Before I talk about how much I disliked this book, let me start with saying I freaking loooooooooved The Husbands, so still give Chandler Baker some oBefore I talk about how much I disliked this book, let me start with saying I freaking loooooooooved The Husbands, so still give Chandler Baker some of your money. And if you are looking for a book about bloodsucking children for the spooky season, I highly encourage you all to check out The Lesser Dead.
To say Cutting Teeth was one of my most anticipated Fall reads would be an understatement. As I said above, I was looking forward to whatever Baker was going to come up with next after her revamp of a Stepford Wives story and when I saw this was about some bloodthirsty four year olds at the local preschool I was all in. That’s before I knew it was actually going to be A LOT of “mommy” talk about how haaarrrrrrrrrd it is to be a mom and judging of the “right” type of parenting and quite a bit of man bashing thrown in to boot and there is maybe nothing as mind numbing as people who only talk about their children nonstop . . .
No, ma’am. It is 100% NOT okay to simply regurgitate the younger ginger Murdaugh son’s sordid history into your page count when everyone in the G.D. universe was tuned in to that trainwreck for the past couple of years. Talk about lazy. This is only getting 2 Stars for the ending. ...more
With a recommendation of Undermajordomo Minor that ended up being such an unexpected delight.
The story here is about a young man named Lucy (short for Lucien) who takes a position at the Castle Von Aux as – you guessed it – the Undermajordomo. The details of his employment are sketchy at best, with little talk about what he will be paid or when he will be paid it, but the rules are pretty clear. Be in your room by 10:00 and don’t forget to lock the door. The Baron of the castle is to know nothing about his employment as well, and if olde times, a creepy castle and a Baron make you fondly recall your time with What We Do In The Shadows . . . . .
Like it did me, you’re not far off the mark. What follows is the story of Lucy’s tenure at the castle – full of adventure, thievery, sexual exploits, murder and . . . .
And my chance to win free shit from the library so I channeled my inner Barney Stinson and said CHALLENGE ACCEPTED by fully embracing the theme “Show Me State” (for those of you who aren’t tavern trivia champs knowledgeable in state mottos, this year’s suggestions either take place or are written by people from Missouri). Miss Anita is a character from St. Louis so she fit the bill perfectly and finally got me off my keister to give this series (or at least this first volume in the series a go).
So the story here is about Anita Blake, an “animator” (think less Disney and more Walking Dead) who gets hired by a big muckity muck vamp to investigate some slayings. There’s a little of this . . .
The answer is 100% no. This is true urban fantasy with zero salami hiding but plenty of action. I was really surprised at how well it stood the test of time and has no references or anything at all to age it. Not bad. Not bad at all. And now I’m one step closer to my coffee mug : )
If you are familiar with Brett Easton Ellis, you are already aware that he is the one whoFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
If you are familiar with Brett Easton Ellis, you are already aware that he is the one who gave us the opulence and overindulgences of youth like what can be found in . . . .
It’s the end of summer, 1982. Days are spent poolside in a hazy state of inebriation while movies play on the Betamax and the earworm of “Our Love’s In Jeopardy” burrows in deeper as the cassette reel turns. Everyone’s f*&^ing everyone and people are dropping like flies. But is it normal for your blood to end up all over the ceiling when you “OD”???? Or for everyone to think you’re hanging in Vegas, but then your arms get discovered on La Brea? Even the future president ends up on the cover of GQ with what looks like puncture wounds on his neck . . . . .
Okay, so a word of caution to anyone who thinks this sounds like a good time: (1) it takes over 50% of the book before the vampires appear; (2) the delivery is a short story cycle so although loosely connected, there is not a real cohesive flow; (3) it’s B.E.E. so it’s super graphic and pulls zero punches when it comes to descriptions of sex and gore. I don’t blame you if you want to steer clear, but for Mitchell this a . . . .
Oh 2020 – So far you’ve delivered a pandemic, swarms of locusts and murder hornets, cycloFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Oh 2020 – So far you’ve delivered a pandemic, swarms of locusts and murder hornets, cyclones, hurricanes (even a surprise July tornado a few miles North of me last week here in flyover country that had the sirens blaring), raging wildfires, social uprising, deaths of more than a handful of beloved famous people, etc., etc., etc. You’ve been a trial for sure . . . .
Sad as it may sound, Stephenie Meyer having a rethink about releasing the ol’ Midnight Sun may be just what a lot of us needed right now. I’m not going to bother discussing literary merit or writing ability generically, nor will I be opining on the “toxicity” of a fictional relationship between a Sparkle Vampire and a Mary Sue (I just know as an old lady my supernatural books tend to have a lot more penetration than these children’s novels). Hell, I’m not even going to rate it because *spoiler alert: Edward was sooooooo boring in this and Goodreads does not have negative stars* All I know is I was absolutely compelled to be a completionist of this series, saved a gift card from Mother’s Day until August just so I could get my hands on it the day it released without any guilty conscience whatsoever and that it sucked two entire days of my life up in a time where the minutes drag on like years. It did exactly what it was supposed to do.
I would loooooooooooooooooooove to read New Moon from Jacob’s perspective next . . . .
And zero fucks are given. I am #twihard #twitard #twimom #teamjacob4eva #loser whatever other lame hashtags someone wants to throw at me and I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie for this release.
This morning I woke up to a direct message from my favorite book pusher telling me to go try and get Grady Hendrix’s upcoming release. Then I realizedThis morning I woke up to a direct message from my favorite book pusher telling me to go try and get Grady Hendrix’s upcoming release. Then I realized I hadn’t even reviewed this one, so if my twelve percent review ratio wasn’t enough to seal my fate for a rejection, this probably would be. And why the eff haven’t I reviewed this yet? It was EVERYTHING that I wanted from a book with a title like this . . . .
Okay, so obviously this was a “you had me at hello” situation because DUH what else could possibly come to mind when casting a Southern book club in my head but these gals . . . . .
Or that these gals gathered around to not read Pulitzer winners, but instead opted for trashy true crime to go with their wine which was exactly the type of book club I would like to be a part of . . . . .
“If you’re looking for a story about nice people doing nice things, this isn’t for yoFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
“If you’re looking for a story about nice people doing nice things, this isn’t for you.”
Or if you’re more into the sparkly types of vampires (trust me no hate here – even though I am #teamjacob), this probably isn’t for you either. Buuuuuuuuut, if you have been following me and the Great ‘Salem’s Lot Wrongread of 2019 . . . .
And yes, that’s a real thing. Unfortunately, I work with losers so no one got the joke, but I was informed the following probably wasn’t appropriate for the Annual Ugly Sweater Contest and I had to get a back-up . . . .
The story here is narrated by young (sorta) Joseph. Turned at 14, Joey has made his tenure as a vampire successful by posing as a lost wittle soccer player some of the time and charming the pants (sometimes quite literally) as someone a bit older (therefore less child rapey) the remainder. But his favorite method of passing the time, while simultaneously filling his belly, is when he drops in on the Baker family every Tuesday night at 9:30 where they all gather around the tube to watch their favorite show . . . .
Did I fail to mention this story takes place in 1978? Whoops. Well, it does. In the best way possible too. You don’t get beaten over the head (like me going Gangnam Style on that poor horse above), but are reminded ocassionally in the best possible way. Like 13 cent Valley Forge stamps was the preferred method to send correspondence (eeek, written letters – DARK AGES!), the hottest new release in fiction was The Thorn Birds (be still my blaspheming Father Ralph lovin’ heart), the end all be all place to be on a Friday night was . . . .
“Just thinking about sticking my nose in that big, honey-colored shag of hair on Robert Plant made me pop a boner. A really hard, uncomfortable one, and in my tight jeans, too. I tried to pretend it was for the foxy, spaced-out Mexican girl hip-grinding near me in her midriff shirt and turquoise rings, slinky and stinking of patchouli, but no dice. My dead pecker was hard for Robert Plant.”
Joseph lives in the depths of the subway tunnels with fellow vamps Margaret, Old Boy, Baldy, Luna, Ruth, Cvetko and Billy Bang – but there are some new kids in town known as the Penny Dreadfuls . . . .
They are H.U.N.G.R.Y - and something’s gonna have to be done about them . . . .
“I have always felt that whoever turns anyone less than thirteen needs to be taken sunbathing.”
This had something for every horror lover. Gore, great characters, humor, action, ORIGIN STORY (that’s like seeing a fucking unicorn in real life), and on and on and on. 4 Solid Stars – maybe even 4.5....more
I did it!!!!! This book has been my Halloween “white whale.” I am not lying when I saw I’ve checked it out from the library for a minimum o
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I did it!!!!! This book has been my Halloween “white whale.” I am not lying when I saw I’ve checked it out from the library for a minimum of five years in a row (but I think it’s actually been more than that) and then returned it annually without even cracking the spine. I think a combo of mixed reviews from friends and the daunting page count was what kept me away. Now that I’ve finished I could kick myself for not tackling it sooner.
The story here is about young Jeffrey Dahmer Oskar. Bullied severely in school, Oskar fantasizes himself into the role of Murderer where he will seek vengeance on all who have been cruel to him. When Eli moves in next door, things begin to look up and Oskar finds a friend. But all is not what is seems with Eli or their “father” . . . .
I’m not exactly sure how to label this one. My brain wants to call it a “literary vampire tale,” but the writing isn’t particularly literary – it’s more the feeling. Let the Right One In (or Let Me In depending what version you can get a hold of) is a slow burn type of horror that is not only about young Oskar and (not-so-young-at-all) Eli, but also about several other characters who are seemingly unconnected . . . until they are. It not only tackles the aforementioned bullying, but also the spectrum between over protective parenting to neglectful, alcoholism, pedophilia and oh so much gory vampiring.
Four Stars and highly recommended (and thank heavens it finally is getting a re-release with a decent cover!)....more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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