There’s only about a billion and a half reviews out there that are far superior to anything I could possibly barf out, so I’m going to keep this simplThere’s only about a billion and a half reviews out there that are far superior to anything I could possibly barf out, so I’m going to keep this simple. This series pops up occasionally and I always manage to avoid it – mainly because although I read all the time, I generally do not enjoy puppysquishers and try to leave them at an arm’s length. The exception was made this go around due to the fact that it was a four day weekend and I was out of excuses.
In case you don’t know what this is about – it’s about the drug cartel. It starts back in the ‘70s with Mary Jane, takes us through Nancy Reagan “winning” the war on drugs and continues to morph and reinvent itself all the way through the late ‘90s via Mexico, Colombia, California, the East Coast – you name it. There’s about eleventy-twelve characters that you get introduced to from the DEA to the mob to priests and whores to the cartel itself and at some point they all become intertwined. It is an undertaking of epic proportions and you can tell how much research went into creating it on nearly every page.
There’s only a couple things I’m even going to say since I’m so late to this party. First, if you are in need of a sensitivity reader or a trigger warning this is NOT the book for you. Me, on the other hand???? I looked a little something like this upon meeting the Barrera brothers . . . . .
And second, now that I’ve actually read this I’m going to double-down on my statement last year of HOW IN THE FUCK DO PEOPLE GIVE THIS A PASS BUT GOT ALL ASSHURT ABOUT AMERICAN DIRT???? Oh yeah, because they didn’t really care about the issue at hand, they just wanted to whine that they weren’t getting a big enough payday. I do wonder, though, how Winslow has not been offed. I mean homeboy ain’t afraid to drop any names – even big dogs in the government or giant corporations like Monsanto.
Anyway, if you’re intimidated by the vast amount of pages in this and the other two books in the series, know that I feel your pain. Also know that it appears FX is working on turning the whole shebang into a weekly television program which my husband cannot wait to premier. In the interim we rewatched a little Reservoir Dogs to get our blood, gore and F word content this week . . . .
The story here is about Carmen and Wayne who find themselves in a wrong place/wrong time situation when hitman “the Blackbird” and small-time hood Richie (if you enjoyed Glenn in Out of Sight you'll love Richie since they are pretty much the same character) show up at Carmen’s office and mistake Wayne for a local real estate tycoon they’re hoping to shake down. What follows is a lot of brawling and shoot ‘em ups along with a brief stint in the Witness Protection Program and a relocation to Cape Girardeau Missouri (hence the Show Me State connection for my challenge).
So Elmore Leonard is just like THE GUY for me. If there is a genre called Chick Lit, then he is one of the masters of “Dick Lit.” He gives you action, he gives you humor, and in this one he even gives you a bumbling Barney Fife/Harvey Weinstein combo for the local sheriff. I probably own 20 of his books and I pick up every single one I see at the thrift store or in a bargain bin. He’s just an automatic good time . . . .
The Old Man isn’t my typical genre, but thanks to Archer returning to FX for another season I caught a commercial for the television series and, as you may have guessed, opted for the print version rather than pretending I could sit week after week watching an hour long program that didn’t involve heavily make-upped, big-haired housewives screeching at each other and flipping tables.
The premise here is that "Dan Chase" has lived a quiet life in Vermont for the past 35 years. Before that, however, he was a member of the special forces assigned the task of turning over millions of government dollars to some rebel forces. When it comes to his attention the money isn't making into the hands it was supposed to and instead has been kept by the middleman in the transaction, Chase pulls a double cross and steals it back. Unfortunately, the powers that be in the states weren't officially on board with that plan, making him a marked man and now . . . .
Like I said, I can’t remember the last time I picked up one of these cat and mouse/manhunt/government conspiracy/whatever you want to call this type of book. I just figured if Jeff Bridges signed on, there’s a decent chance I would enjoy it. And I was right. This took about 12 seconds to read, the action was good, the story easy to follow, the dialogue solid with a delightful tinge of humor to it (the “Old Man” and the female lead had a great banter that reminded me of Robert B. Parker’s Spencer - and it really made me wish Burt Reynolds were still around to provide the narration on the audio version of this one).
And with a best pal who always has my back, I’m sure to be at the front of the line when it comes to requesting an early copy. As the blurb states, Hard Cash Valley once again takes readers back to Bull Mountain, but this time the focus isn’t on the Burroughs clan. This go around deals with a fella named Dane Kirby, a part-time employee of the GBI who gets called in to an investigation down in . . . .
Featuring a dead small-time criminal who bit off more than he could chew and (more importantly) a “beat the clock” sort of search for the dead dude’s missing little brother who is being tracked by some seriously bad hombres due to his uhhhhhhhhhhh special abilities . . . . .
Not much more can be said without spoiling all the fun, but let’s just say this kid wasn’t counting cards, the local Farm (as well as the people who run it) ain’t exactly what those of us in flyover country are familiar with, there’s a whole bunch of characters who get introduced and all of them have more to offer the story than first impressions would offer. My notes say “every character is amazing aside from poor depressed Dane.” Not that Dane didn’t have stuff to offer – it’s just not stuff like this . . . .
“Tater – Boner – Rooster – everyone up here sounds like they were named after cartoons. Is there a Tweety Bird out here, too?”
Now Ned looked offended. “Watch your mouth, Velasquez. Tweety is good people. No need to trash talk good folk.”
So as I said above, aside from Debbie Dane Downer and an ending that got just a weeeeeee bit sappy, this was everything I could have hoped for. The fact that I read it in one sitting and upon finishing went around my house declaring things like . . . .
The Rabbit Factory got added to my TBR due to David Joy’s recommendation. I don’t know if you’ve had the privilege of experiencing Mr. Joy’s stuff, but if you like it dark and gritty his books top the charts. I’m a charter member in the Church of Joy and after reading not only his own works, but now also his recommendations, I know if he’s passing out the Kool-Aid my response will definitely be . . . .
To say The Rabbit Factory is a one-of-a-kind type of story is an understatement. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with something to compare it to and the closest thing I can think of is Pulp Fiction, but in the most generic manner possible. There’s 100 chapters and about eleventy-three characters that you follow - some who know some others, some who will interact with some others, some who are just thrown in there to keep you guessing maybe because they don’t have anything to do with the others. None of them are real pillars of society – and some are downright criminals and lowlifes, but when you mix them all together into a story without either a real beginning or ending, somehow it’s magic.
This one gets all the Stars and I’d give it a bonus 5 if I could for Tom Stechschulte’s narration. Simply brilliant. Dick lit at its finest and proof that cyberstalking pays off! Now someone approve me over at NetGalley for David Joy’s new book before I go apeshit on yo ass . . . .
Joe Lansdale was barely a blip on my radar until a few months ago when it seemed errrrryone started reading his stuff. Since I am an idiot, I had no idea WTF Hap and Leonard even was or that it was a soon-to-be television program. I just knew that Real Dan and Kemper were reading the crap out of these stories and everybody else seemed to be reading Lansdale too. Then during one of our bitch sessions highly intellectual conversations, Shelby reminded me the show had premiered. It sounded like something my husband would TOTALLY dig so I cued it up for him and planned to get back to my regularly scheduled porno Pulitzer winner. But then Omar appeared on my screen and my hubs was like “are you seriously going to watch T.V. and not read right now??!?!?!?!” and I was like . . .
Alright, so there’s the backstory of why I’m so late to this party. My apologies for the couple minutes of your life you just wasted and will never get back. Now let’s get on with the show.
Hap and Leonard are just a couple of good ol’ boys – never meaning no harm. They’ve been makin’ their way the only way they know how, but then Leonard’s ex-wife shows up with her magic poonany and reveals a scheme that’s just a little bit more than the law will allow . . .
“One hundred thousand dollars for each of us.”
“Shit. What we got to do, shoot someone?”
“Nope. We have to swim for it.”
If the paraphrased lyrics above don’t ring a bell or if you are a millennial, there’s a good chance Hap & Leonard probably aren’t the guys you want to spend time with. However, if you’re not easily offended by foul language or some pretty gnarly asskicking and want to read the best dialogue of your life - Lansdale will provide. I may have shown up way more than fashionably late for this party, but I’m most definitely here to stay . . . .
3.5 Stars rounded up because I need some wiggle room as I continue the series and also because the final action sequence went on just a wee bit too long for my liking. I blame the waning of my attention during that part on my lack of penis. Happy belated International Women’s Day ; ) ...more
tend to happen quite frequently and some reviews just flat out fall through the cracks of your pop-culture-infused brain. Thus was the case with Pronto. I’m always fighting the losing battle of correcting some of my literary shortcomings and reading authors who I know I want to read and should be reading, but somehow still haven’t (and yet somehow I always find time to read this year’s Twilight or 50 Shades - God, I suck). This Spring it was Elmore Leonard’s turn. I started with a guaranteed “like” in the form of Run Punch and then it came to my attention that there was a little book called Pronto at the library. Said book just happened to be inspiration for one of my husband’s favorite television shows, which he claimed was worthy of . . .
Me, being the extremely clever lady I am, decided to give the book a gander, then surprise my husband with my vast knowledge of all things Raylan Givens and perhaps even enjoy the final season of Justified with him. And that would have been a great idea . . . if I had liked Pronto a whole lot more.
The premise, although perhaps a bit stale and overused, was entertaining enough. Raylan is a U.S. Marshal who has been assigned to retrieve a runaway bookie before he gets whacked. You know, typical cat and mouse type of chaser with a broad thrown in for good measure in order to spice things up with the MC. Leonard even decided to throw in an Italian background to class things up a bit. My problem? From what I’ve seen from the Justified commercials, Raylan is all sorts of awesome . . .
But in book form, he was a total a bit of an idiot. Luckily Leonard used a wide cast of characters that helped save the day and the writing was above-par, but all-in-all I was still left with a “meh” reaction to the book as a whole.
Oh and in case you’re wondering – I never bothered watching any of the television show with my husband – and he was A-Okaaaaaay with that idea. There’s a reason we’ve stayed married for a billion and a half years – I don’t shit on his parade when he’s watching shows like Sons of Anarchy or Justified or The League (but I totally call them his “stories” like he’s an old lady watching her soap operas to get a rise out of him) and he doesn’t shit on mine when I’m watching Bob’s Burgers and 30 Rock re-runs.
And now I’m only FIFTEEN reviews behind. Yay me! I deserve an internet break ; ) ...more
For the past 17 years I’ve been singing the praises of Tarantino’s film – only to find out Elmore Leonard was actually the mastermind behind this product. (In defense of my undying Tarantino love – casting Pam Grier as “Jackie Brown” rather than some rando white broad as “Jackie Burke” was genius). A Facebook discussion regarding “manly authors who write manly books” was the driving force behind me letting the moths out of my wallet and dropping $15.00 (FIFTEEN MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS?????? HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!!!!) on Rum Punch this weekend. When I discovered one of my favorite films was actually a book by an author I should have been reading a long time ago (due to my Carl Hiassen fangirl status), I had to come off the cash and read it immediately.
What did I find? The movie “Jackie Brown” literally played in my head while reading this book. Leonard’s work is so brilliant that Tarantino didn’t even have to change the dialogue. I love an author who can toss a billion main characters into one big pot and produce something delicious – and that is what happens with Rum Punch.
If you’re one of the few who have never seen “Jackie Brown” but are looking for an action-packed tale of double-crossing with a complex plot that, at times, might leave you asking
Joey Perrone would have never guessed her husband would toss her overboard durinFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
Joey Perrone would have never guessed her husband would toss her overboard during their anniversary cruise. Mick Stranahan would have never guessed he’d pull a naked woman off a floating bale of marijuana while fishing. After their bizarre chance encounter, Joey and Mick team up to find out why Joey’s philandering husband would choose to kill her rather than ask for a divorce and to get some payback in the process.
Like all of Hiassen’s books, Skinny Dip takes place in the Sunshine State
and is filled with an abundance of bizarre characters and multiple plotlines.
I’ve seen a lot of reviewers say that Hiassen is obviously a woman hater. Since I haven’t seen him broadcast any disgusting opinions in interviews (*cough* Orson Scott Card *cough*), I have no idea if that is true. I do know that his female characters tend to be one-dimensional, but normally I don’t really give a poo. Hiassen is a man’s man and writes books that dudes would want to read. Unfortunately in Skinny Dip one of the leads is a woman. A woman who should have been a lot more awesome than she was. Luckily, he casts his books with eleventy billion other characters to pick up the slack. While not even remotely as brilliant as Bad Monkey, Skinny Dip was still a fun read. ...more
Searching for a book with a REAL cast of characters? Well, look no further friends ‘cause this one has them all – an ex-policeman
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4.5 Stars
Searching for a book with a REAL cast of characters? Well, look no further friends ‘cause this one has them all – an ex-policeman turned roach-patrol food inspector, a beauty of a medical examiner, a timid sheriff, an evil stepmother, her new boyfriend and a greedy stepdaughter to complete the trio, a “Mary Kay Letourneau” and her (not-so) young boy-toy, a beekeeper, a voodoo priestess, unsavory restaurateurs, grave robbers, part of a dead body and, dare I omit, one bad monkey.
The story begins when a routine boating accident churns up nothing but the victim’s arm. Andrew Yancy – Key West Detective demoted to food inspector – is ordered by the local sheriff to babysit the arm in order to avoid unwanted publicity on the department. However, when Yancy starts sniffing around, he begins to believe this accidental death really stinks – and the smell only BEGINS with the shark bait he’s been hiding in his freezer.
Of all the books in all the gin joints in all the world that have become a series – PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE let this be one. I haven’t had so much fun with a murder mystery in FOREVER. After reading all of the “hot” new psychological thrillers that have been inundating the bookshelves, “Bad Monkey” was a refreshing change of pace. So quick, so hilarious, so many characters! And I did it all from the comfort of my Hoveround Scooter ; )
“One week in 1942, the first week of the year, the week he met my grandmother, made his best friend, and killed two Germans.”
If cellmates Lev and Kolya can supply a dozen eggs in time for the Colonel’s wife to bake a cake for their daughter’s wedding they can save their hides. Along the way they will come across cannibals, a rooster rather than a hen, Germans, an epic chess game and one highly anticipated bowel movement.
I have owned this book forever. Many thanks to Emily for suggesting I make it one of my selections for the Winter Reading Challenge. I had no idea what I was missing out on. For a slim novel this one surely packs a punch. Recommended.
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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