Friendly reminder to authors. Covers are important. Your opinion can differ from mine with respect to the cutesie cartoony cover (me = love ‘em), but similar cover art is never a bad thing when it comes to the ability of old geezers like myself looking for their next read. I loved The Love Hypothesis and still have Love on the Brain on the Kindle to get to eventually – and the reason it got there was because I recognized the art instantly. Honestly, I didn’t even notice Ali Hazelwood’s name on this one because . . .
But then I was chatting my weekly chat with Shelby like we do and when we finally got around to talking books after dissing our husbands for a bit she said she was reading this porny little vampyre/werewolf thing and loving it so obviously I put it on hold at the library.
Now, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read some leechy shifter shiz, but be still my ever Twilight loving self, this was IT for me! Bonus – it even had a plot and not just smexuals (*cough knotting cough*). If you want your supernatural love to be full on NC-17 rather than PG-13, get a copy of this stat. And if you want some more werewolf smut, I recommend most anything by Suzanne Wright.
First, for all you who are desperate to get some more Tia Williams in your life but are followers of the nincompoops calling this her “new novel” pleaFirst, for all you who are desperate to get some more Tia Williams in your life but are followers of the nincompoops calling this her “new novel” please take note that this damn thing came out in 2016. It’s getting a reprinting thanks to the raging success that was Seven Days In June but it’s not new dang book. Get yourself to the store or the library and snatch up a copy!
I picked this up because of the shame I felt for wrong reading the aforementioned Seven Days. That book had THE BEST opening I have read in a long time that had my ass cracking up, but then the rest of the book was all tragiporn in a literal porn and mommy was just not a fan. But I knew Williams had something worth giving another go so when I saw posts about this one on the ‘Gram I went to the library website to beg them to buy a copy and let me have first dibs on release day which is when I found out “influencers” on social media aren’t always the brightest bulbs and I ran down the street at lunch to get this paperback before anyone else caught on to the secret that it was an old book.
The only thing I have to say about this now that I’ve finished reading is it was like How Stella Got Her Groove Back had a baby with The Devil Wears Prada and I was There. For. It. And also???????
It’s been a minute since some fiction made your girl feel naughty but YOWZA! Oh and it was sometimes hilarious. Literally laugh out loud funny. Allllllll the Starzzzzzz! I can’t recommend this enough. ...more
But seriously, this is the story of almost 40 Solène who takes her 12-year old daughter and a group of said daughter’s pals to an “August Moon” concert at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas and ends up having an unexpected reaction to one of the boy band’s members . . . .
Pure escapism. And while I don’t personally find Harry physically attractive, I do have to admit after watching him host Saturday Night Live that he is certainly quite charming . . . .
Having just read a book about a school shooting the day before I was totally in need of some brain candy. This was everything I wanted it to be. It was sexy and steamy (just the right amount of steam too, not too much oversharing about all the bits and bobs) and did not end up with some ridiculous never-could-happen happily ever after – or even worse a surprise baby *vomits forever*.
May/Decembers aren't typically my jam, but there was just something about the delivery of this one - and not just the fact that it was muy caliente. Both of the characters were intelligent and well adjusted and went into their first "lunch" without romanticizing things. There was no glossing over the fact that they would draw attention - and not just because he was an international sensation. People in their lives had opinions and weren't afraid to share them. Some were valid, some were of the "people in glass houses" variety, some I would have simply told to go suck a turtle and continued boffing Zayn Malik Harry . . . . or Hayes - same diff. What I'm saying is there was more to this than simply hiding the salami. I almost want to give it all the Stars . . . .
This starts off with Ty and Zane having the sexiest sparring match in the history of pornography only to find out it is going to be the tropiest yum yum of all tropey yum yums and the only thing better than a fake relationship trope which is the:
WE ARE IN A SECRET RELATIONSHIP, BUT NOW HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP FOR OUR JOBS!!!
And in case you aren’t familiar with these books, that means these two alpha male special agent Feds are going undercover as a married gay couple to catch some sort of potential art thievery ring and the whole thing takes place on a cruise ship. I don’t think my heart can take it. Or my underwear drawer. I was flying through panties faster than a toupee in a hurricane!
I will absolutely be reading the other books in this series....more
Have you all met my friend Jilly???? If not, allow me to make a quick introduction here. You see, Jilly reads ALL SORTS of trash fine works. She’s also hilarious so she makes you want to read them too despite the fact that they often have simply terrible covers . . . . or titles . . . . or shapeshifting/alien main characters . . . . or plotlines. Basically, she’s this . . . . .
When I saw her reviewing this series last week I was super interested since I had actually heard of these before and discovered the pornbrary was all ready to hook me up with a checkout. (Confession: I really only wanted book 3 because it was tropey yumminess which I’ll talk about over on that review in about two seconds, but after reading about 7 pages of Fish and Chips I knew I didn’t want to skip the meet-not-so-cute between Ty and Zane). Previous sentence being written, these do work pretty well as standalones, but speaking from my own experience Cut and Run is not one to miss because about the thirty percent marker you’ll find yourself . . . .
Now I will come clean and say that I haven’t read much M/M, but I do read my fair share of pornos with a side of mystery and lemme tell you these two fellas??????
The sleuthing is about on par with any other “light” mystery – you get introduced to like 6 characters total so you know kind of right away who the bad guy probably is. Also these guys spent a lot more time banging in the shower than actually attempting to find a serial killer so you definitely need to have some serious leeway when it comes to whether a 40-hour work week is a requirement in your smut. But if you want to see if you can make your underpants combust simply via the written word, I highly recommend this series : )...more
Okay, not really, but I have been able to avoid the last of the motorbike pornos due to their epic lengths and little plot and also all but one of the Rock Chick books. I even dodged this one for a minute because that cover?????
But Kristen Ashley’s siren song is one that is hard for me to resist and eventually I added my name to the library wait list along with all the other horny housewives and when my turn came up yesterday I read the whole dang thing cover-to-cover. And now????
Yeah, I recommend this series to any KA fans out there who happen to stumble upon this “review.” Not only was it splooshy with a typical alpha male sex god, but this one had an actual story too. (Here our leading lady Evan is a stripper with a heart of god who is scheduled to have a blind date with a dude who is maybe some sort of commando and finds herself (in)conveniently requested to “hold something” for her jailbird brother that becomes a whole thing of dope, kidnapping, shoot ‘em ups, etc., etc.) Sadly, KA is still addicted to the “honey” speak, but with cameos by the Chaos motorcycle boys and Nightingale Investigations even that got a pass from me.
And the teaser for the next book????
“I had it in me, you know, before shit went down when I was in the service. It went into overdrive after that.”
“It?”
He glanced at me. He looked back at the road. Another glance at me. Then back to the road and, “I’m a Dom.”
I’m a day late for this release, but (i) I actually reviewed another book yesterday that released yesterday, (ii) I’m generally weeks or months (or even years) late with my reviews, and (iii) this is my second review today. so in my opinion . . . . .
THIS. GIRL. IS. ON. FIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
Let’s start by talking about these cartoony covers. I love ‘em. That’s been established. I also enjoy the male abdominal covers, but I tend to not like face covers (period), but especially in romance novels due to the fact that I want to cast the male lead using my own vagina imagination and not have the author’s idea of attractive forced upon me (because I am an asshole). Unless it’s Gus from Floribama Shore. It can always be Gus. He makes me go . . . .
For real. I was expecting PG-13 and not the shock and awe of a full-blown porny good time. I also wasn’t expecting real life issues to be within the book bindings. I realize this might not work for everyone who goes in simply hoping to get their freak on, but recently I’ve read subplots regarding infertility, custody issues and now divorce and each time I’ve been like . . . .
Now, full disclosure here, I wanted to 1 Star this because the big reveal (not a spoiler) of the why behind the potential breakup between Gavin and Thea was that he discovered he had never provided her something during their three-year marriage . . . . .
I get that might be a blow to the ego, but seriously? You want to pout alllllll the way out of the house and away from your kids because YOU suck at sex? You don’t deserve a wife, bro. Buuuuuuuuut, I kept plugging along because seriously that title is everything and of course there were deeper issues (again not a spoiler) that these two didn’t really even know each other before tying the knot and like Vicki Gunvalson would say on the Housewhores – their love tanks weren’t full. And then there was the fact that these alpha males all solved their marital problems via way of books like . . . .
So how could I not love it? Well, I probably could have found a way (again, asshole), but when you add a Major League baseball player into the mix my brain automatically goes . . . .
“My name is Alex and I’ll be serving you tonight.”
Penny Reid has become a go-to gal for me when I’m in the mood for a light romance. I have read more than a handful of her stories and have not disliked any of them, which is pretty much a miracle if you know me at all. I’m living proof that you don’t have to read her stuff in order either. I pick up what I call “The Bearded Brothers” in whatever order they come to me and I had only read #6 in this series before requesting this #3. I will say I’m not a knitter so the knitting club (as well as some of its members) aren’t necessarily my cuppa. The good thing is you can just skip the characters you don’t want to hear more about like I did and go right for the one that made you want to take your pants off : )
Our leading lady this time around is Sandra – shrink by day, dating failure by night. For the past two years she’s been taking potential Mr. Rights to a restaurant near her house where she gets dolled up, orders the butter chicken and . . . . then proceeds to make them cry like tiny little bitches. Alex is a waiter at said restaurant who has watched these near-weekly failures with more than simple curiosity. Sandra and I share the same feelings when it comes to Alex . . . . .
“He gives me zings in my things.”
Now let’s cease with the talky and get to giffing to ‘splain why this worked for me.
1. Not only was our female lead a doctor who actually had her shit together, but she was also significantly older than the leading male which made me go . . . .
To sum it up, Reid delivers what I order: an actual plot, well developed characters (including friends – not just the two leads), females who aren’t pushovers, males who might be a little alpha – but who don’t behave like cavemen, just the right number of pages and a bonus in the form of some LOL-able funny for good measure . . . .
“I like how you say my name. I can’t wait to hear you scream it.”
Wait, did he mean scream it as in yeah-baby-more-of-that-sexy-stuff, or scream it as in please-stop-murdering-me?
ESPECIALLY when it came to the realistic reaction to a ginormous wang . . . .
“No. Do not want. Please un-supersize my order.”
This time around she even offered up a trip down memory lane in the soundtrack that my family is hoping will get out of my head so I stop singing and gyrating all over the house . . . .
Maybe instead of a new reading challenge for 2018, Goodreads could implement a “yay for yFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Maybe instead of a new reading challenge for 2018, Goodreads could implement a “yay for you, you finally finished writing all of your 2017 reviews in March” award because at this point that’s probably how long it will be until I catch up. My apologies. At least this one was read at the end of the year instead of October or November.
I’m sure The Hookup would have hit my radar at some point, but the fast-forward button of me neeeeeeeeding to read it was pressed after seeing Val’s review. It wasn’t the amount of Starzzzzz she offered up because she is most definitely more able to enjoy things than I am a lot of the time. However, the comparison to Motorcycle Man made me say . . . .
Except, you know, not GENTLEMAN since Val isn’t a dude. Or gentle. But I digress. I read this on New Year’s Eve since I am old and have no life and let me tell you, it was the perfect piece of fluff to read on what is most everyone else’s drunken stumbly holiday . . . . .
K.A. has been a hit or miss author with me, but this one hit all of the right buttons right from the jump . . . .
“I woke up to the sound of a ceiling fan. I did not have a ceiling fan.”
That right there is what I call a “you had me at hello moment.” If the first line of a book has my lip quirking up to a grin, things might work out okay. Then I got to meet the leading man who was very much . . . . .
And that sure as heck didn’t hurt anything. Especially after learning his name. Johnny. Now, if you are of a certain age and your old horndog radar doesn’t instantly go beep with a leading man named Johnny, you might want to go see your gynecologist because your vagine is probably broken. All you other old grannies know what’s up, don’t you????
Yeah. That’s right. Good luck not wanting to make all the sexuals at the mere mention of the name “Johnny.” Fair warning: Johnny is (what I assume, since I've read but a blip on her billion novel playlist) a stereotypical Ashley leading male – he’s “that guy” which means he has a bit of an alpha streak. Good news this time around he’s more of “that guy” in the form of chipping in and lending a hand rather than being a bossy buttface. Even better news is the leading lady isn’t someone you’ll want to punch in the face. She goes into this “relationship” with Johnny with realistic expectations . . . .
“It was two breakfasts, two dinners, one phone conversation, one text exchange and lots of sex. Get over yourself.”
Best news yet??? These two actually talk when there’s an issue . . . .
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m not stupid. I’m not going to mess that up by being upset about something and letting it fester and get twisted before I talk to you about it. I mean . . . . yeesh.”
If you read a lot of romance novels you’ll know that never happens and this thing is like a mother effing unicorn. It also has what may go down as my favorite romance quote of all time . . . .
“Scarlett wanted Ashley. He went for Melanie. And Melanie was the finest being in that book. Even Rhett adored Melanie. Scarlett gets all the attention because the woman is the diva to end all divas. But there ain’t nothing wrong with being Melanie. Far from it. She was just as strong as Scarlett but a whole lot quieter about it, which is strength in itself.”
Boom. That right there is gospel. And dare I forget the reason we all really pick up stories like this. The sex??????
I’ve been putting ice cubes in my underwears ever since I finished trying to cool things down so I don’t spontaneously combust.
4 Stars rather than 5 because there’s only so many times I need to hear about “curlicue ironwork” on shabby chic furniture or about a “beautifully crocheted throw” and because Val told a bit of a white lie and there are more “honeys” than she remembered and also because there was a little extra drama thrown in at the end that was stoopid.
As always, my undying gratitude goes to the pornbrarian for being the dealer of smut - my drug of choice. Name the time and place and I'll deliver my firstborn over to you. Warning: he ain't as sweet as he used to be but he's still aiiiight....more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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