I think most people are familiar with the story of the Donner party, but for those who aren’t, it’s a tale from back in the olde days of yore when a bI think most people are familiar with the story of the Donner party, but for those who aren’t, it’s a tale from back in the olde days of yore when a bunch of people did something like this . . . .
In the hopes of obtaining some free land and a chance at a better life and somewhere along the way they ran in to bad weather which made some people go a little . . . .
And since this book was one of the library’s recommendations I finally decided to get off the pot.
Despite running the gamut of ratings amongst my friends, I actually kind of dug this one. I enjoyed the backstories of the various wagon train members and I’m always down for some potential zombie action. Even if it’s of the actual brain eating variety and not just my best pal Ed . . . .
Gather ‘round little weirdos, because boy oh boy do I have a book recommendation for youFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Gather ‘round little weirdos, because boy oh boy do I have a book recommendation for you! In a season of meh 2 and 3 Star selections, Imma take you on the (sorta) wayback machine to a book I read and failed to review back on my berfday. Allow me to introduce you to a new favorite antihero – Timothy . . . .
Yes please. And not only does Timothy have a decidedly different palate, he also has an eidetic memory on a whole ‘notha level which makes him able to see things that are out of place. This bizarre “superpower” (for lack of a better term) has made Timothy allies with a most unlikely group – the FBI. Brought in as a last resort on their most time sensitive and impossible-to-solve cases, Timothy only requires one thing as payment . . . .
You see, he satisfies his cravings (with the aforementioned inside assistance) via Death Row inmates. They get executed – Timothy gets dinner. Win win situation right there.
And the backstory that explains what made Timothy the Timothy he is today???? Well, that is one that will have all you freaks going . . . .
This first selection in the series focuses on a missing child, an impending deadline for when the ransom is due and Timothy being partnered up with a blast from his past. Not only was this sucker different than anything else, it was also a whipsmart crime novel with a whodunit reveal that had me like . . . .
I read this like two months ago, but I am SUCKING at posting anything lately so I’m just Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
I read this like two months ago, but I am SUCKING at posting anything lately so I’m just now getting around to it. Let’s start with the overall GR rating, shall we?
Yeesh. That’s low. Of course that means I loved it. #wrongreader4eva
The story here is a fairly simple one. After being married to Jacob for ages, Lizzie finally had enough one day and offed him. Left with the conundrum of how to dispose of the body in a way that would leave no evidence, Lizzie decided to do the most sensible thing . . . .
The remainder of the book is about Lizzie’s (ever-so-graphic) consumption of Jacob with a side order of . . . .
When I realized that my husband was dead, I also realized I had a chance to live.
Obviously this is not a book for everyone and obviously I kind of love fiction that is a little dark or taboo, which is 100% why I downloaded this from the library as soon as I heard of it. What I didn’t expect was to be presented with a story that was surprisingly an über macabre version of . . . .
This last month, I have had something to do, and I have had love. I am very lucky. It has been perfect.
Full Disclosure: I totally dry-heaved at the eating of the foot. Not only because feet are disgusting when they are attached to living human beings, but because absolutely no detail was spared when it came to the prep work, cooking or ingestion. Consider yourself warned – this is not for the weak stomached so have your barfbags handy....more
When this popped up on my feed awhile back I immediately went to the library to see if itFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
When this popped up on my feed awhile back I immediately went to the library to see if it was available on audio – while simultaneously wondering how I had missed reading it back in my Zombies4Eva phase. Well, turns out I had read it but since I am a moron I had completely forgotten all about it. So unlike me, right? It also turns out back in the day I was even worse at reviewing than I am now because I straight up compared this to Zombieland. I’m surprised a hoard of townsfolk and their pitchforks didn’t show up on my front yard for that one! I guess it’s because they were both funny approaches to the undead? Or I used to smoke crack and have forgotten all about that too . . . .
Whatever the case, Shady’s back – back again – this time listening to a story I already read years ago. So what is the story, you ask? Sarah and Dave show up for their weekly marital counseling only to discover the “perfect” couple that has the appointment immediately before theirs nom-nomming on the good doctor. The two decide to call it a day and head home to . . . .
Plans change, however, when their neighbor tries to eat them. It’s then they realize that they’re going to have to go from passive aggressive to aggressive aggressive . . . .
This ended up being 3 Star fun the second time around. My only complaint? I HATED the narrator and it turns out she reads a shitton of audiobooks so now I’m sad for eternity. ...more
No one is more familiar with how sharks behave around a group of seals than Naomi Cardiff. You see, awhile back Ms. Naomi thought it would be a great idea to jump into an ocean full of seals in order to get some one-of-a-kind nature photographs. What she ended up with instead????
Fastforward to the present and a new feeding frenzy in the waters of Cape Cod. This time Naomi has been hired to report on a team of scientists who have developed a signal which will lead the seals – quickly followed by the sharks, natch – away from the touristy areas and over to a remote island instead. The only problems? They will have to play beat the clock with a Nor Easter and something wonky is going on with the sharks’ behavior ever since they started sending out the signal . . . . . .
I try to pick up a sharky book annually in order to keep with the theme. Imagine my delight when an advanced copy of this one was available at just the right time! I try and keep my expectations low and only hope for a teensie bit of plot along with lots of nomming by the sharks on these selections and this one delivered in spades. I was surprised by how much story this included and that we actually got to know the characters before they became shark bait. In fact, the only complaint I have is that there were too many characters. More and more people kept getting added to the mix which was obviously done in order to make a bigger body count. Really, though? I don’t care if 5 people or 25 people get killed as long as it’s good and bloody : )
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
It's here it's here it's finally here. The best week of the entire year!!!!!
In 1980 all David and Patrick can think of is how cool it’s going to be spending the summFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
In 1980 all David and Patrick can think of is how cool it’s going to be spending the summer watching the Amazing Sea Serpents they just ordered out of the back of a Wonder Woman comic. Unfortunately things don’t end up being quite as impressive as they hoped . . . .
When the tank starts to reek, the boys know they have to say buh bye to their new pets pronto . . . .
“So long, Amazing Sea Serpents. It was smelly and nasty while it lasted.”
Lucky for us, their loss is our gain and we readers get to experience a creature feature that, if you are of a certain age such as myself (*cough dinosaur cough*), might bring back some fond childhood memories . . . .
I discovered Hunter Shea thanks to my buddy Dan lending me a copy of They Rise. When I saw Char reading this title I knew I would be jumping on the bandwagon and was beyond thrilled when I saw advanced copies were available for my instant gratification. Even my librarian has taken a break from ordering all the porn I request and has a Hunter Shea selection available. I’ll definitely be checking out more of his stuff in the future.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley! ...more
“Chimaera. According to Webster’s, the word is based on a creature of mythology, an amalgam of different species in one terrifying beast. Or, in the current vernacular, one ugly fucker.”
The story here is about a surfer-dude-looking, wise-cracking, functioning alcoholic/marine biologist named Whit who ends up partnered with his climatologist ex-wife Suzanne when a methane-filled fissure under the ocean gives way, releasing a shitton of prehistoric mammoth-sized chimaera from its depths. It’s up to the two to (1) survive and (2) come up with a way to send these killers back to the hell from whence they came.
The couple of my friends who have read They Rise both gave it a 3 Star rating. To them I ask . . . .
Just kidding. I’m giving it all 5 because it ended up being EXACTLY what I hoped it would be. Even though some soon-to-be-chum character dared to say . . . .
“This is not a B-movie, Suzanne.”
That dumbshit was 100% wrong. This was ABSOLUTELY a B-movie and that’s why I loved it. They Rise had everything you could ever want in a cheesy horror flick book:
1. Monsters from the deep
2. Sexy leading characters with a love/hate history
3. Awesome one-liner type of humor such as:
“ “If we survive this, I’m calling you Dr. Jones from now on.” “But I’m not afraid of snakes.”
4. High body count with plenty of guts and gore as well as some decent shock and awe like in . . . .
The only thing that could have made things better would have been if someone told me I could eat a unicorn fart. And then I discovered I could eat a unicorn fart!!!!!!
This sumbitch was an absolute delight and made my day exponentially more enjoyable. Endless thanks to Dan for using his lending feature in order to put this gem in my reading repertoire . . . . .
“I don’t know how you’re planning to save the world from ten thousand years of human dFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“I don’t know how you’re planning to save the world from ten thousand years of human decline, but good luck.”
THIS is why I don’t read past the first book in a series. I should not make exceptions. Ever. Why can’t I learn this? I must be only a “Nearly” rather than completely human. The only excuse I can make for myself is that I adored everything about Warm Bodies and I figured since so much time had passed between the first and second book surely there was a reason for writing it. Now that I see a THIRD friggin’ story is in the works I’m pretty sure I can confirm the reason was . . . . a moneygrab. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but when you are an author who kind of makes the magic happen with a teenage zombie romance/modernized Romeo and Juliette hybrid you are really taking a chance at lightning striking twice. And boy it sure didn’t – for me at least.
I also didn’t realize that this little nugget I saw on the Faceplace one day . . . . .
[image]
(Many thanks to my girl Kristin for pointing out this was a joke/marketing tactic because it seemed 100% legit. Also mad props to Mr. Marion for birthing that brainchild because I’m sure it got your new book plenty of attention.)
Anywho, I was not aware that the above was less of a joke and more of a foreshadowing of what I was about to read. And while I would like to tell myself that . . . .
Let’s get real. I don’t except maybe two times a year. I want to get lost in fiction, not have reality shoved up my butthole any further than the “fake news” already has it crammed in there. If you aren’t like me and simply can’t get enough talk of building walls for our safety and vetting everyone to make sure no refugees zombies sneak in and discovering maybe the man in charge is Steve Bannon a complete psychopath then this will surely be a winner for you. If you are like me you’ll be quick to realize The Burning World suffers from typical Book 2 in a series syndrome: it’s pretty much just . . . .
It’s building the world that wasn’t really bothered to be built in Book 1 and introducing a couple of new characters that will (hopefully) bring forth the action come Book 3. I’ll never know, however, because . . . . .
After having my morbidly obese patootey pretty much blown away by The Underground RailroaFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
After having my morbidly obese patootey pretty much blown away by The Underground Railroad, I knew Colson Whitehead was an author I wanted to read more of. When attempting (unsuccessfully, natch) to get a library copy of Isaac Marion’s latest, this one popped up on the “sorry we didn’t have the fluffy zombie romance you were hoping for, maybe you would like to read a super smart zombie book instead?????” window.
Zone One is a story many of you have read before. Something happened that caused an event now known only as “Last Night” which created a new population of humans . . . .
“All over the world this was happening: a group of them hears food at the same time and they twist their bodies in unison, that dumb choreography.”
In turn another new population was created – those known as “sweepers.” This is the story of a sweeper known to his comrades as “Mark Spitz.” Sidenote: Although it took about 14 years, the nickname Mark Spitz eventually was explained. I was highly disappointed when I found out it wasn’t due to him having an awesome pornstache . . . .
Mark Spitz and his fellow sweepers have been assigned the task of clearing (or sweeping, duh) Manhattan block by block in order to prepare it for re-habitation by the “pheenies” (what survivors of Last Night are now known as – being that they rose from the ashes like a Phoenix and all that jazz). While not battling “skels” (or their more disturbing counterparts, the “stragglers”), the pheenies battle through their PASD (Post-Apocalyptic Stress Disorder). Zone One tells the story of three monumental days, as well as flashbacks of how it all went when “Last Night slammed down.”
I truly feel terrible giving this 1 Star because Whitehead most definitely proves that . . .
“A beat-up telephone trailed its umbilicus, caught mid-crawl from the premises. The copy machine dominated the back room, buttons grubbed by fingerprints, paper tray sticking out like a fat green tongue.”
That being said, I have never NOT finished a book before, but good godamighty did I want to throw in the towel here. If you think it’s probably because I’m stupid, you’re partially right. There were many a time where I thought to myself . . .
(close enough) Deadpool has to figure out a way to make the nearly unkillable creatures kill themselves – or each other.
Which leads to the second half of this selection where The Merc With The Mouth has been recruited to go rescue a damsel in distress from her plastic surgeon. Things don’t go quite as planned . . . .
No! BRAINS, YOU IDIOTS. Haven’t you ever read a zombie story before? Jeesh.
Per the title Secret Invasion this collection was a Secret Invasion tie-in. Good news for any idiots like me who don’t read a whole lotta comics and pick up Deadpool due to his lack of continual storyline – you won’t be lost. This works fine as a standalone. It also might help all of you undecideds finally make a decision on who to vote for this election. Rather than choosing “the lesser of two evils” or a guy who tries to impress people simply by using the best words, maybe it’s time to pick the person who would actually do what he says he would . . . .
(A request before I begin, if you will humor me for a moment. If you’re gonna troll me for reading this wrong at least come up with a quotable quote my friends can berate me with for eternity. I’m looking at you, “You Suck Turtles” lady – you done good.)
Now on with the show. In case you aren’t already aware, I are quite horrible . . . .
I truly don’t intend to be contrary to popular opinion and, believe it or not, often go with the flow and fall right in line with the masses when it comes to reading things rightly or wrongly. This time, however? I am forced to go against even my fave lil’ witch. I was secretly hoping for this kind of reaction to the news that I downstarred one of her recommendations . . .
If only so I could throw the nervous pisser dog at her and lock the door pronto, but alas she is not of the butthurt variety and didn’t even get annoyed. (She is obviously turrrrrrible at this interweb thing and should probably read the handbook on how to act a dumbass.)
Alright, so about this book I didn’t like. Trapped is the story of a camping trip from hell. A group of six juvies and their court-appointed guardians have gone to be one with nature and experience some group therapy. It doesn’t take long before you find out the kids ain’t alright . . . .
So what was my problem? Well, the author decided to (1) give these future murder victims backstories which I could have given a shit about (I mean really, does anyone care about the home lives of people in films like I Know What You Did Last Summer or Wrong Turn???? Hell no, we just want to see them get the stabby stabby); and (2) he made them all speak ebonics. Now, I am not one who minds reading slang or accents, but this was obviously the whitest human in America (aside from Richard Spencer, of course) who was trying to be real “down” with how the urban youths speak today. And it was super annoying.
Anyway, everyone else loved this so read it. You’ll probably like it just like all my friends did. Don't want to roll the dice, but still want to read about a camping trip you'll never forget (without years of psychotherapy that is)???? Opt for The Troop....more
In 1967 a group of young men were brought together courtesy of Uncle Sam. They became killing machines and part of an elite task force known as the Magnificent Seven . . .
Five made it out of the jungle and went on with life . . . or whatever semblance of one they could make for themselves. Fast forward 20 years to the five men each receiving a letter along with a check in the amount of $50,000 if they attend a meeting – where a promise of an additional $1,000,000 paycheck is offered if they are willing to team up once again and participate in a rescue mission somewhere in the Northwest Territory known as “The Preserve.”
Where to start? Man this IS NOT a book I can recommend to just anyone. Mitchell told me to stop being such a little bitch and let him do this review, but to be 100% honest once he read the following . . .
“Then the thing turned to face us and its eyes, oh Christ those eyes, and its head bluntly misshapen, snouted, with the features of a boar . . .”
Yeah, he was gonzo and declared an automatic 5 Star rating should be given no matter what the remaining 3/4 of the book brought to the table.
So what did the other 3/4 of this book bring to the table? Well, aside from a repeat performance by my breakfast, lunch and dinner it brought one hell of a trip that I won’t soon forget . . . .
The Preserve might not truly be worthy of all of the Stars for most readers, but it’s getting all of them from me. I will forewarn you, you REALLY have to dig war speak. Luckily for me I was raised in a testosterone-driven family and cut my teeth on movies like Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now and Platoon. The characters, the battles, and the atrocities all brought memories of those films to mind. As I hinted about above, you also need to have an iron stomach. This is by far the goriest book I’ve ever read. Nary a page went by without something unthinkable being described in great detail.
I decided to pick this book up because I am a giant pussy and am terrified to write up how much one of my favorite author’s soon-to-be-released novels failed to wow me. However, “Patrick Lestewka” was able to deliver everything I have come to expect from Nick Cutter. Man I love those crazy kanucks . . .
I picked The Preserve up a year or so ago due to the Cutter angle mentioned above (and also due to the $2.99 Kindle price tag). I decided to read it now both because of the Little Heaven fail and because Charlene’s review called it “fun.” Only Charlene would call this fun. She is my go-to gal for all things horror and the best kind of sicko! ...more
"You feed me and I feed you and that’s what makes the world go round . . ."
The Coliseum. Man oh man. There are so few words. Luckily the interwebs are full of tons of pictures! Let me begin by recommending this charming little tale of prison life be read directly before a huge meal . . .
No, not really. In fact, I don’t recommend reading this at all. There’s a very exclusive section of society who would find this book enjoyable. They are known as Trudi and Mitchell.
Welcome to The Coliseum - the newest type of supermax prison. With the death penalty off the table, a group of lobbyists get approval for a former hockey arena to be . . . . renovated in order to keep the worst of the worst type of humans off the streets. Once you enter the Coliseum, it’s every man for himself. The guards are on the outside, the food is dropped from the sky. The only bright side is the neverending loop of that wonderful Huey Lewis and the News tune “Hip to be Square” . . .
a fella who wasn’t ever quite the same after his run-in with “Groundskeeper Willie” as a child. (Sidenote to anyone who gives a poop: Harlan will go down as one of my fave characters this year.)
There’s a lot of poop in this story. And entrails. So many entrails. As I stated right from the jump, this one isn’t for everybody. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, if you are of sound mind and rock-solid stomach, you should go for it. Ain’t nothing like discovering one of my favorite authors had an even darker persona than the one I’ve already experienced . . .
"When Hell is full, the dead shall walk the Earth. I’m pretty sure it’s a quote from tFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
"When Hell is full, the dead shall walk the Earth. I’m pretty sure it’s a quote from the Bible. Maybe not word for word, but something similar. And if not then it is definitely a quote from a George A. Romero film and - right now – those films should be our new Bible.”
You might think Rotting Dead F*cks to be yet another standard zombie fare. Things in the world were going along swimmingly when . . .
Zombie apocalypse. Per usual there’s no explanation why. Poop simply hit the fan. This is the story of several non-brain-nommers and their efforts to keep said brains un-nommed during the immediate aftermath of the zombie breakout. Of course, since this is a Matt Shaw story it takes things to a totally new level of discomfort. What begins with . . .
[image]
(Just replace that newspaper with a Kindle.)
Thar be triggers. Consider yourself warned.
If you can stomach the really-not-okay parts of the storyline, you’ll find yourself reading a real adrenaline rush of a novella. I read pretty fast, but this one left me cursing myself because there was no way for me to go faster, leaving me hyperventilating and nothing but a bundle of nerves ready to lash out at anyone who dared pull me away from my reading trance.
Good thing Shaw knows to keep his stuff short. He also continues to impress me with his horrifying brand of debauchery. Mitchell has already requested my assistance in making friendship bracelets for them to share . . .
“The world will end . . . not with a bang but with a whimper. The painful truth of theFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“The world will end . . . not with a bang but with a whimper. The painful truth of the matter is a little different, though, ain’t it? Because the fact of the matter is that the world keeps on keeping on. We just ain’t in charge any more.”
Turns out while he was sleeping it off, the entire world was overran by the undead. Sure, there might have been a few warning signs of what was to come, but Deadpool had his priorities straight – like flipping the channel during the boring news and catching a marathon of the best television show ever created on T.V. Land instead . . .
Now Deadpool is the only superhero alive, and it’s up to him to save humankind . . . with fart jokes. I keeeeed – well, sorta. Along the way Deadpool will cross paths with various people and deal with . . .
And watch as the action builds to a crescendo . . . .
[image]
(That was supposed to be a “Blaze of Glory” gif – but it turns out I like this song better so if you don’t like it SUCK IT!)
I hate to admit when someone like Jeff is right, but since it’s only happened once so far in our friendship I’ll go ahead and give him credit. Deadpool is the bomb dot com and gets all the stars. Dear Deapool . . .
“What is it they say? You never forget your first love.”
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this book blurb started spreading around the Goodreadsphere earlier this week. It became crystal clear there were only two camps – on one side of the room sat the normies who didn’t want anything to do with it and on the other side . . . .
Yeah, all of us freaks pre-ordered this sum bitch en masse.
For me I’ll admit as soon as I saw the title I may have let out a bit of a squee and offered up a tiny prayer to whatever freaky book god would deliver me a book about Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings. When the blurb confirmed this story would be about cannibalism Mitchell practically knocked me out of the way to get it pre-ordered. We were both expecting something very particular in this “romance” . . . .
Mitchell was less-than-thrilled when it turned out there was less ewww in the form of the nomnomnom and more ewww in the form of the fact that it seemed like we were reading the equivalent of a Sam Smith record playing on an endless loop . . .
Now, if you are of the weak-stomached variety, you’ll probably still barf. However, if you’re like me (a/k/a totally normal) you’ll look past the potential gross-out factor and see this novella for what it is – how to find closure and move on with your life after you’ve lost a partner. Imagine if you could sit across the table from someone you loved who decided to take his own life . . . or if you could speak to cancer or heart disease or whatever else took your love away. If you could release all of your hatred, if you could be provided an explanation of why, if you could find peace. This story is obviously not for everyone and it’s most definitely not perfect (probably around 3 Stars as far as writing/character development/etc. and negative 1,000 Stars for that fug cover), but I’m giving it 3.5 Stars for originality and for the fact that I thought I was just reading something for a cheap October thrill and ended up experiencing something much deeper.
Okay, the review portion is over – now I’m going to hop on my soapbox for a second. This week I’ve seen lots of posts (about this and another story) saying “this is subject matter that should NEVER be written about” or “shame on the author.” Everyone has the right to opt not to read a book, to 1 Star it because you hated it, to rage review it because you found it offensive – but be careful throwing around those “NEVERS.” You may regret it someday if you find your right to speak freely taken away . . .
First, can I just say that I LOVE being the first of my friends to review a book – especially when they earn all 5 Stars from my stingy self. To all of you who were denied the ARC, I’m so sorry. You must have done simply horrible things in your past life. Lucky for me I’m an angel, so I got approved. Good news is, the publication date has already come and gone so you don’t have to wait any longer in order to score a copy.
Alright, enough with my gloating – let’s get on with the show . . .
^^^See what just happened there???? That’s what I felt like while reading this book. I got myself all geared up for a good slasher story and then WHAM! Totally blindsided.
Now, that’s not to say this wasn’t a stabby selection. On the contrary, it was indeed. It even featured a little something extra . . .
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Brother begins in the heart of Appalachia where we meet the Morrow family – a hermitlike clan who live way back in the sticks. It’s in a farmhouse where we are introduced to Momma and Wade and their children Reb, Michael and Misty Dawn. The time is late ‘79/early ‘80, but due to their rural life in Dahlia, West Virginia the record player still spins a variety of Beach Boys, Neil Diamond (yes!), and ABBA and the only company they ever get are the girls Reb and Michael bring home to Momma . . .
“Them’s the perks of livin’ out in the wilderness, Momma had once said. You scream and scream and ain’t nobody around to hear.”
So I was expecting (and received) blood and gore. What I did not plan for was for such a deep story. The getting there was all the fun (???? – if you’re nuts like Mitchell). As for my reaction? I don’t do so well with feelings. They tend to make me all . . . .
This book made me have a lot of them. It also proved once again that . . .
“Sometimes things only make sense in retrospect.”
What a tangled web was woven. Oh and I’m totally getting ready to go there, so all of you haters who think a woman can’t write some seriously f*&^ed up stuff? Keep on keepin’ on. Ania Ahlborn, you ain’t right girl! (And that makes me love you.) THIS is the next motherf*&^ing Gone Girl.
Recommended to? Anyone who finds a two-for-one Groupon for therapy and will share it with me. ...more
"This must be what Dorothy felt like, I think. Maybe. If Dorothy was six scarFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
"This must be what Dorothy felt like, I think. Maybe. If Dorothy was six scared teenagers and Oz was hell."
When I saw ALLLLLLL of my friends reading All the Rage recently I figured I would end up reading it wrong (see Exhibit A) and opted for Summers’ version of zombies instead . . .
The premise seemed familiar – the zombie apocalypse began a week ago, leaving a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal six students no choice but to work together in hopes of surviving the danger that potentially lurks around every corner of their former high school where they are holed up . . .
Okay, so while the basic concept has been done a time or twelve before the delivery was 100% unique. If Lord of the Flies and The Walking Dead had a baby you might end up with something along the lines of This Is Not A Test. If you like your zombies with a lot of gore and a high body count you should probably look elsewhere. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a “zombie” book that deals more with questions of mortality and morality, this is the book for you. Summers is quickly becoming a YA fave.
“There’s a whole lot of weird shit going on out there, just most people are too dull tFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“There’s a whole lot of weird shit going on out there, just most people are too dull to see it.”
I drank a big ol’ cup of the Shelby Kool-Aid and bought this one due to her hilarious review. (Please everyone make sure you click over and like it – it’s Shelby’s #1 bucketlist item to be the most popular reviewer on Goodreads.) Unfortunately, this book ended up being kind of a big mess.
Makes sense since these were the days that revolved around grass, gas or ass – and no one riding for free. Well, no one except Suzie and her friends, that is . . . .
And our heroes learn that upon hearing Suzie’s siren song . . .
[image]
(Please note I do realize the reference is to the other song called Venus, but since this is the one that’s been stuck in my head for a day I’m passing it on to all of you. You’re welcome.)
they better familiarize themselves with the ol’ . . . .
This one didn’t quite work for me due to the abundance of plotlines. We’re talking sirens and aliens and dogankylosauruses and parasitic twins and luchadors galore. Buuuuuuut, if you want a cheap thrill (like ninety-nine cent kind of cheap) in the form of a “B Movie” quality type of horror story with some LOL-able moments . . .
“He didn’t belong in a place where women shouted about their pussies.”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I said that . . . .
Anyway, if any of that appeals to you, I suggest you run on over to Amazon, hit the one-click button, and settle in to the soothing sounds of Blue Oyster Cult playing on the 8-track while you wait for your download . . .
BUMP: 'Cause Shelby noticed this is free today and it's not too often I come across an author who might be even weirder than me. Bonus points from MitBUMP: 'Cause Shelby noticed this is free today and it's not too often I come across an author who might be even weirder than me. Bonus points from Mitchell for gifting him a soon-to-be-read-book with a character named "Boar Hog' Brannon." That Mitchell, what a cheap sell he is. Anyway, go get you some Gator Bait rightchere: http://www.amazon.com/Gator-Bait-Adam...
forced our MC to hightail it out of the city with no money to his name and minus a couple of fingers to boot. Ending up in a “backwater tonk in the willywags” it’s soon discovered that he can play a right fine pianey which earns him a job and the moniker “Smitty Three Fingers.”
Home of some world famous hooch and bare-it-all coochie gals, The Grinnin’ Gator is quite the destination. Smitty discovers he’s landed himself a pretty sweet gig. He has a roof over his head, is earning pert near city dollars even though he’s back in the stix, and he’s been lucky enough to stay on the owner’s good side so he’s not too worried about a close encounter with the resident badass, Big George . . .
or #sploosh since I don’t have a peen and all that.
Even though I bought it awhile back, I finally heard enough (I’ll get to handing out the credit in a second) to get off my dumper and read the dang thing. At under 100 pages I really have zero excuse for being tardy to this party. If you’re a fan of the ewwwww as well as some seriously developed characters and story all wrapped up in a tight little bundle, this one’s for you. And the noir tone? Yummmmmmmm. Just like icing on the cake. Unfortunately Mitchell came across this quote . . .
“Big George’s diet consisted mostly of chickens and rabbits . . . and once a PRIZED BOAR HOG . . . “
So he was out. He also demanded that I give it 1 Star, but I just shoved a sock in his mouth and found a replacement buddy to finish the read with me . . .
Frank Engator says 7 Stars (he’s new at this reviewing stuff and how the Goodreads rating system works). He also sympathizes with ol’ Smitty and his lack of digits since he suffers the same affliction. Should’ve kept your damn paws out of the honey pot, Frank!
Alright, now to give credit where credit is due. Melki gets a shout out and Shayne gets a shout out and Susan gets a shout out and Paul gets a shout out . . .
Your reviews reminded me that I should stop being a lazy pile. I also owe a thanks to the author himself who gave me the greenlight to gif the shit out of my review . . .
You write good stuff, Mr. Howe, and you’ve earned yourself a fan. At a buck (or free if you have Kindle Unlimited) everyone else should give Gator Bait a try this Stabtober as well....more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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