I realize I am one of the very few dissenters in the ranks, but the book says it all . . .
“Worst hostages ever. You’re the worst hostages ever.”
So the whole premise here is about a failed bank robbery and how said bank robber ends up with the worst hostages ever and it all takes place after the hostage crisis has been averted and the would-be robber has become MIA and it’s all six degrees of separation and somehow also is about a super serious subject like suicide and it all gets delivered in a quirky little package full of obtuse police interviews and absurdities like giant rabbits and piles of blood that need to be accounted for and things that are supposed to make you feel all of the feelz that gets tied up with a pretty little bow of “awwwwwwww” at the end and OH. MY. GOD. IT. WAS. EXHAUSTING.
I loved Ove. And I mean looooooooooooooooooooooooved. Almost unhealthily. Like there’s a 12% chance it might come to fisticuffs after I tell you to “cash me outside - how 'bout dah” if you tell me you hated it and I’m having a bad day. But after failing at yet another Backman new release that I was highly anticipating I need to admit he is just not for me. There’s nothing wrong with being a one-hit wonder. Karens all over the world can attest to that fact with their favorite sing-along . . . .
Carol is “dead” – her evil husband (who was TOTALLY Justin LaMonte in my brain). Sidenote (yes already a sidenote): Do y’all know who Justin Lamonte is? Probably not because you’re not ancient, but if you too are old you might remember him as a super douchebag from North and South . . . .
Anyway, Justin Lamonte Dwight wants to get Carol in the dirt stat so he can have all of her dollah dollah bills yo. Buuuuuuuuut he’s in a race against time as Carol’s former beau was sent a telegram regarding her “death” and is coming to save the day – which again made my brain take a trip on the wayback machine and James Moxie was all Jessie from Kathleen Turner’s novels in Romancing the Stone . . . . .
Would the maid really notify this long-lost love that Carol told her about for like two seconds before eating the dirt and falling into one of her spells/comas/narcoleptic limbos that Carol was dead???? Probably not, but she has to here or there’s zero book.
And that’s my problem with most of the book. Ideas that weren’t fully thought out, characters who REALLY weren’t fully fleshed out and a synopsis that was way more interesting than the end result turned out to be left me feeling seriously meh throughout my entire reading experience. I should have known this might be a miss for me after not only having a bit of a rough go of it with Black Mad Wheel, or as I like to call it . . . .
Unbury Carol did not end up being the book for me, but Josh Malerman definitely knows how to words good so as soon as I see his name again I’m sure my reaction will be . . . .
Head’s up for any of you who are thinking this is going to be a horror: Prepare yourself because it sure as pig shit isn’t. And speaking of all the talk about pig shit, Mitchell has this to say about that . . . .
For maybe the second time in the history of Goodreads, I'm changing my initial rating of a book and floating my review. I don't really give a shit if you don't like this book - I liked it enough for everyone. I liked it so much that I constantly think about it whenever I hear a creepy noise in the dark or think how terrifying it would be if I had to face potential superbadawfuls blindfolded while walking to the creek behind my house for drinking water and I find myself continually recommending it to anyone who asks me for a creepy read. So, there you have it. #bump #promiseIwon'tmakeahabitofthis #becauseitmakesmewanttokillpeople #readmorebumpless #devilhorns
I hope not, ‘cause that’s how you’re going to be living out the rest of your days. The world as we knew it no longer exists. First, the people started dying – then the internet, phones, power, and water systems all went down. Then we all learned to barricade our doors, cover our windows, and stop going outside except when absolutely necessary. Of course, when obtaining water means venturing down to the creek behind your house – you find yourself outside A LOT. No matter what you do, you must wear your blindfold and never look at what is waiting outside your doors . . .
Malorie has lived this lifestyle for years and has raised her children the same way. Always blindfolded, always terrified, always knowing there is something waiting outside. Until one day, it was no longer outside . . .
Now Malorie and the children must risk everything in order to make it to a potential safe haven that may or may not exist.
Bird Box is the embodiment of a psychological horror – because all the horror you experience is going to be created in your own head. You will (literally) never be able to see the bad guy coming . . . because the characters remain blindfolded the entire book. Any time you find yourself losing your shit, it will be because your brain thinks it is hilarious to f*&^ around with you.
Per usual, the only thing I knew about this book before starting was that a lot of people were reading it all of a sudden. What do I think now that I’m finished??? What a debut! So many times I find the “super bad awful” in horror novels to be extremely lackluster, so I found never knowing who (or what) the transgressor might be to be a very effective approach. My brain kept telling me that everyONE and everyTHING was the bad guy and I found myself on the edge of my seat during several pivotal scenes. I look forward to reading more by Josh Malerman....more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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Books:
one-hit-wonders
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