By the time my turn came around at the library for Conviction I had no recollection of whFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
By the time my turn came around at the library for Conviction I had no recollection of where I had even heard of it. Then I saw it was part of the “Hello Sunshine” book club and basically when it comes to Reese Witherspoon . . . .
Okay, maybe not anything, but she does pretty decent at picking books I like.
Anna is your typical housewife who enjoys listening to podcasts/escaping into a book along with a nice cup of Joe after getting the kids up and ready each day. Unfortunately for Anna, this particular day happens to be the one where . . . . .
Not only does her husband inform her he’s leaving her for her best friend, but her true crime podcast of choice focuses on someone she was acquainted with long ago who was suspected of killing himself and his children aboard a supposedly haunted yacht, annnnnnnnnd the jilted husband of the aforementioned adultering bestie shows up at her door as well. What follows is the story of Anna (and her new tagalong Fin) playing armchair detectives in order to piece together this puzzle before Anna’s own past catches up with her.
Obviously this was 100% farfetched and people who only enjoy realistic tales will find plenty to complain about here. Buuuuuuuuut, if you just enjoy escaping into your stories and love a good game of . . . .
I read this, but I’d be interested in hearing what the audio was like from anyone who went that route. Since it flips back and forth from podcast to “real life” and moved along at a near frantic pace, I think it would make for a great listen....more
I should have known better than to tempt fate after my miserable failure with Evelyn Hugo, but it was all over the Instagram and I am an easy mark.
I’ll be more than willing to take some of the blame for my experience here and say that from the cover/description I had definite opinions about what I was hoping the story would be like. Mainly in the form of . . . . .
How was no one else not completely bored with this? What a snoozefest! I was sure the high ratings were going to end up being just a Bookstagram thing because most of those young’uns are young enough that they might not realize this story/the delivery really wasn’t a fresh idea and was 100% done before . . . .
But most of my fellow oldsters over here loved it too. I’ll just go suck some turtles, I guess.
All that smacktalking aside, there is one thing about Daisy Jones that is deserving of all the Starzzzzzzz and that is the audio. Making it to the end of this selection had I opted for the print version may have ended up being one of the greatest struggles of my life (first worlder here), but the full cast audio was amazing. Too bad I hated the story they were reading to me : (
Seriously, though, who my age didn’t have a crush on . . . . .
And while I never got the appeal of Benjamin Bratt from a looks standpoint, after hearing him talk to me for infinity (because this thing never effing ended), I have this to say to him . . . . .
Somehow after double fails, Maybe In Another Life is still calling my name. If that one ends up as a wrongread like these other two have, someone take me out of my misery if I ever mention reading another book by this author....more
Quick question: Is the Netflix movie better than this book? My family is going on a road-Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Quick question: Is the Netflix movie better than this book? My family is going on a road-trip this weekend to murder Ron 2.0 for me play some baseball and I don’t want to be wasting my precious freedom on crap (and I’ll already have a bedsore-in-the-making from binging Ozark, I’m sure).
Despite the fact that I’m a thousand years old and am well aware this book was not written for me, I’m still gonna do what I do . . . . .
1. This child was not in love with ANYONE, let alone 5 different someones. She had schoolgirl crushes.
2. Speaking of child – Lara Jean was supposedly 16, but she came off more like 11.
3. She still calls her parents Mommy and Daddy (and as far as I know, she's not from the South or white trash (like me) where Daddy still can get a pass) and it grated on my nerves due to the combo of her emotional maturity being nonexistent.
4. BOTH of the boys in this “love triangle” were shitholes. Dear Young Hoomans: Don’t date boys like this. They are uggos.
5. I knew this going in (but it’s still my space and I still do what I do), but this is the first in a series that has absolutely zero chance of having enough material to fill three books.
Before I begin, let me say that this is not a book that normally falls into my wFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
2.5 Stars
Before I begin, let me say that this is not a book that normally falls into my wheelhouse when it comes to my “must reads.” So how did I end up with it? Well, there are several reasons. To begin with, where I live . . . .
So I figured I might as well read as many “summery” things as possible before the spice of the pumpkin officially invades the universe (a week early, no less, FFS!). This one actually had the dang word in the title so bonus.
Second, this book has been all over Satan’s Website Instagram which has made my library checkouts pretty much the equivalent of . . . .
And finally, despite the fact that the never-ending blurb there was no chance I was ever going to read probably laid out the entire story to me, in my mind I was convinced that I was getting ready to experience . . . .
(And yes I realize I should have just re-read fucking Peyton Place I know, but whatever. I do what I want.)
Upon starting, I was crossing my fingers for a bit of Middlesex to be thrown in for good measure. I guess in the most generic way possible this was a teensie bit Peyton Place with a splash of Middlesex. It just wasn’t very page-turny for me and even my husband remarked that he hoped my spending an entire weekend on one book did not result in a rage of the Firestarter variety. But again, this isn’t my usual bag so take my mediocre rating with a grain of salt....more
I had a feeling I would be the dissenting opinion on this one right from the start when tFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
I had a feeling I would be the dissenting opinion on this one right from the start when the author performed a Google search for some stolen cufflinks based off of a sketch (not an actual picture) and swore she found the exact items (for a bargain price of $8 even) and that she would be able to identify the original owner/identify the perp due to the fact that “names starting with the letter N” weren’t very prevalent on the Top 100 Baby Names list at the time and also thought it was perfectly reasonable to Ziploc baggie the things and present them to the police (because DNA evidence would still be present 30 years later??? Zoinks). I stopped watching Nancy Grace once my firstborn started sleeping through the night and I wasn’t held prisoner by the lack of viewing options at 2:00 a.m., thank you very much.
I feel I need to disclose that I received an Advanced Reader’s Copy of Patton Oswalt’s book . . . . that I still have not read because he broke what is left of my dried out rotten apple of a heart when his wife died unexpectedly and he shared how shattered he was and I can’t bear to even think about picking the damn thing up to this day. That being said, I understand why getting I’ll Be Gone In The Dark to print was so important to him. But it’s MY belief that reviews should be honest - and honestly??? I don’t get the hype. I don’t think McNamara’s writing is particularly brilliant unless you are interested in what type of clothing and music were popular at the time of a crime rather than details of the cases (not to mention the fact that she only wrote half of it before she died, making it EXTREMELY choppy); the timeline itself is 100% disjointed and hops from past to future to past again without rhyme or reason; despite the “EAR” or “ONS” or “EAR/ONS” being responsible for 50+ crimes hardly any are covered in this book; and last, but certainly not least, McNamara doesn’t seem to have had too much insight into the case at all, but rather an obsession/borderline addiction where conjecture rules and fellow couch commandos are considered experts (if you’ve ever been on a site like Websleuths or the like, you’ll know the exact opposite is true).
Bottom line is: I don’t think this would have ever been published were it not for her husband being famous and making it happen as part of his grieving process. Good news for everyone involved is that the Golden State Killer wound up being caught which gave I’ll Be Gone In The Dark new life and a sort of cult following and very few people who want to go on record as “poo poo-ing” it due to McNamara’s untimely death. Obviously I drank the Kool-Aid because I read the thing too. I’m just also willing to shit on everyone else’s sundae....more
“Misunderstandings don’t happen when a situation is black and white. They only happen Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“Misunderstandings don’t happen when a situation is black and white. They only happen when there are shades of gray, when there could be two different versions of the same damn thing.”
Have domestic thrillers always been a thing? Probably so. I just didn’t know the term until recently. Either way, I dig ‘em.
The Wife is a “ripped from the headlines” kind of tale about Jason, an economics geek turned media darling, who is accused of inappropriate behavior by an intern. It doesn’t take long before skeletons start to tumble out of his closet and another woman steps forward to accuse him of rape. Angela is faced with a terrible decision – stay as quiet as possible so her own history doesn’t get figured out and brought to public attention or stand up for her husband and risk everyone finding out about everything regarding her personal life.
I’m not going to say much more, because the whole point in these Lifetime Movie Mystery Channel types of stories is to be able to read them without being spoiled. I will say that although I have a couple of his novels on the “hysterectomy shelves” I have never read James Lee Burke before so I can’t compare his stuff to his daughter’s. I will also say that I thought Alafair was quite possibly an old British dude’s name, so I didn’t even have a clue that she was a she before picking this up, let alone the fact that she's related to a famous writer. Nope, I put stuff on hold simply due to the fact that I'm a lemming and once my friends start reading a book I don't want to feel left out ; )
Per usual with this style of book, you really have to suspend disbelief. But that’s what makes it fun. The 4 Stars are strictly for the page turnability (new word) factor. With warm weather (maybe???) finally upon us, this is a sure hit for vacationers who like to read a bit of the stabby rather than steamy as they play my favorite summertime game . . . . .
When Shelby told me she was reading (and enjoying) this a week or so ago I didn’t give it much thought. After all, I had an alright time with this author myself with Lingus. I had no choice but to read The Wall of Winnipeg and Me when it was shoved in my face so kindly lent to me by my book bestie via the Kindle.
I woke up to discover my favorite kind of Saturday morning – nice and dreary. I did a couple of necessary chores, drank some java, got myself ready like I was actually going to leave the house and then my husband asked what I had planned for the day. My loving response????
Then I proceeded to settle into the reading chair for Porny Saturday. Upon firing this selection up, I noticed something rather alarming. 673 PAGES?!?!?!?!?! Surely that had to be a trick . . . . .
As I went to confirm that was not a mean joke on GR, I noticed something that terrified me even more than the page count - everyone on my friends list loved it. (Except Ana – she was totally going to have to be my protector in the shame corner if things went south.) And I totally get why it was a fail for Ana. I totally don’t get why it wasn’t a fail for me, however. Not only were the amount of pages pretty barftastic, but it ended up being not what I thought it was going to be about and that should have made me hate it . . . or at least made me want to put it down for a while.
I didn’t bother reading the synopsis because . . . . well because Shelby said to read it and I am a lemming. Things started with Vanessa working as a personal assistant to professional football player Aidan (who wasn’t necessarily douchey but very much a strictly business type of boss). When Vanessa decided to quit in order to pursue her own dreams and Aidan showed up at her doorstep to confess that he “needed” her I thought for sure things were going to get nice and splooshy. Little did I know that he “needed” a green card and Vanessa to pull it off. Since I had just read that trope in Roomies I was double-ready to hate this one.
Instead I ended up developing a bed sore from sitting in the same spot for FIVE SOLID HOURS - taking breaks only to pee and change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Aidan did not become lovey dovey thanks to a magic vagina, Vanessa didn’t have a bunch of drama llama that could only be cured by a magic peen, the page count wasn’t a lie and the big shebang didn’t happen until the NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT marker (which absolutely resulted in the female equivalent of blue balls – what would that be called? blue waffle? no absolutely not blue waffle – don’t Google that). Despite all of the missing romance novel tic-marks, I’m agreeing with the majority here (sorry, Ana). If you read fast, are terrified of super porny porns and have a whole day to spend in some fictional romance world, this might be a winner for you. As Vanessa would say . . . .
When I initially posted the "review" below (based solely on leaked segments) the day befoFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
When I initially posted the "review" below (based solely on leaked segments) the day before Fire and Fury was officially released, I had no idea my little bit of nothing would get as much attention as it has. I also didn't really plan on reading the book. But then somehow the library decided it should order SIXTY copies of the thing and I went from 90th on the wait list to it being my turn before even a week was over (many thanks to the patrons who either removed their names from the list or made a point to return the book right away so everyone could get their chance) and there was a snow day so I had no excuse not to dive right in. So what do I think now that I'm finished? Well, I think we elected fucking Fredo to run our great nation . . . .
I stand behind everything I said before. This was indeed simply a "tell-all" as I originally believed and probably contained a "bigly" chunk of tabloid journalism (which surprisingly focused A LOT on the Bannon/Jared & Ivanka relationship). It's convenient that one of the most quoted figures in the book is Roger Ailes who is now dead. But at the end of the day does it really matter which quotes are real or who leaked what when it comes to sort of a "National Enquirer" type of bestseller? Trump said it best when he said the following about his supporters:
"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters."
If nothing else has been confirmed for me since the inauguration (aside from the fact that Trump had the biggest crowd ever in attendance *eye roll*) it is Trump's own quote above and this point that Fire and Fury makes over and over and over again . . . .
"He could not even attempt to imitate decorum."
And THAT is something that no one will ever be able to fix when it comes to this 71-year old man. Let's just hope America wakes up by the next election before Trump turns our country into a "shithole nation." : (
INITIAL THOUGHTS:
Today our Führer is attempting to prevent this book’s release. People quoted in the book are also coming forth denying they said some of the things attributed to them. If a copy of this (literally) falls into my lap – like from the sky while I’m sitting on a park bench or something – I may read it. As for what has been leaked so far regarding its contents? All I have to say is . . . . .
OF COURSE Trump didn’t think he would win the G.D. election. No one in the universe did. He put his name in the hat as a marketing ploy for his failing brand. Unfortunately for America, no one drinks the Trump Kool-Aid as well as Trump himself so once he was told there was a chance he could win he brainwashed himself into thinking he was qualified for the job.
OF COURSE he sleeps in a different bedroom than Melania. Melania had ZERO intention of ever moving from her gilded penthouse in Trump Tower until the powers that be told her she was obligated to for the sake of public appearance. It’s not like she really hides her distaste when it comes to her husband . . . .
OF COURSE Rupert Murdoch called him a “fucking idiot.” HE IS ONE. I guarantee Tillerson called him a moron too.
OF COURSE he is so delusional he believes someone would poison him. Hell, it’s probably someone in his own family … or someone who married into his family only to be used as a patsy.
OF COURSE he hates the Obamas. Every single move he’s made since being elected is an attempt to delete Obama’s footprint from the history books. At this point one could only be thankful if the reasoning behind Trump’s disdain is because they were “very arrogant” rather than because The Donald wears a white robe and hood around Mar-A-Largo on the weekends.
OF COURSE Ivanka has her eye set on being the first female president. It’s pretty obvious at this point the Trumps like to fancy themselves as a new and not-so-improved version of the Kennedy clan.
OF COURSE Trump doesn’t read or “really even skim,” but instead engrosses himself in television viewing in order to see just how “fake” the news is that day in order to be able to Twat about it while taking his 3:00 a.m. constitutional every night after his handlers have retired to their beds. Is it really surprising Trump isn't a big reader? He is, after all, the dude who has “the best words” such as . . . .
Once again DUH MOTHERFUCKER. You were the only one stupid enough to believe a fucking white supremacist had the best interest of the country at heart.
OF COURSE everyone who works in the White House right now hates everyone else. Kelly hates everyone most of all. Thank Jeebus he loves this country enough to keep trying to stomp out the dumpster fire which is this presidency with his bare feet every day.
Was I the only person who equated this release to a Kitty Kelley sort “unauthorized biography????” Now, thanks to Trump and his merry band of minions – along with their cease and desist demands, this is sure to be a bestseller . . . .
I posted the review for the first in this series yesterday while confessing that I read tFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
I posted the review for the first in this series yesterday while confessing that I read them out of order because #2 was on NetGalley and I had to beg the porny librarian to buy this one for me. The premise here is that Amalie is getting ready to marry . . . . some dude. I can’t remember his name so we’ll just call him Dick Punch since that’s what he needs. Anyway, it’s their wedding day and thanks to a pretty good church PA system, all of the guests get to enjoy the soothing sounds of Dick Punch receiving a blowie from the local whore. I know I know, girls aren’t allowed to call other girls whores and I promise that . . . .
But all bets are off when someone’s got my fiancé’s wang in their mouth.
Completely humiliated, Amalie doesn’t know how she’ll face everyone. That’s when it’s great to have a best friend to help hide the body step in and take care of things. Enter Ruby who convinces Amalie to cash in Dick Punch’s plane ticket, use his credit cards and take . . . .
This next part probably doesn’t matter anymore because I’m sure the cat is out of the bag at this point, but the author requested the love interest not be named, so I’m following orders. I will say, though, now that I’ve read both books that this is the only available dude from book one, so . . . . .
If you’re looking for lots of the sexuals, this one has waaaaaaay more than Shacking Up. Unfortunately I didn’t like it as much and it’s all Amalie’s fault . . . .
He Who Shall Not Be Named was definitely splooshable, but she kept killing my ladyboner by being the kind of girl who is the reason why the rest of us can’t have nice things: She was a wimp, she was going to marry a Dick Punch she didn’t really know and who was barfable before he ever got a BJ at their nuptials, and she was a phony to boot and pretended to be all vanilla but then brought a suitcase full of sex toys on their honeymoon to show Dick Punch the “real her” or some such noise. Really? Why not let your freak flag fly and own who you are in the sack? Also, an entire freaking suitcase????
Anyway, this gets 3 Stars which still isn’t bad for me. Ya’ll will probably be able to ignore Amalie, focus on He Who Shall Not Be Named and surprise your husband with a selection from your giant trunk of sex appliances after you finish reading this one.
ARC provided by NetGalley about 152 years ago in exchange for an honest review. Thanks NetGalley!...more
So let’s talk a second about my newfound dabbling in the world of audiobooks. I have long-since learned the words to every single song in the history So let’s talk a second about my newfound dabbling in the world of audiobooks. I have long-since learned the words to every single song in the history of the world and wanted something different for my morning commute instead of this . . . .
[image]
(That is 100% the look my husband gives me when I insist on singing too!)
Anywho, please note said commute is still not very long so, at best, I get through one “part” of an audiobook each weekday. Despite having both an e-version as well as a paper version of an advanced reader copy of After You for over two years (Dear Publishers, never give me anything because I truly am the worst), I couldn't bring myself to read it. I knew I had to be far enough removed from Will's death in order to give this a chance. When a combination of me finding out a third book in this series was soon to be released as well as the audio popping up as both available and recommended to me on the library website I figured what the hell - it was probably time to bite the bullet.
I had every intention of giving After You 2 Stars because Jo Jo Moyes obviously has a ginormo set of cajones to even attempt to follow up the perfection of Me Before You. But then ELEVEN FARKING DAYS of listening went by (I know my reading log doesn’t reflect that, but it’s because I’m stupid and forgot to add it) and everything that was magic about the first book was tainted and cheapened and Louisa wasn’t adorable and quirky, but instead insufferable and pretty much a failure at being a grown-up and then Lily (FUCKING LILY!) showed up and I have never wanted to smack the crap out of a child as much as I did her little entitled ass and all of the men were vile and WTF happened Jo Jo – your husband cheat on you or something?!?!?!?! Not all men are awful FFS! Anyway, this was just gross. I am crossing my fingers that this was the “filler” book (although 100,000,000% unnecessary) in Lou’s story so she can get here happily ever after in #3. This one, though????
On a positive note, the narrator (Anna Acton) had the most pleasant voice and I would love to listen to her read again. Just not a big stinking pile of turd like this one. ...more
“Up is down, down is up. Bigfoot is searching for me now.”
I passed Bone White up when it was offered over on NetGalley due to having a pretty “meh” experience with Little Girls by this author. But then a bunch of my friends started reading it and loving it and giving it crazy high ratings and well, you know me . . . . .
I was 100% prepared to be the dissenting opinion and wrong-reader of this one, so imagine my surprise when I got sucked in just like everyone else.
The story here is of Paul, a man who ends up in a remote area of Alaska searching for his missing brother after seeing a story on the news about a local who showed up in town, confessed to murdering eight people and led authorities to their bodies. When it turns out Danny isn’t one of the deceased, Paul decides to try and track him down in the last town he was seen - Dread’s Hand . . . .
“Blink and you’d miss it: a town, or, rather, the memory of a town, secreted away at the end of a nameless, unpaved roadway that, in the deepening half light of an Alaskan dusk, looks like it might arc straight off the surface of the planet and out into the far reaches of the cosmos. A town where the scant few roads twist like veins and the little black-roofed houses, distanced from one another as if fearful of some contagion, look as if they’d been excreted into existence, pushed up through the crust of the earth from someplace deep underground.”
Faced with less-than-cooperative civil servants and even more uncooperative townsfolk, Paul is on his own when it comes to discovering what happened to his brother. And that’s when things really get interesting . . .
I’m well aware that I’m a weirdo, but I wouldn’t categorize this as a horror. That should probably be taken as a compliment by the author, because my brain has a twisted definition of what “horror” is and I tend to not be real impressed by the things that go bump in the night. At the same time (without giving anything away), Bone Whitedid end up having one of the only “big reveals” that doesn’t feel super campy to me. The only other thing it could have been that would have scared the hell out of me?????
Ha! Anyway, I would file this as a mystery. The desolate location and “Deliverance-esque” locals (without the butt rape) is what provides the make-your-butthole-pucker-type-of-creepy – not some monster. I mean, have you ever watched one of those Alaska reality shows? I like being alone, but that is a waaaaaaaay different kind of alone. I can’t believe this sits at little over 100 ratings on Goodreads. With October right around the corner, I hope more people add this to their TBR. It would be perfect for a cold, Halloweeny-type read. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you. Go check out what these amazing people had to say instead. They words much better than me . . .
Many thanks to the big liburrrrry for having this one at the ready when I had my “this is America, I want it now” moment. And look at the new thing to do there . . . .
I mean, not for me to do there. I’m perfectly fine being slothlike and obese. But other people who enjoy being around other people can do yoga on the roof. Fancy!...more
The Fourth Monkey popped up on my radar months ago after a friend 5-Starred it. However, Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
The Fourth Monkey popped up on my radar months ago after a friend 5-Starred it. However, due to the fact that I’m well aware that my friends are much kinder and way less judgey than me, I didn’t bother requesting an ARC. Then more 5s started appearing, including one from a certain someone who is judgey like me . . . but who also has a well-known love for evil monkeys so I still wasn’t 100% sold. It was also too late to request a reader copy so I had to put myself on hold at the library. It seemed another friend was doling out alllllllll the Stars daily by the time my turn came up Saturday night . . . .
Detectives Porter and Nash have been working the “Four Monkey Killer” case for the past five years ever since the first white package was delivered. Those packages have arrived fairly regularly ever since . . . .
Well, seven really, but the whole story here is finding the eighth before she croaks since the perp can’t really tell anyone where she’s being held.
This thing was just flat out awesome. I’m a hard sell when it comes to thrillers, because they ALWAYS crap the bed somehow. And while this one wasn’t exactly perfect when it came to the big reveal (if you want to talk in spoilers in the comments below, I’m more than happy to because maybe I just missed something), in the end it didn’t really matter.
The brutality of the murders was deliciously squicky. And while there was an obvious comparison to “What’s In The Box?!?!?!?!,” the fact that it was acknowledged made it all A-Okay . . . .
“Open it up, Nash.”
“Maybe we should flip for it. I had to open the last one.”
“No, I insist. I saw Seven – if Gwyneth’s head is in there, the image will be stuck in my mind for months. This is all you. Be a man.”
^^^Great, right? Which brings me to the humorous undertone that was present throughout . . . .
“Are you escaping?”
“What?”
“You’re wearing scrubs and you look a little rough to be on staff.”
“No, nothing like that. [SPOILER OMMITTED] stabbed me in the leg with a kitchen knife, then left me for dead in my kitchen. I couldn’t find my clothes, so I took these.”
“Smart-ass.”
Porter and Nash were excellent leads, but the real magic came from the surrounding cast of characters. Especially Kloz, the computer programmer turned detective who wasn’t afraid to engage in some questionable activity in order to find what he was looking for.
Not to mention the clues that were presented were so minor, and yet all made such sense in the end . . . .
“Some change, a dry cleaner receipt, a fedora, the pocket watch . . . . what does it all mean?”
“Puzzle it out.”
Oh, and it’s not what you might be thinking . . . .
I’m not a girl who likes a kitchen sink thrown in to the mix at the end of a whodunit, but even an exception for that has to be made here because dat lil’ summin’ summin’ more?????
I had a pretty sever book hangover after finishing She Rides Shotgun and needed a “buffer read” before starting something new. This was exactly what I expected it to be. Except for the (view spoiler)[penetration (hide spoiler)]. Times have changed! Anyway, what can I say? I’m a pretty cheap sell when it comes to werewolf books. After all, I am the woman who not only called a radio station for weeks on end in order to win tickets to the early screening of New Moon, but who also attended said screening with her boss while wearing this shirt:
If you loved The Twilight Saga unapologetically and still like to get your teenie bopper howl on, you might find this one to be aiiiiight as well. You know. For science . . . . .
When a friend of a friend of a friend (or some such fuckery which creates the Goodreads’ feed) posted a status about how this book had been banished from the world of Kindle due to it being so controversial, I knew I wanted a piece of the action. In case you are seeing this little blip due to the same friend of a friend of a friend bullshit, I’m not one who typically shies away from “books that should not be read.” Don’t believe me? Take a look at EXHIBIT A. I read that like 27 seconds after the author showed up at a stranger’s door for daring to give her preshus a negative review. Basically, I ain’t scurrrrrred of any subject matter (and I still can’t wrap my brain around why that author chose to shoot herself in the foot with her own crazy because I farking dug her book.)
I’m withholding my rating here due to the fact that I only read the first 20% freebie which was offered over on Smashwords. I don’t really give a shit if other people rate books they didn’t finish, but since I have never DNF’d a book before, I don’t think it’s fair for me to rate this one. All I have to say about The Wild is . . . .
This thing (well, the first 20%) was soooooooooo stupid. I can’t imagine it going anywhere but downhill. First, let’s address the fact that this family of wannabe Bear Grylls basically pull about 20 feet off the road and then proceed to nearly die. The finger of God helps remove mommy from the scenario so daddy and baby can eventually get to the boot-knocking without a third wheel. Buuuuuuuuut, that’s not before daddy’s little girl GETS FUCKING IMPALED ON A GODDAMN TREE THAT SHE HAS TO LITERALLY CLIMB UP A BIT IN ORDER TO REMOVE FROM HER ABDOMEN. And then dear old dad wads up a dirty dirty t-shirt, plugs it in the hole, calls it good and the two take a nap. WTF?!?!?! From what I’ve read it gets even worse with some inbred breach baby that needs turnin’ before birthin’. I mean, give me a break.
All that aside, let’s get down to what you’re all here for – the pink elephant in the room. I’m no author, but I do know if you want to write something that succeeds in being “dark” or “taboo” you reeeeaaaallllllyyyyy need to be willing to go balls out. There is no way in hell any father would ever wake up one day and decide to have sex with his daughter. Therefore, we readers need to know dude is fucked up like IMMEDIATELY. He can’t be a loving father turned child molester – he has to be a child molester first. If you’re going to go black, it has to be as black as Mitchell’s heart. You have to tell us how this man conditioned his daughter to look to him as his one-and-only from the time she was a little girl. He has to not care about societal norms. He has to be 100% self-centered and not give a shit about how twisted he is. Either that . . . or she has to be a Lolita and he has to be her new stepfather because normal dads don’t do this and even in erotica there’s only so much reality that can be left at the door.
If you want some selections that might test your moral boundaries, allow me to suggest the following:
You – because you never knew how much you wished you had a stalker until you meet Joe.
The Hades Hangmen Series – because nothing gets your motor churning like a girl who was raised in a rapey cult.
Tampa – because you’ll never know how cringey a teacher banging a 13-year old could be until you meet Celeste (and also because the buttonhole cover that looks like a vagina from a distance might be the best cover to be caught in an elevator or on the bus reading).
Nine Minutes – because abduction and Stockholm Syndrome are the purest form of love.
Don’t waste your money on this, but maybe waste it on This is War, Baby because that one has been on my TBR for quite some time and I think I finally need to read it in order to give this author a fair shake....more
I’ve wanted to read this sucker ever since the first time I saw it due to the super classy title and the fact that the fellar on the cover reminded me a bit of . . . .
However, I am fully aware of my limitations and knowing it was being released as a SERIAL (a/k/a the only thing more irritating to me than a series) was enough to keep me away. When another pervert who shall remain nameless *cough Shelby cough* informed me this was available for FREEEEEEEEEEEEE (go get you some RIGHT HERE) and it was the entire first book – not the first of the three part serial – I one-clicked that sumbitch as fast as my fat little fingers would let me. Then I went to my youngest’s baseball tournament and had multiple parents ask what I was reading. Good times.
The story here is of Cole and Hailey. Hailey is a silver-spoon type with a heart of gold from a family who has a hard time steering clear of scandal. Cole is a “fixer” of situations like those Hailey’s family is prone to getting involved with. Part security guard, part private investigator, part criminal – Cole and the other members of The Horus Group do whatever it takes to clean up messes. That knowledge has made Hailey keep her guard up, despite Cole’s animal magnetism. Normally that would be the best case scenario for Cole, but Hailey’s been crawling under his skin . . . .
“When I say you’re a distraction, I mean I can’t get you out of my fucking head. I wonder what the inside of your mouth tastes like and if you’d pull my hair when I go down on you.”
Imagine my surprise when there was a bit of plot thrown in for good measure. What starts as a simple TMZ type of story quickly morphs into a potential crime ring between a couple of squicky bad guys . . . . .
I also always figure I’ll hate the female lead never expected to get so many grins out of a story with a title like this, but Hailey’s internal voice was pretty freaking funny. No “inner goddess” here, she thought normal, self-deprecating things like . . . .
“I think about taking off the skirt, but it’s better that Cole not see the full extent of my thighs until after we’ve had sex. Plus I’m cute. You’re cute, I mouth at myself in the mirror. The chubby chick stares back, not quite believing me. You give Cole Parker a hard-on.”
And while there were some things that never jive with me like being so caught up in the moment a condom isn’t used without even taking 10 seconds to make sure no babies or STDs will be happening as well as some talk about being “slippery now, sloppy even” which is seriously . . . . .
I really couldn’t expect that NOT to happen in a book with a title such as this.
Additional props to the endless epilogues that didn’t waste too much of my time talking about the sappily ever after mumbo-jumbo, but instead talked more about how to . . . . .
“If you love someone, set them free. What a load of bollocks.”
Never in the history of my Goodreads membership has a book been recommended to me so many times by friends. Of course, me being me with somewhat of a history of wrongreading, that made me a little wary of rolling the dice. Buuuuuuuut, I did and I can now tell you all that . . . .
I will not admit to being wrong because I was having a perfectly okay time while I was reading. I was also thrilled to see what I thought was a spoiler really didn’t end up being a spoiler at all. And I’m telling you IF YOU GET SPOILED ON THE ENDING IT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING. Okay, maybe not everything because as I said it’s a pretty decent read, but those last couple of pages bumped this from 3 ½ to 4 Stars made me say . . . . .
If you have a friend with a big mouth, you should seriously consider blocking their dumbass right now before you have to cut them.
Alright, about the book. Per usual with this genre not a lot can be said, but let’s start with the title and then let the book speak for itself. Who the eff came up with the bright idea of adding “A Suspenseful Psychological Thriller” to the top of every page? I’m telling you everything was going swimmingly for me when it came to my enjoyment until once in awhile that tagline would catch my eye and I would think “this is neither suspenseful nor psychologically thrilling to me – I must be reading it wrong.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (Please spare me your “fat shaming” commentary until you volunteer to have your husband cheat on you and prove you will stay high when they go low.)
My Goodreads’ buddies have been trying to get me to read The Thicket since before it evenFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
My Goodreads’ buddies have been trying to get me to read The Thicket since before it even came out (because an ARC was available for request), but I resisted because . . . . .
Well, partially. Also because I really am not a fan of westerns. Even though Ron 2.0 assured me this wasn’t a real westerny western and Shelby had 5-Starred it, I didn’t end up requesting this one until I became addicted to the library’s Read to Reel Challenge and discovered this fine gentlemen has been cast in a hopefully soon-to-be-made film version . . . .
The story here is about Jack Parker, an almost grown man who is on his way to live with an aunt in Kansas after his ma and pa die from the pox when his granddaddy is killed and his sister is kidnapped by bad guys. Recruiting the help of a gravedigger, a dwarf, a whore and a hog, The Thicket then becomes about . . . .
“Our job is to rescue her, kill the hell out of the man who stole her, and collect a reward.”
If it came to my enjoyment of the story, this one would rate fair to middlin’. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t like westerns. And while this one was on the cusp of being not too “westerny,” it still featured chasing marauders and complaining about crotch chafing from horse riding enough that my attention waned a bit. However, there is just something about Joe Lansdale that is impossible not to love. Mainly the fact that he demonstrates that he believes . . . . .
While the subject matter was a tad more serious, The Thicket definitely had a bit of a Blazing Saddles vibe to it and I have no option but to give it 4 Stars because Lansdale can write like nobody’s business and Shorty will go down as an all-time favorite character. Also because if I don’t my drinking buddy said he won’t be friends with me any longer . . . .
This book was an extra bonus in a care package from someone you’d never expect to send meFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
This book was an extra bonus in a care package from someone you’d never expect to send me something. Ha! Just kidding. It totally came from Shelby. Now we’ve both read it so hold on to your butt Susan Elizabeth Phillips . . . .
While this one didn’t get allllllll the starz from me like it did Shelby, it did earn 4 and I also read it a little wrong which I will explain momentarily. (Sidenote for the one of you who might be interested: The Hating Game was the other book sent to me with this one and I creamed my pants all over it. If you want to read what grouchy old twats choose when looking for the sexuals, now you have two options.)
Let’s quickly discuss how I read this wrong. First, I don’t read blurbs. That means I had no clue what this was about and thought it would be a super porno. (Dear Author, your covers are some of the worst I’ve ever seen and you can really write. Make them not ugly. Kthanxbye.) Second, I can’t think of one professional football player I find attractive so having one as the leading male doesn’t get my motor running. In my head they all look like Clay Matthews . . . .
Those couple of things aside, this was a really cute book. Piper has taken over her deceased father’s private investigation company and has been hired to keep tabs on the aforementioned ex-footballer Cooper. When her cover is blown Piper finds herself hired by Coop in order to see if the employees of his new nightclub are on the up-and-up. Add in some side stories including potential danger to Cooper (dun dun dunnnnnnnnn), a Middle Eastern prince, a maybe not-so-dead neighbor’s husband and you’re in for some quality fluffy good times . . . .
Piper was a more capable Stephanie Plum (fuck off if you don’t like the comparison – after reading eleventy trillion Plum novels she’s the automatic go-to when it comes to characters like this) and her interactions with Cooper were a hoot . . . .
“Wear that blue dress tonight, and try to look sexy. As far as Logan and his crew are concerned, you’re a special hostess.”
“That makes me sound like a hooker.”
“As soon as he sees you, he’ll know you aren’t.”
She couldn't decide if that was a compliment.
Love hate relationships. I lurrrrrrv them. You know why? Because they lead to angry sex . . . .
Anywho, Spring is right around the corner. If you need to add some books to your poolside Want To Reads, this is a winner. I’ll even help you out. Who wants it? Assuming I don’t think you’re a person who is interested in turning me into a skinsuit, I’ll pay this one forward and mail it to someone who wants to save a couple of bucks....more
Yep. I’m still 30th in line at the non-porny library (and yes I just removed this request – I’m an old lady and forget these things sometimes).
Since this is a mystery you’re going to get an even crappier review than I normally barf out. The basic premise of The Couple Next Door is that Marco and Anne’s babysitter cancelled at the last minute due to a family emergency, leaving the couple all dressed up with nosomewhere to go. Not willing to let a new baby cramp their style, the two decide to leave the baby monitor as babysitter and a promise to rotate shifts every 30 minutes in order to make sure said baby is okay so they can still go next door for dinner and draaaaaaaaanks . . . .
Save your breath if you feel the need to tell me how horrible I am for judging this couple because #1 I know I’m horrible, #2 it’s a book so calm yo tits, and #3 I would still judge these a-holes the same if it was real life and I give zero shits.
So anywho, Anne and Marco return home around 1:30 a.m. to find their door partially open and zero baby in the house. I was a bit worried for a minute when the detective showed up because Anne’s reaction was. . . .
“When a child goes missing, are the parents usually the prime suspects? Surely not.”
But luckily the detective was not a dummkopf and he totally thought they offed their own kid.
I will say I didn’t like the direction of everyone thinking “time was running out” in order to find the baby alive. Obviously I’m not an expert, but I am a geezer and every time a baby kidnapping story has been on the news for the past 412 years it’s been some crazy bitch who stole it in order to raise as her own who was the culprit. Murder doesn’t usually seem to be the M.O. in those cases. But I’m probably wrong.
Bottom line is this was like watching a decent movie on this channel . . . .
Holy poop I’m really far behind on reviewing. And you know what’s awesome? All the librarFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Holy poop I’m really far behind on reviewing. And you know what’s awesome? All the library books I read while on Christmas vacay are now disappearing from my Kindle making my notes go “poof” . . . . .
(Hey Goodreads, why don’t you figure out how to make your super not awesome feature of Kindle note sharing work for library books instead of just shit I had to buy on Amazon. Kthanks!)
Anyway, like I said I’m really far behind, I read this nearly two weeks ago and I am senile so I don’t have any quotey quotes to share. You’ll just have to trust me that the dialogue on this was pretty decent and there were some quotables.
Shelby (Ha! I totally got to link one of your “I lurved it, it was gud” reviews LOLOLOLOL) has been telling me to read Karen Slaughter until she’s blue in the face, but I’m a jerkoff so I ignored her. (Really I was a little terrified I would hate it and then she would cut me.) Good news is, I didn’t hate it at all. And to Karen Slaughter . . . .
At the risk of sounding sexist against my own fairer sex, I never cease to be amazed by women authors who are willing to take things to an uncomfortable level with zero shits given. Caroline Kepnes did it with an anti-hero you just couldn’t stop yourself from falling in love with, Ania Ahlborn does it with horror and Karen Slaughter does it with crime fiction.
The story here is about dead women in Atlanta whose murders may be connected. “May” being the operative word due to the fact that they don’t fit the typical serial killer scenario since they are of different ages and socioeconomic backgrounds. They all have something in common, however, that is a potential link – their tongues have been bitten off. Makes you hungry, right????
Detective Michael Ormewood has been assigned the latest case when a fella named Will Trent enters the scene offering to help. Then things get a little cray and you get to find out just how intricate a spider web Karen Slaughter is capable of weaving together.
So like I said, I’m officially a Karen Slaughter fangirl now. I had my doubts after reading Pretty Girls, but I’m going to trust Shelby and say that one was just a fluke. Now, Slaughter does have her moments and this was a real Stephen King in need of leaving some pages on the cutting room floor, but other than those times where I was screaming . . . .
1. Will Trent. J.K. Rowling did it with Cormoran Strike and Karen Slaughter did it with Will Trent. Instead of some super hot supersleuth, Will kind of resembles this guy . . . .
He’s not pretty. He’s also seriously effing broken and you’ll totally fall in love with him (if you’re smart it will be a not-sexy way because Shelby called dibs a long time ago).
2. Speaking of broken, meet the female lead in this series Angie Polaski. As a future Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame inductee once said . . . .
She’s seriously punchable and also a little awesome.
3. The change in perspective. I didn’t expect the narrator to change and it threw me for a loop for a bit, but boy was that a good idea.
4. Knowing the “whodunit” early. I love a good mystery that confirms your suspicions early and allows you to sit back and enjoy the ride while the characters play catch up.
If you’re a fan of crime thrillers, this is an author to definitely check out.
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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