Yep. I’m still 30th in line at the non-porny library (and yes I just removed this request – I’m an old lady and forget these things sometimes).
Since this is a mystery you’re going to get an even crappier review than I normally barf out. The basic premise of The Couple Next Door is that Marco and Anne’s babysitter cancelled at the last minute due to a family emergency, leaving the couple all dressed up with nosomewhere to go. Not willing to let a new baby cramp their style, the two decide to leave the baby monitor as babysitter and a promise to rotate shifts every 30 minutes in order to make sure said baby is okay so they can still go next door for dinner and draaaaaaaaanks . . . .
Save your breath if you feel the need to tell me how horrible I am for judging this couple because #1 I know I’m horrible, #2 it’s a book so calm yo tits, and #3 I would still judge these a-holes the same if it was real life and I give zero shits.
So anywho, Anne and Marco return home around 1:30 a.m. to find their door partially open and zero baby in the house. I was a bit worried for a minute when the detective showed up because Anne’s reaction was. . . .
“When a child goes missing, are the parents usually the prime suspects? Surely not.”
But luckily the detective was not a dummkopf and he totally thought they offed their own kid.
I will say I didn’t like the direction of everyone thinking “time was running out” in order to find the baby alive. Obviously I’m not an expert, but I am a geezer and every time a baby kidnapping story has been on the news for the past 412 years it’s been some crazy bitch who stole it in order to raise as her own who was the culprit. Murder doesn’t usually seem to be the M.O. in those cases. But I’m probably wrong.
Bottom line is this was like watching a decent movie on this channel . . . .
Let me begin by stating how refreshing it is to have one of these super smart joFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
Let me begin by stating how refreshing it is to have one of these super smart journals actually embrace the term science on behalf of all of us pervsresearchers. Mmmmmmmmm . . . .
Let me also state that if you are looking for a super sciencey type of story you will most definitely end up suffering from quite the case of caeruleus cōleī (that’s blue balls for all of you imbeciles who don't speak Latin) because these sumbitches don’t get down to business until pretty much the last page.
Beard Science is the story of the brother known as Cletus Winston. In the first book of the series Cletus proved that . . . .
Due to a first world problem the porny librarian failed to obtain a copy of #2 thus forcing me to skip that volume and read this instead because SEVEN DOLLARS???? I’m way too poor to spend more than a couple of bucks on porn. Also, I don’t have Kindle Unlimited so save your breath and yes I do bitch about the price of books because in case you haven’t yet heard from the masses I’m . . . .
Don't get me wrong. Authors can ask whatever amount they like. I just know I can’t in good faith end up taking $7 multiplied by however many books this ends up with (because even though there are only 6 brothers there’s also been two of the love interests’ brothers introduced that could easily spawn more stories).
Anyway, back to the book. Cletus is quick to become a fan favorite because he’s smart, funny and a little bit sneaky. For some reason my brain kept telling me he looked like this, though . . . . .
And I didn’t much want to make any of the sexuals with him until I started this book and he reiterated the fact that he was a bushy bearded curly headed blonde enough that finally I recast him . . . .
[image]
(Don’t talk shit about McConaugheyyyyyyy-hooooo heyyyyyy hooooo either because he still makes my panties drop.)
There was also the problem with the leading lady Jennifer the “Banana Cake Queen” . . . .
Again, in #1 she was merely a blip on the radar screen, but she was enough that I wanted to swat her like a fly out of the series before she could become a main character. Obviously that didn’t happen and sadly my opinion of her didn’t much change. Although an attempt was made at giving her a redemption arc, for 99.99999% of the book she was a bit of a moron and a total pushover. I just couldn’t ever be friends with that girl. (Again, I’m the worst.)
So the story is that Jennifer thinks she needs to land a husband and start popping out babies in order to get out from under her parents thumbs. In order to do so she blackmails enlists the help of Cletus. Cletus will teach her how to interact with other humans in a non-creepy way in order for Jennifer to land the man of her dreams. In reality it probably goes without saying Cletus ends up falling in love with Jennifer himself and does everything in his power in order to sabotage the attempts of any potential suitors to woo the lovely Banana Cake Queen. Fastforward to the end and, to quote the modern-day masterpiece which is Sixteen Candles: Then they “do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes.” Well definitely not herpes. Since this followed nearly every lesson taught in How To Make A Romance Novel 101 and one of the Winston brothers already proved he was spurtin’ some serious swimmers she probably got pregnant the first time they had sex.
I’m giving this one 3.5 (Me = Worst), but please note I thought it was tons of fun and I’m completely enamored with these Winston boys. I am nearly positive I’ll end up reading this entire series (and probably even fork over my nickels and dimes if need be). Obviously I’m desperate for the final book about Billy because . . . .
First we have to get Beau’s story out of the way, though. Since it’s pretty obvious Shelly is on the spectrum I’m crossing my fingers Ms. Reid doesn’t suffer the wrath of the triggered once it is released : (
Where do I even begin?????? Let me start by saying even though I am a horrible old wretch, I really thought I would enjoy this and was super pissed at NetGalley for denying me the ARC . . . .
(^^^^There’s some good troll bait, right there. To clear things up - no, I don’t think I’m anything special, but yes I do want to get approved for all the ARCs.)
Anyway, I was kind of a fan of Everything Everything and requested this immediately without even reading the synopsis due to the author’s name alone. Also note I drink the Kool-Aid of the Green and Levithan by the gallon (and I just 4 Starred a YA romance earlier this week) so it’s not like I was smoking crack thinking I would love this too. But sadly love it I did not . . . .
Since I hadn’t spoiled myself of what The Sun Is Also A Star was about before starting I didn’t know this would be the insta-loviest tale that ever insta-loved. You see, this is the story of Natasha and Daniel and 12 hours they spent together. To put it bluntly, Natasha’s family . . . .
“are undocumented immigrants, and we're being deported tonight.”
Natasha is on her way to throw one last hail mary pass in order to keep her family in ‘Murica (illegally by way of “good” social security cards which means cards “with actual stolen numbers printed on it instead of fake ones” because let’s make sure to really make Kelly feel like an effing Alt-Right Movement member since I can’t really cheer for a family of identity thieves).
Daniel is on his way to a college interview in order to live up to his family's expectations. When his train shuts down and the conductor instructs the passengers they should maybe find God, followed by Daniel seeing a girl with a “DEUS EX MACHINA” (or “God From the Machine” for those not familiar) backpack he thinks it’s a sign. And let the instalove commence . . . . .
“There's a Japanese phrase that I like: koi no yokan. It doesn't mean love at first sight. It's closer to love at second sight. It's the feeling when you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don't love them right away, but it's inevitable that you will.”
(In this case koi no yokan = soulmates within half a day.)
I’ve read some contrived stories in my time, but this one takes the cake. This thing was absolutely ridiculous (™Ron2.0) and I’m amazed I didn’t concuss myself with all of the rolling of the eyes into the back of my brain. Everyone else loved it, though, so just chalk this as another fail for Kelly due to the fact that . . . . .
Holy poop I’m really far behind on reviewing. And you know what’s awesome? All the librarFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Holy poop I’m really far behind on reviewing. And you know what’s awesome? All the library books I read while on Christmas vacay are now disappearing from my Kindle making my notes go “poof” . . . . .
(Hey Goodreads, why don’t you figure out how to make your super not awesome feature of Kindle note sharing work for library books instead of just shit I had to buy on Amazon. Kthanks!)
Anyway, like I said I’m really far behind, I read this nearly two weeks ago and I am senile so I don’t have any quotey quotes to share. You’ll just have to trust me that the dialogue on this was pretty decent and there were some quotables.
Shelby (Ha! I totally got to link one of your “I lurved it, it was gud” reviews LOLOLOLOL) has been telling me to read Karen Slaughter until she’s blue in the face, but I’m a jerkoff so I ignored her. (Really I was a little terrified I would hate it and then she would cut me.) Good news is, I didn’t hate it at all. And to Karen Slaughter . . . .
At the risk of sounding sexist against my own fairer sex, I never cease to be amazed by women authors who are willing to take things to an uncomfortable level with zero shits given. Caroline Kepnes did it with an anti-hero you just couldn’t stop yourself from falling in love with, Ania Ahlborn does it with horror and Karen Slaughter does it with crime fiction.
The story here is about dead women in Atlanta whose murders may be connected. “May” being the operative word due to the fact that they don’t fit the typical serial killer scenario since they are of different ages and socioeconomic backgrounds. They all have something in common, however, that is a potential link – their tongues have been bitten off. Makes you hungry, right????
Detective Michael Ormewood has been assigned the latest case when a fella named Will Trent enters the scene offering to help. Then things get a little cray and you get to find out just how intricate a spider web Karen Slaughter is capable of weaving together.
So like I said, I’m officially a Karen Slaughter fangirl now. I had my doubts after reading Pretty Girls, but I’m going to trust Shelby and say that one was just a fluke. Now, Slaughter does have her moments and this was a real Stephen King in need of leaving some pages on the cutting room floor, but other than those times where I was screaming . . . .
1. Will Trent. J.K. Rowling did it with Cormoran Strike and Karen Slaughter did it with Will Trent. Instead of some super hot supersleuth, Will kind of resembles this guy . . . .
He’s not pretty. He’s also seriously effing broken and you’ll totally fall in love with him (if you’re smart it will be a not-sexy way because Shelby called dibs a long time ago).
2. Speaking of broken, meet the female lead in this series Angie Polaski. As a future Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame inductee once said . . . .
She’s seriously punchable and also a little awesome.
3. The change in perspective. I didn’t expect the narrator to change and it threw me for a loop for a bit, but boy was that a good idea.
4. Knowing the “whodunit” early. I love a good mystery that confirms your suspicions early and allows you to sit back and enjoy the ride while the characters play catch up.
If you’re a fan of crime thrillers, this is an author to definitely check out.
Ever since Alice was a little girl she’s been accompanied by Max in her dreams. Whether scuba diving around an old pirate ship or floating down a milk river on Cinnamon Toast Crunch rafts, Max has always been by her side. As much as Alice wishes Max was a part her real life, each morning when she wakes . . . .
That is until she starts a new school and Max walks into her classroom. Strange things begin to happen the more Alice gets to know the real life Max making her question is this the real life or is it just fantasy????
I appreciated the attempt at a fresh spin on a love story, and the “knowing each other in dreams” made Alice’s instalove not quite so barfable, but it still wasn’t great. And the love interest himself?????? Ugh. Super Douche Cheatie McCheater Pants who deserved a big fat kick in the nutsack for being so effing wishy-washy. Get your shit together!
I realize I’m soooooooo not the right demographic for this one and for any of you parents who may be wondering it's (in my opinion, which let’s face it is pretty warped and disturbing so you might not want to listen) perfectly benign and fine for the teenie bopper set to read if they are looking for fluffy good times with a happily-ever-after tied up in a pretty red bow. However, since I’m a geezer I was hoping Alice would have a miraculous wake-up call and see . . . .
And now my only fear is that somehow I’ll forget to unclick that “share on Facebook” button and all my family will see that I’m a disgusting pervert.
It Ain’t Me, Babe is definitely not for everyone. As with most naughty books, you have to be able to leave your reality at the door – and I mean REALLY leave it at the door. This story is about Mae – a woman who had an unconventional upbringing . . . .
Mae runs away from the commune where she was raised on her wedding day. When she is discovered bleeding and half dead behind the Hades Hangmen’s clubhouse, club President Styx recognizes her from a chance meeting through a fence when they were just children. You know what that means, right? Instalove!!! And also a peen like no other that will help Mae forget all about her rapey past . . . .
Like I said, you have to be ready for the full blown motorbike porn experience to the nth degree with this one. But really, all of these stories are totally OTT so there’s not a point of no return that I can think of with regard to what plotline crosses the line to “not okay” territory. I mean hell, let’s start with the bikers. All us horny geezers get a pretty clear image in our head of what we hope to be reading about . . . .
I was raised by a member of a motorcycle club. Not only do they not do stuff like run guns or drugs (rather they do things like Poker Runs for charity and are a "club" in the sense that they hang out in one dude's garage every week/month and drink beers), but trust me when I say NO ONE looked like Jax. A lot of them looked like Bobby Munson, however . . . .
With a twist even! It helped me overlook some of the stuff that squicks me out bigly – like talk about chicks who really know how to “milk” a dude . . . . .
"This man was once my salvation. Now he will be my ruin."
Well, this was quite the delightful little surprise. I put this on my TBR because Tarryn Fisher said to one day on her Facebook page. Do you know Tarryn Fisher????
She recently got engaged which is unfortunate as it deters my plan of marrying her one day – especially when she said she decorates her Christmas tree before Thanksgiving just like me. Soulmates . . . .
As I said, Tarryn Fisher said to read this so I immediately went to the library to request a copy. Even the porny librarian can’t bat 1,000, however, and this selection was not available. I ended up with Ten Tiny Breaths instead and a severe case of underwhelment upon finishing. Then my book bestie came to save the day and gifted me a copy of the thing I actually wanted in the first place. In order to show my gratitude I waited several months before bothering to read it because as a wise man once said “♪♫♪I’m an asshooooooooooo-oooole♪♫♪”. . . .
He Will Be My Ruin is about Maggie, a trust fund baby turned philanthropist who is assigned the task of clearing out her bestie Celine’s apartment after Celine’s apparent suicide. But the more Maggie starts digging around Celine’s belongings, the more secrets she discovers leading her to believe maybe it wasn’t a suicide at all.
So this was a mystery with a lil’ extra summin’ summin’ . . . . .
Obviously it wasn’t believable at all. In fact, Ron 2.0 some might say it was ridiculous, but it worked just fine for me. It read fast, it wasn’t overly written and “purply,” you knew right away you were limited to one of two potential bad guys (and I would have been completely satisfied had the story gone in either direction). Really, aside from a very awkward elevator scene . . . .
(I mean, that part was just S.T.U.P.I.D. What are the chances of anyone other than myself thinking the cure to a claustrophobia induced panic attack in a stuck elevator is magic penis?????)
Other than that this was definitely a satisfactory contribution to the stabby porn collection. The author should definitely write more stuff like this. Until then I’ll just wait outside Tarryn Fisher’s houseimpatiently for . . . .
Before I even begin, let me say one thing: SOMEONE BUY THE RIGHTS TO THIS IMMEDIATELY ANDFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Before I even begin, let me say one thing: SOMEONE BUY THE RIGHTS TO THIS IMMEDIATELY AND MAKE IT INTO A MOVIE! I swear to the good lort above it will be a blockbuster.
The Hating Game is about Lucy and Joshua (bonus points for having actual human names and proving right away this wasn’t going to be some kind of crappy angst-fest). When the publishing houses the two worked for were forced into merger it left not one but two CEOs, neither of which wanted to lose their executive assistant. That means every day arch enemies Lucy and Josh are forced to sit directly across from the other, picking apart every little thing about the other that drives them insane. You know what that means, right?????
So here’s the deal, I’m pretty sure this was a Goodreads “recommended to me” spam suggestion that finally won me over after popping up on my feed for weeks on end. By the time I requested it from the library (and saw Bonnie’s review the very next day), the waiting list was long enough to make me rant about it. (See below for further crybaby details.) My hopes were so high that I was terrified things would go horribly. On Saturday I shoved gently got my children on their way to various sports practices and sat down with a cup of Joe prepared for disappointment. What happened instead was I read the entire thing cover to cover and thanked the tiny 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus for my alone time because . . . .
At this point I think my husband has been slipping me some kind of happy pill because I have been enjoying nearly everything I’ve read the past month or so. Such is the case with The Hating Game. I loved this one so much I don’t even know what to say about it. This story had me right from the start with leading man Josh being eleventy feet tall compared to Lucy’s five feet nothing. And even though Lucy was described as dark haired, I couldn’t get this image out of my head . . .
Because I already saw that movie once and I loved it.
This entire book was the most adorable thing I’ve maybe ever read. From Lucy and Josh hating each other, to the elevator moment when you find out maybe they don’t, to Lucy’s inability to contain herself and therefore morphs into a crazy almost rapey spidermonkey trying to lure Josh into doing the nasty . . . .
“I was hoping you’d participate more.
“I’d participate. So well, you wouldn’t walk straight the next day.”
“That’s okay, walking is overrated.”
To the two eventually falling in luuuuurrrrrrrv . . . . .
“You sure are good at holding hands.”
“I’m probably not good at a lot of things, but I will try to be.”
This was everything I wanted it to be and more. My poor little heart. It can’t take it!
I don’t know what else to say. If you’re someone who occasionally likes to hear about someone who wants to be a man who has been to a concert with a girl in a red dress. Just for a few minutes more . . . .
Sally Thorne, if you can see this, please know I am in love with your book. This is the best romance I read in 2016 and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next. Normally when I’m gifted something from a book fairy, I pay it forward. Sorry suckas – not this time. I am going to read this overandoverandoverandoverandover again until it falls apart.
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
Here’s a little story about how one day I was airing out my enormous first world problem of being FORTY-SOMETHINGTH on the library waiting list for this book (completely unacceptable – either people need to stop wanting to read the same things I want to read or the librarian needs to bump me ahead of everyone else) when a certain someone casually stated, “oh I won that on a Goodreads giveaway – I just haven’t ever got around to reading it.” Then I called her foul names and declared her part of the conspiracy theory to keep me from actually reading the stuff on my TBR that I want to read. Fast forward a couple of weeks to the mailroom guy delivering me a little package containing . . . .
I’m sorry I called you names in my fit of jealousy, Shelby. You are the best thing that ever came from me joining this silly site of misfits – even when you don’t send me free stuff : )
Thanks to the new and improved Overdrive when I go to the library website looking for somFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Thanks to the new and improved Overdrive when I go to the library website looking for some porn super smart scientific journals that aren’t part of the current catalog I have the option of not only one-clicking a “yes, please buy me that smut because I am poor” button, but I also get to see the recommended-to-me-available-for-request smut. Hence the reason this first Winston Brothers book ended up on my Kindle. Let’s be honest, it didn’t take much convincing other than the title and cover. After all . . . .
I started reading this when things got real slow at work right before closing time (because classy and also should be employee of the year). At 2% there was a “Piggly Wiggly” reference and I knew I was in it to win it because . . . .
Ouch. Harsh, Regina George. I was going to say because I am a cheap sell and trigger words like “Piggly Wiggly” (or “road trip”) translate instantly to more Starzzzzzzzzz. Anyway, not only was there the talk of the Wiggly of the Piggly, but there was also a case of mistaken identity and our leading lady (who has returned to town to be the local calculus teacher) believing one twin to be her lifelong crush leading to . . . .
“I’d given him a penis stroke under false pretenses.”
The above happened at about the 15% mark, which is where I left off for the night. I’d allow my husband to tell you how much he enjoyed my reading up to that point, but . . . .
I will say he’s lucky he cashed in on his golden ticket early because while I thought this was going to be nothing but nonstop banging, things took a turn and . . . .
Turns out our leading male was of the sensitive variety and was looking for a happily ever after rather than just a quick trip to Pound Town. But that was okay, because this story was freaking adorable. First there was a bit of the love/hate stuff . . . .
“I hope you wander into a hornet’s nest and die of an acetylcholine overdose,” I spat.
“You say the prettiest things.”
Then there was Jessica’s internal voice which was hilarious and also featured a running soundtrack consisting of things like Paula Abdul’s “Rush Rush.” Remember that song? Man, Keanu Reeves. I probably humped the ol’ pilla a time or twelve thinking about that video . . . .
There was also a little sideplot featuring a motorcycle gang and a blackmail scheme to make you feel like you’re reading something a little better than Alexa Riley pure pornography.
I put myself on the wait list immediately for the other Winston Brothers book the library already had – and then found out it’s #3 instead of #2 . . . .
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PORNY LIBRARIAN! And also Penny Reid – we all fucking want Billy’s story. By the time Book 6 rolls around I’ll be over this series and all of its will they or won’t they and too many pages for not enough story and definitely not enough smushsmush and I’ll be ready to murder the entire Winston family. GIVE US BILLY NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ...more
Welcome to Cork – a town in Ireland ran by local mob boss Jimmy. Cork is also where JimmyFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Welcome to Cork – a town in Ireland ran by local mob boss Jimmy. Cork is also where Jimmy’s birth mother Maureen lives and she’s just had an . . . uhhhhhh unfortunate interaction with an intruder. Luckily Jimmy is a problem-solver and calls on a favor of local drunk Tony. Tony gets more than he bargained for when the “favor” ends up being not only body disposal, but also a body he recognized – fellow boozer and pimp Robbie. All goes smoothly until Robbie’s girlfriend/“employee”/dope fiend comes sniffing around Maureen’s place (which used to be the brothel) hoping someone has seen Robbie because he was also her drug connection. Which brings us to our last main character Ryan – Tony’s 15 year old son who happens to be a real up-and-comer in the drug trade. Find out what happens when all of these worlds collide on the next episode of . . . .
Are any of you even old enough to remember Soap???? Probably not. You’ll just have to trust that my little blurb above combined with that joke is fecking brilliant ; )
With a title that made me go hmmmmmm and a cover that made the reformed Catholic in me want to jump all over, I just didn’t think it would be worth climbing over Mount Library Book anytime soon. Normally I hate when books or authors are compared to others, but it’s only because the people who make the comparisons appear to be inbred illiterate hillbillies who think everything is “the next Gone Girl”. That being said, I’m going to make my own comparison: If The Goldfinch was one of your top reads, The Glorious Heresies might be the book for you. Bonus is that it only contains half the pages!
Lisa McInerney’s ability to develop this ensemble cast – let alone tackling the task of taking a young man through his oh-so-very-unpleasant coming of age is simply remarkable. As much guff as is presented on the interwebs that “men and women are the same and writers should be able to write the opposite sex” that is simply not true. McInerney has, indeed, done what Kepnes and Tartt have done in the past with these male characters and she should be praised for it. She also should be praised for my current state . . . .
This is hands down the best book I’ve read this year. You heard me right, it’s getting top honors when I do my yearly wrap-up. It’d be great if I had some real doozies for quotes I could share in order to show you how brilliant this was, but even though I have a shitton of highlights on my Kindle, they all amount to things like this . . . .
“You don’t know your own strength till you need it.”
“How do you build a life from bones?”
“There was something beautiful here once.”
“Nothing cleansing as fire.”
As you can see, none of the above means diddly squat unless you read the book. Sooooooo, in order to prove just how serious I am about this being as good as I think it is I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m recommending it to Ron 2.0. For the first time ever I think I’ve found something that can pass his ridiculous™ meter . . . .
THIS. BOOK. Wow. I’m going to jump right in with some seriously harsh truth in order for Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
THIS. BOOK. Wow. I’m going to jump right in with some seriously harsh truth in order for you all to determine whether you want to read this or not. In case we haven’t yet met, here’s something you should know about me . . . .
At the risk of offending a big pile of you, I’ve come to realize that 99.999999% of the time that statement means you’re looking for something like this . . . . .
Think I’m kidding? The book opens with the leading male walking in to the room where he’ll be receiving a lethal injection and the leading lady in the witness area to watch the whole thing go down. Yeah kids, this one ain’t pussyfootin’ around and don’t even think about a happily ever after – or a happily ever beginning or middle for that matter.
I’m not going to say a whole lot because the shock and awe factor are definitely what made it awesome. All I’m going to give you is that Nine Minutes is about a 15 year old girl who gets kidnapped by a member of the Satan’s Army motorcycle gang, is presented to the club President as a thank-you gift and follows years and years of their life together. It’s not for the faint of heart and the male lead is most definitely a super bad bad guy and he most definitely does not have a problem breaking nearly every moral code known to man and you might find yourself asking Jesus if it’s really okay for you to be enjoying something so dark and gritty so much, but if your Jesus is like mine he’ll be like “bitch move over and share some of that popcorn ‘cuz this mah fah is guuuuuuuuud” . . . . .
[image]
(^^^I’m well aware I’m going to Hell for that. I’ll save y’all good seats.)
I’m not going to say much more than that except this is a story that proves once again . . . .
Seriously had no clue that was coming until it was barreling up my ass.
I would have NEVER read this if it weren’t for logging on to Goodreads on Saturday morning and seeing a private message from Shelby telling me it was free (as of 12/5/16 is still is – if you’re brave enough go get it HERE). The reason I wouldn’t have given it a second glance???? The cover . . . .
Let’s be real honest – lots of us totally judge a book by its cover and this one just screams “self-pubbed speshul snowflake that the author will troll you for reading wrong when you hate it.” I can’t promise you won’t get trolled if you read it wrong, but it will probably be by me, Shelby and Val instead of the author. And speaking of Val. WTF Val?!?!?!?! Why didn’t you recommend THIS to me when I was reading errrrrrry motorcycle book????? This is sooooooooooooooooo much more my idea of a good time than the hide the salami selections I spiraled out of control reading.
Running around the office showing anyone who I thought would appreciate it (which – let’s be honest – I work with a bunch of attorneys so only like three people were able to appreciate it).
All of you super intricate adult coloring book aficionados might find yourself a bit disappointed in this selection, but it’s a must-have for any David Bowie fan. This retrospective covers the many faces of Bowie – from vinyl suits . . . .
Like most niche items, the price point is a little steep at $16.00 retail, but this book is seriously cool with a cover that makes you think of an album and informative descriptors on each page regarding the origins of Bowie’s influential styles. It would make a GREAT Christmas gift . . . .
And while I didn’t hate it, Sugar Free did prove the point I beat like a dead horse that a book series always disappoints. This could have easily been wrapped up in one long-ish book (maybe two max), but after the cliffhanger on Sugar Rush there was no way I could skip this final installment . . . .
Well, I could have if it would have cost me any dollars, but luckily the Porny Librarian came through once again to save the day. Porny Librarian you are my favorite superhero! Okay, second favorite. Jean Grey is pretty kick ass . . . .
Aside from lack of content needed to fill the pages, this one really disappointed when it came to the stabby too. When the entire premise of the plot is a woman who was brutally victimized promising to “infiltrate, murder, repeat” until all three of her attackers are gone that’s what I expect to read about. Instead we had the two main characters left with a lot to figure out, but every time they were supposed to sit down and talk about things it ended up with . . . .
All that was missing was the farting unicorn. Again, happily-ever-afters have their place in the world, but not necessarily in a book like this. And really let’s be honest. There’s only one perfect relationship I know of so everything else pales in comparison . . . .
I told y’all yesterday that Shelby is the reason behind all of my recent NetGalley requests (because my library addiction has become so hardcore that I am at a constant state of maxed-out checkouts and I have grounded myself from there). Normally she just uses simple catchphrases like “meth” to get my ears to perk up. This is the only time I can remember her TELLING me to go get a book without providing any info other than she knew I would love it. She was right.
Thompson is your average “scrawny AP class nerd who played NBA Live instead of real basketball.” The CW (not like the television channel – originally it stood for Caroline Wells, but after the Worst Valentine’s Day In History™ the C “stood for Cheating. The W stood for a word most guys would use to describe the girl who cheated on them.”) was the first and only girl Thompson had “come to know in the Biblical sense” and therefore was the one he couldn’t get out of his head. Faced with the option of driving by the CW’s house for the eleventeeth time or crossing his fingers for a potential meet/cute, Thompson takes door #2 and goes to the local Tiki House on Elvis night (the CW’s favorite). Rather than seeing his former flame, Thompson instead discovers Johnny Lee Young . . . .
An Elvis impersonator so perfect the panties be nearly droppin’ right on the Tiki House floor. When Johnny Lee offers up his personal rendition of “Hurt” . . . .
(Sidenote: I wasn’t familiar with this song – which you can listen to HERE – so my brain kept replacing it with this instead . . . .
And then I couldn’t get the image of Johnny Lee as a Johnny Cash impersonator out of my head because I am an idiot and my brain hates me. /End Sidenote)
Thompson knows he and Johnny Lee are kindred spirits who have both experienced the pain of losing the love of their life. As Thompson settles in as Johnny Lee’s #1 fan an opportunity arises in the form of an assistant position for the summer. And as Thompson learns about the girl Johnny Lee let get away another opportunity arises – travel from Hawaii to the mainland and stop her wedding . . . .
If you know me you know the road trip is my most favorite storyline of all. This one topped the charts because the destination was Chicago where the two fellas went to places like the Art Institute which made me think of . . . .
Do you just want a book that makes you feel happy? One that won’t change your life and that you might not even remember after some time passes, but makes you go from your usual this . . . .
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(^^^Remember, I read this during "No Shave November.")
It’s manwhore little one. Jake is a manwhore. Jake’s idea of a good time has always been doing as little work as possible while doing as many chicks as possible. When Jake is fired from his family’s company and forced to interact with childhood friend Char leading up to his brother’s nuptials, Jake starts to think it might be time to grow up, get his shit together and maybe even find a way to get the girl.
Not really. Well . . . . maybe. Anywho, I bought this for wicked cheap in paperback from Barnes & Noble thinking it would be a definite winner since I seriously luuuuuuuuurv most everything I’ve read by this author, and her over-the-top zany romcoms generally fill the void in my cold, dead heart. The problem I had with The Wager was Jake . . . .
Jake was a character in The Bet (a book I loved). His role there was to play the disgusting manbearpig counterpart to his dreamy brother Travis in order for leading lady Kacey to clearly see who would be the better option for the long-run. Book 2 picks up with Travis and Kacey getting ready to tie the knot and Jake getting a gal for himself. But Jake is THE. WORST. so this redemption arc just didn’t work for me. The timeline was too scrunched together for him to come to terms with his assholery and I couldn’t ever let myself like anything about him.
This is going to sound super crazy, but I highly recommend reading this second book before the first . . . .
I’m serious. If I had not been aware of Jake’s backstory I think there’s a chance I could have liked him in this one. Also, there were plenty of other things to appreciate. Mainly in the form of Grandma . . . .
Chalk this one up in the “hubs didn’t get no play” column. You’d think after 20 years of marriage he’d stop relying on sexytimes books and go with the surefire method of getting me in the sack . . .
Okay I’m pissed at myself for being a big fat pile and refusing to log on to theFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
Okay I’m pissed at myself for being a big fat pile and refusing to log on to the computer in order to yack out a review before this thing expired from the library because I KNOW Maribeth provided some pretty quotable quotes that made me laugh. Oh well . . . .
Let me start this half-assery by telling you that Maribeth is not for everyone. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz so I won’t judge you if you aren’t able to enjoy her, but for me???? At this point I think she may be related to me . . . .
In case you need two hands and a map to find your own butt and haven’t figured it out yet, this is Maribeth’s story. Overworked, underappreciated, stressed out mom of (kind of awful) twins and a pretty incompetent husband, Maribeth not only brings home the bacon, but also fries it up in a pan and then cleans the entire house, runs kids to neverending extracurriculars, organizes horrible things like parents club (shudder) and strokes her hubby’s fragile ego to the point where she has a coronary. Literally. Thinking she might finally get some much needed R&R (at least for a few weeks), Maribeth is thrown for yet another loop when she gets home from the hospital and pretty much is expected to do everything except go to work after only a couple of days' rest. The solution?????
Maribeth pulls a wad of moolah she received as an inheritance out of the bank and gets the eff outta Dodge. That’ll teach ��em, right? Well, eventually. First, everyone has to learn that valuable lesson that . . . .
Leave Me earns 3.5 Stars, but gets rounded down due to the fact that the first 1/3 of the story had a very Where’d You Go, Bernadette? type of OTT vibe/humor which kind of diminished a bit as the book progressed. There was also a (view spoiler)[bit of a “cheating” issue (only a kiss, more emotionally cheating than anything) (hide spoiler)] that I thought cheapened things. I wasn’t put off by it, it just made it harder to remain committed to Team Maribeth. All in all, though, this was a very relatable story and one that I’m sure many of us harried moms have dreamed about a time or twelve. Lucky for me, my family just ran away for a few days so I was able to stay in the comfort of my own home in order to reboot. If only everyone I work for would do the same . . . .
In case you haven’t heard the word on the street, I read nearly everything wrong. Allow mFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
In case you haven’t heard the word on the street, I read nearly everything wrong. Allow me to prove the point by showing you Exhibit A of what happened on the night I planned on making something out of this cookbook . . . .
Why yes, I will take my nourishing meal with both extra gluten and dairy thank you very much. (And yes that photo was just taken yesterday and yes I know Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet and I already have three Christmas trees up and no I do not give any shits about killing baby reindeer due to my early decorating.)
I hate to give a bad rating to something I was able to obtain for free, but I believe that honesty is the best policy and to be honest there is zero chance I would have ever purchased this for myself. Bigger is not always better and just because a cookbook offers 365 recipes doesn’t make it automatically worth the money. Call me shallow, but I believe cookbooks are definitely a chance to make appearance-based judgments and a combination of this being a real inconvenient puppy-squisher in size, paperback-style cover rather than hardbound, 75 pages of info dump instead of getting down to the nomnoms and barely any photos once it was time to finally do some bidness, this just wasn’t appealing. So what were the recipes, you might ask. Well . . . . .
Believe it or not I actually kept looking even after being faced with my arch nemesis. Once again, to be perfectly honest I didn’t have a Pavlovian type of response to very many of the recipes contained in this book either. And when I did????
I discovered a recipe wasn’t even really needed. (Spoiler alert: The only thing involved with creating this is sprinkling the salmon with salt, lemon juice and tandoori seasoning and cooking it in a baking dish with ½ cup of coconut milk.) There were also quite a few simple recipes that have been done a time (or twelve) before . . . .
^^^That’s Martha Stewart’s version of a Greek salad with chickpeas because . . . . well, it’s Martha and I would maybe make a human sacrifice if it would earn me reviewer copies of her cookbooks . . . .
I’m bummed this didn’t work for me and I also understand since I don’t have dairy or gluten allergies it’s easier for me to be judgey on it, but let's get real - if I wasn’t judgey I would be much of anything at all. If this seems like something you’d be interested in, check it out . . . .
That concludes the review portion – now let’s go on a field trip.
Obviously one can’t simply get a body like mine without working extremely hard on it for years and years – carbo loading for those marathon chair sitting/reading sessions, wallowing in a gallon of ice cream because a simple bowlful just will not do. But that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of eating stuff that’s good for me. In fact, since I’ve bragged enough about the library in my fair city allow me a second to show you another one of our treasures – The River Market . . . .
“In the absence of facts, we tell ourselves stories.”
Lucky you. You get two of my reviews on the same day! I check out so many books at the same time with every intention of promptly reviewing them . . . .
So what am I doing today? Well, if my boss asks I’ve been working diligently. However, since it’s the day before a holiday errrrryone pretty much knows that isn’t true so I’ve actually been downloading pornography from the library. Because this person and this person are bookpushy assholes and I have no willpower. And now I’m going to try and review a legit book and expect to be taken seriously? No, not really. Here are some pictures and you can decide if you want to read this or not.
Confession: I am morbidly fascinated by airplane crashes (there was a missing plane reported on the news this morning and I. COULD. NOT. pull myself away from the television). Because of this creepy fixation I will most likely never get on a plane again . . . but I sure as shit like reading about ‘em!
Anyway, like I said the main plot point that ties everything/every character together is a plane crash. The plane belongs to a media mogul . . . .
To accompany them on the private jet from Martha’s Vineyard back to NYC. Their wives are also on the flight, but who gives a crap about millionaire’s wives, right????
The real focus is on survivors Scott, a painter of unusual images, and the media mogul’s 4 year old son (again, not a lot of character development on that one which is good because, in case you haven’t been around them, 4 year olds are kind of douchebags). Scott pulls off a real Jack Lallane by swimming with a dislocated shoulder through shark infested waters (yes, I know it’s ridiculous Ron, but sometimes you just gotta channel your inner Elsa and let it go) . . . .
The rest of the story does the wibbly wobbly timey wimey in order to provide the deceased passenger’s backstories as well as the aftermath of how Scott and J.J. deal with surviving the tragedy. It also features a shockjock type of news anchor who was one of the most punchable characters I read in 2016 . . . .
This was a Goodreads Choice Awards this year for “Best Mystery Thriller.” Like most of the selections for those awards, I found the category selection misleading at best and asinine at worst. While Before the Fall does have a bit of a “mystery” vibe included with respect to figuring out exactly what happened to make the plane crash this was more of a character study. I didn’t keep turning pages because I was on the edge of my seat, but because I was generally interested in reading more about these peoples’ lives. The writing was solid, it flowed well and at a great pace and it was just a good book. Recommended....more
And if you really don’t have anything nice to say, you should probably go sit by Truman Capote.
If you take a peek at my bookshelves you probably would be a little shocked to see this being added to my to-read stack, let alone getting a 4 Star rating. You wouldn’t be wrong necessarily – I do need to give credit where credit is due and admit I read The Swans of Fifth Avenue because a co-worker asked me to. Buuuuuuuuut, here’s a little confession: I’m kind of obsessed with stuff like this. Not so much that I’m willing to weed through the trash in order to find the treasures without a firm shove from an outsider, but this era and those who were famous during it???? Keep on dropping those names, yo . . . .
I’ve also decided that presented the opportunity I’d like to come back as one of these marvelous rich bitches in my next life. I’ve done the poor thing, so now it’s time to see how the other half lives. I mean really . . . .
So about the book. This is the story of Truman Capote and the gaggle of “swans” he surrounded himself with as he rose to fame in 1950s New York. Specifically, it is about his friendship with CBS founder Bill Paley’s wife Babe . . . .
The story follows Capote’s ascent to high society beginning with Other Voices, Other Rooms (as well as various stage work) and a continual rise with Breakfast At Tiffany’s and In Cold Blood all the way through his fall from grace with the short story "La Côte Basque 1965" which appeared in Esquire magazine in the Fall of 1975.
It’s delicious in its gossip mongering and I ATE. IT. UP. . . . . .
I put myself on the ol’ wait list for this about eleven thousand years ago and my turn fiFind all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
I put myself on the ol’ wait list for this about eleven thousand years ago and my turn finally came around. Now I sorta wish it hadn’t (*sad face*). To anyone who is seeing this due to the new site features that show you strangers rather than your friends, allow me to give you a teensie bit of backstory regarding me: While I’ve read a handful of “pitcherbooks” I am most definitely not anyone who claims to know anything about the world of comics. However, I have surrounded myself with GR friends who do and I am happy to say most of them agree this was a stinking pile so odds are I didn’t read it totally wrong.
Now, about the story. Being a comic noob I didn’t get the memo I was supposed to hate the as-of-then-not-yet-released Suicide Squad movie, so like I said above I requested Kicked In The Teeth well in advance of the film release (and after viewing said film thought I would luuuuuuurv the comic as well). I mean, after all these are kinda my peeps . . . . .
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(Usually Mitchell is the psychopath sitting next to me, but you get my drift.)
In case you are new to this planet and aren’t already aware, the Suicide Squad is a group of baddies who live in a sprawling estate maximum security prison known as Belle Reve and have been presented an offer they can’t refuse: Work on super secret government stuff in order to earn time off for good behavior – or refuse and get their heads blown off by a bomb planted in each of their necks. Their mission(s) in this volume?????
As with the movie, Harley Quinn and Deadshot are the featured players, but this mahfah seriously packs in just about errrrrryone you’d never care to know more about. You’ve got Boomerang . . .
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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