at the library on my way home from work. I didn’t remember what it was supposed to be about so I took a quick looky-look at the synopsis and saw the potential for a culty church and your girl was down to clown. It also was clearly marked as a “novel of suspense” to which I now have to say . . .
Unfortunately all I can say about this one now that I’m finished is it was nothing but wasted potential. It’s fine if you’re an author who doesn’t want to write dark stuff . . . but you really need to just stay out of the lane of stories that make the reader anticipate really dark stuff. ...more
I don’t care if the neighborhood story is of the Hallmark Romance variety or a Lifetime Stabby Stabs for Women option. I’m in. I don’t even care if it’s a plot that’s been done a trillion times before as the case was here. I still want to read it.
The Block Party starts with . . . a block party (thank you, Captain Obvious) that literally ended with a bang and then we timehop back to the previous year to find out exactly what went down and who was going to end up in a body bag. Like most of these, Big Little Lies is the most obvious comparison and like most of these, this one was going to pale in comparison. Because it was soooooooo boring! You’d think with drunks and druggies and stalkers and affairs this would have been a page turner, but that was most certainly not the case. And speaking of drunks? This was me by the 18,000th time Alex talked about how much she liked swilling wine . . .
The worst part of the entire experience? I literally made a note in my Kindle guessing what the superbadawful was that broke the camel’s back . . . . but I had put this one aside so many times to numb my brain with garbage television instead of reading by the time I got to the end I didn’t even care enough to remember what the characters names were so I somehow still surprised myself.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley! ...more
I just took a second to look at the overall Goodreads’ rating along with my friends’ individual Star reactions to this one and it turns out I’m the naI just took a second to look at the overall Goodreads’ rating along with my friends’ individual Star reactions to this one and it turns out I’m the naysayer of the bunch. You know what that means, right????
Ha! Just kidding. Everyone is aware that I’m usually the wrongreader. The main reason I didn’t vibe with this one was not because it was farfetched – I’m down for some fun with my thrillers – it was a combination of this supposed grifter type of conwoman being so easy to fool and a supposed “zany” thriller that really did not tickle my funny bone after the first couple of chapters.
I’m over 100 reviews behind for the year, so that’s all I have to say. Everyone else really liked it, so it was probably just wrong place/wrong time for me. ...more
I mean we’re talking the holy grail of house covers right there, kids. Unfortunately the book itself was mostly a flop for me. The main problem was that this was marketed as a whodunit, but you don’t even get a dead granny until 30%. And granny didn’t even need to be murdered for this story. This one is all about the various skeletons that end up falling out of the cupboards when a group of longtime friends get together for a girls’ trip. Granny provided the chateau and was the catalyst behind certain skeletons, but again, she could have been dead to begin with and the ladies could have been coming together either for her funeral or reading of the will without any of the stabby even occurring. But it is what it is. Take this to the pool for some mindless summertime fun if nothing else. (Just be forewarned that this author comes off as a real Francophile who likes to toss in an obnoxious amount of super basic French words to her narration.)...more
This one had me at the cartoony cover and a blip stating it was about a family of grifters. Unfortunately, “grifter” was more like a hot bu
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This one had me at the cartoony cover and a blip stating it was about a family of grifters. Unfortunately, “grifter” was more like a hot button word thrown around to attract readers while no actual grifting was to ever take place between the pages.
Instead we get basically zero backstory regarding the Moorewood legacy, only that Jillian has returned to the mansion where all these grown-ass people live together like some weird commune (via helicopter, because ridiculous) after a stint in the federal pen when she went down for the entire family’s sins. There’s a bevy of characters – none of which are developed so good luck getting to know much about any of them that’s not directly at surface level (a/k/a Jay = bad uncle and also philander, Emma = good sister who somehow is now a real computer wiz, Astrid and Anika = twin cousins and who even cares since there’s no story). There’s also a zero chemistry, let’s bang the newly hired bodyguard that takes center stage to muddy the waters even more on an already awkward plot. ...more
Let me unload one piece of baggage before I even begin here. My copy of You Shouldn’t Have Come Here DID NOT include the Colleen Hoover cover blurb. ILet me unload one piece of baggage before I even begin here. My copy of You Shouldn’t Have Come Here DID NOT include the Colleen Hoover cover blurb. If it had, I would hope that I would have been smart enough to avoid this like the plague due the incessant seven year trolling I’ve receive from CoHo’s rabid fanbase. Buuuuuut, since The Perfect Marriage remains on my TBR, there’s a decent chance I still would have read it. Although I didn’t know about the new and improved cover at all, I was immediately confronted with a paragraph on the very first page. And then one by Jennifer Hillier, and Kaira Rouda, and John Marrs and Alex Finlay????? Now that I’m finished I have one question to ask . . . .
For real, though. I mean was this a dare to see how quickly this thing could go viral on TikTok? Are these authors a caliber of likeswappers Goodreads and The ‘Gram have never before seen? Did they all sell their souls????
I picked this up to give Jeneva Rose a second chance after reading One of Us Is Dead - a book that wasn’t terrible for me, just not as over-the-top as it could/should have been when it came to the delivery. I had not known Airbnb “Rooms” was now a thing since I refuse to watch television with commercials, but lemme just say if you’re thinking about staying with a random stranger maybe read this book because obviously this would be a killer’s wet dream. I was hoping for a popcorn thriller and suspension of disbelief was not going to be a problem for me when it came to the story of Grace who rents a room on a ranch in Wyoming from Calvin for ten days. I figured at least one person would wind up dead and I was down for the stabbies. But this was so booooooooooooring. Good lord amighty what a snoozefest.
The stuff that did finally happen was what most people would think was going to happen all along . . . other than the “twist” at the end which was one of those last-pagers that’s just stupid and thrown in as an attempt to shock the reader, but it was all too little too late.
Oh, and to authors who do things like this???
“Finally, a thriller. This one promised a twisty ending I wouldn’t see coming. It seemed every thriller promised that these days, but few actually delivered.”
“When she appeared in the kitchen, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. Cliché, I know. But it’s true.”
It doesn’t make you seem clever to be “in on the joke” – it’s simply a confirmation that you don’t write well enough to come up with something other than the worn out lines every other pisspoor Wattpader comes up with.
Maybe the most obvious "twist" in the history of the universe. I can't believe everyone didn't know what was going on immediately and they were just able to enjoy it despite the fact. For me? I've failed with both this one and Such Sharp Teeth. I think Cackle might actually be more my speed. I might give it a go next Halloween season.
ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review....more
What in the Wattpad did I just read? I was really looking forward to this, but oh my word talk about some seriously undeveloped characters,
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What in the Wattpad did I just read? I was really looking forward to this, but oh my word talk about some seriously undeveloped characters, plot, and everything else. This literally read like a teenager’s fanfiction. Do yourself a favor and just re-read Daisy Jones or watch the show.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. ...more
I snatched an early copy of this as soon as I saw it, but never wrote a review because I don’t like when I don’t like my favorite authors. So before II snatched an early copy of this as soon as I saw it, but never wrote a review because I don’t like when I don’t like my favorite authors. So before I write the absolute very least about this book, let me tell you that I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Ivy Pochoda. Visitation Street, Wonder Valley and These Women are all books that blew me away. I love how multifaceted Pochoda’s characters are and especially love that the location is so well-developed that it too becomes a character in her stories.
The fact that those things were missing from me here was probably why I failed to connect to Sing Her Down. After publication I saw that this was compared to No Country for Old Men to which I say . . .
I mean, I guess I can see it as a bare bones comparison, but again the depth was really lacking for me. This game of chase takes place during Covid (Covid being the catalyst behind Florida and Dios being sprung from the pokey) and most likely it was another anticipated release that fell short due to it being written in that period of the unknown. It seems like having all the time in the world to write would have had these brilliant minds creating the best of the best, but we (or at least I) tend to forget authors were experiencing all the same day-to-day stresses (my kingdom back then for some toilet paper) as the rest of us normies so their work product may have suffered the consequences.
I still will 100% be first in line again for whatever Ivy Pochoda comes up with next.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. ...more
Allow me a moment to age myself. When I was a kid, not only did I Walk Like an Egyptian and warble my tiny emo lungs out to “Close your eyes, give me Allow me a moment to age myself. When I was a kid, not only did I Walk Like an Egyptian and warble my tiny emo lungs out to “Close your eyes, give me your hand – can you feel my heart beating????” but I also WORE. THE. SHIT. OUT. Of the VHS tape of the instant classic (LOL) The Allnighter starring none other than . . . .
When I saw she was releasing a novel I was all over it . . . and I was lucky enough to score an early copy. And I give massive props to a 63 year old achieving her dream of getting a book published. But the story just was not great.
Jane is a 33-year old, one-hit-wonder (on a cover song, not even an original) who has somehow managed to never have to get a real job in the decade since her 15 minutes of fame were over. Instead she does things like corporate parties or, as is the jumping off point here, a bachelor party in Vegas. Recently broken up from her famous boyfriend (and watching his life with his new love unfold via social media), Jane’s BFF/manager Pippa offers up her guest room and a getaway to London. On the flight, Jane meets Tom – who then ghosts her for two weeks before making contact, they go out on one date and then they are in instalove and she moves in with him . . . .
Yeah, this was not it. Not only is instalove not my jam, but Jane having no sense of responsibility at over 30 and being a shit friend who immediately ditched her ride or die for some D made it even worse. Not to mention the entire storyline about “Jonesy” which hinted at a real #metoo experience (which could have explained some of Jane’s behaviors) only to amount to nothing and the bizarre Jane Eyre shoutouts made this one a real slog.
ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. ...more
The premise here is a simple one: Liz accidentally sees a text on her husband Arno’s phone and spirals out of control for the entire book. That’s it. The premise here is a simple one: Liz accidentally sees a text on her husband Arno’s phone and spirals out of control for the entire book. That’s it. As the quote below states . . . .
“Nothing crazy, just a text thanking Arno for all his help on some major project and then a stupid kissy-face emoji. From someone named ‘Viv’ who I’ve never met before.” Tracy’s eyebrows lift even higher. “What else?” “Huh?” “I mean, what else?” “That’s it. Nothing else. The text is what made me feel suspicious.” “That’s it?” “Er, yeah.” “No suspicious phone calls late at night? Maybe from an unfamiliar name that sounds fake, or just an initial, like ‘F’?” “No.” “No weird receipts for lingerie that he never gives you, or designer chocolates?” “Nope.” “No unexplained work trips to Miami that get extended because of ‘bad weather’?” “No.” “No burner phones?”
Of course she never bothered asking and OF COURSE he’s probably cheating and OF COURSE Liz has not only a generalized anxiety disorder but is also a pretty solid drunk once the baby goes to bed. But the biggest problem? This could have been some poolside fun in the sun if it had been approached as a dark comedy. Around the 40% mark Liz goes in for a total makeover and I’m telling you I laughed out loud. And then I realized . . . .
I picked up Tinfoil Butterfly when I saw it on The ‘Gram and thought it had been posted by one of my Goodreads’ friends. Turns out I was wrong (go figI picked up Tinfoil Butterfly when I saw it on The ‘Gram and thought it had been posted by one of my Goodreads’ friends. Turns out I was wrong (go figure) and I should have saved myself the library checkout because this just wasn’t for me.
The premise was great – girl hitchhiking through the Badlands winds up with the wrong stranger. This could have went anywhere from . . . .
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(Have y’all seen Freeway? Highly underrated film.)
And I would have been totally satisfied. In fact, at some point a Bigfoot reference was made and I thought “hell, I liked Devolution so a Sasquatch story would maybe be A-okay as well. But that was not the case. This was a “horror” in the same sort of way I’m Thinking of Ending Things was – a/k/a I’m too dumb to appreciate it. ...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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