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A Living Remedy: A Memoir
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Best Memoir & Autobiography (2023)A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK
Named a Best Book of the Year by: Time * Harper’s Bazaar * Esquire * Booklist * USA Today * Elle * Good Housekeeping * New York Times * Electric Literature * Today
From the bestselling author of ALL YOU CAN EVER KNOW comes a searing memoir of family, class and grief—a daughter’s search to understand the lives her adoptive parents led, the life she forged as an adult, and the lives she’s lost.
In this country, unless you attain extraordinary wealth, you will likely be unable to help your loved ones in all the ways you’d hoped. You will learn to live with the specific, hollow guilt of those who leave hardship behind, yet are unable to bring anyone else with them.
Nicole Chung couldn’t hightail it out of her overwhelmingly white Oregon hometown fast enough. As a scholarship student at a private university on the East Coast, no longer the only Korean she knew, she found community and a path to the life she'd long wanted. But the middle class world she begins to raise a family in – where there are big homes, college funds, nice vacations – looks very different from the middle class world she thought she grew up in, where paychecks have to stretch to the end of the week, health insurance is often lacking, and there are no safety nets.
When her father dies at only sixty-seven, killed by diabetes and kidney disease, Nicole feels deep grief as well as rage, knowing that years of precarity and lack of access to healthcare contributed to his early death. And then the unthinkable happens – less than a year later, her beloved mother is diagnosed with cancer, and the physical distance between them becomes insurmountable as COVID-19 descends upon the world.
Exploring the enduring strength of family bonds in the face of hardship and tragedy, A Living Remedy examines what it takes to reconcile the distance between one life, one home, and another – and sheds needed light on some of the most persistent and grievous inequalities in American society.
Named a Best Book of the Year by: Time * Harper’s Bazaar * Esquire * Booklist * USA Today * Elle * Good Housekeeping * New York Times * Electric Literature * Today
From the bestselling author of ALL YOU CAN EVER KNOW comes a searing memoir of family, class and grief—a daughter’s search to understand the lives her adoptive parents led, the life she forged as an adult, and the lives she’s lost.
In this country, unless you attain extraordinary wealth, you will likely be unable to help your loved ones in all the ways you’d hoped. You will learn to live with the specific, hollow guilt of those who leave hardship behind, yet are unable to bring anyone else with them.
Nicole Chung couldn’t hightail it out of her overwhelmingly white Oregon hometown fast enough. As a scholarship student at a private university on the East Coast, no longer the only Korean she knew, she found community and a path to the life she'd long wanted. But the middle class world she begins to raise a family in – where there are big homes, college funds, nice vacations – looks very different from the middle class world she thought she grew up in, where paychecks have to stretch to the end of the week, health insurance is often lacking, and there are no safety nets.
When her father dies at only sixty-seven, killed by diabetes and kidney disease, Nicole feels deep grief as well as rage, knowing that years of precarity and lack of access to healthcare contributed to his early death. And then the unthinkable happens – less than a year later, her beloved mother is diagnosed with cancer, and the physical distance between them becomes insurmountable as COVID-19 descends upon the world.
Exploring the enduring strength of family bonds in the face of hardship and tragedy, A Living Remedy examines what it takes to reconcile the distance between one life, one home, and another – and sheds needed light on some of the most persistent and grievous inequalities in American society.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published April 4, 2023
About the author
Nicole Chung
9 books952 followersNicole Chung is the author of A Living Remedy (April 4, 2023) and the national bestseller All You Can Ever Know (2018). Named a Best Book of the Year by over twenty outlets, including NPR, The Washington Post, Time, and Library Journal, All You Can Ever Know was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and NAIBA Book of the Year, a semifinalist for the PEN Open Book Award, a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers selection, and an Indies Choice Honor Book. Nicole is currently a contributing writer at The Atlantic, and her writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, GQ, Time, The Guardian, Slate, and Vulture. Find her on Twitter, Mastodon, and Post at @nicolesjchung.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 728 reviews
February 2, 2023
This book is so good. It ripped my heart out and made me cry (for the first time)on page 28. Nicole Chung is such a gifted memoirist. She capture grief so beautifully and immortalizes her parents in the most loving way. Just so so good and devastating.
April 28, 2023
Ebook — synced — alternated between the ebook and audiobook . . .
Read by Jennifer Kim
…..the audiobook is 5 hours and 58 minutes.
Another beautiful written book by Nicole Chung!!!
In “All You Could Never Know”….
…..we learned that Nicole was born severely premature — placed for adoption —Nicole was raised in Oregon by White parents. She herself is Korean — from Korean parents.
Both books tell stories about Nicole’s life …..
….. identity, family, cultural challenges, prejudices, insecurities, personal strengths, (A student) — but mostly we feel how much she suffered as an Asian American—feelings of not belonging.
In “A Living Remedy” — also a memoir — we experience more of the grief — we get many ‘growing-up’ stories with friends of major economic differences, and plenty of Nicole’s insecurities
— but as she begins to get stronger —
…..her parents are getting weaker — due to medical health reasons.
And boy….. we/I felt her grief. Aching grief!!!!
……tied with guilt, anger, and regret.
Both of Nicole’s adoptive parents became seriously ill. She lost them both in a very short period of time.
We also learned about Nicole’s marriage and her two children— (the heart- WARMING part)…..
But
…the heartbreak of losing her parents — the anger — regret — and dialogue about the failed healthcare system in this country was devastating to read.
— I admit full blown tears. I also was angry and sad, but I also felt so much love for Nicole.
Add the horrors of COVID-19 ….. having seriously sick parents during the pandemic — and not being able to fly home.
This book resonated
so much raw truth about life, feelings of powerlessness pain, insecurities, worthiness, hopelessness, marriage, births, parenting, working, educational degrees, …..
a few happy lifecycles— but loss and grief overshadows everything!!!!
I really hope, and I say this with tears as I write, that Nicole found writing this memoir helpful and healing for herself.
I think many people will find value from reading Nicole’s book — will relate to the conditions of life that we have little control over —
life’s sadness — and life’s love
Note:
I have a personal little hope that the next book we read from Nicole is filled with joy as a wife, mother, and woman!!!
Read by Jennifer Kim
…..the audiobook is 5 hours and 58 minutes.
Another beautiful written book by Nicole Chung!!!
In “All You Could Never Know”….
…..we learned that Nicole was born severely premature — placed for adoption —Nicole was raised in Oregon by White parents. She herself is Korean — from Korean parents.
Both books tell stories about Nicole’s life …..
….. identity, family, cultural challenges, prejudices, insecurities, personal strengths, (A student) — but mostly we feel how much she suffered as an Asian American—feelings of not belonging.
In “A Living Remedy” — also a memoir — we experience more of the grief — we get many ‘growing-up’ stories with friends of major economic differences, and plenty of Nicole’s insecurities
— but as she begins to get stronger —
…..her parents are getting weaker — due to medical health reasons.
And boy….. we/I felt her grief. Aching grief!!!!
……tied with guilt, anger, and regret.
Both of Nicole’s adoptive parents became seriously ill. She lost them both in a very short period of time.
We also learned about Nicole’s marriage and her two children— (the heart- WARMING part)…..
But
…the heartbreak of losing her parents — the anger — regret — and dialogue about the failed healthcare system in this country was devastating to read.
— I admit full blown tears. I also was angry and sad, but I also felt so much love for Nicole.
Add the horrors of COVID-19 ….. having seriously sick parents during the pandemic — and not being able to fly home.
This book resonated
so much raw truth about life, feelings of powerlessness pain, insecurities, worthiness, hopelessness, marriage, births, parenting, working, educational degrees, …..
a few happy lifecycles— but loss and grief overshadows everything!!!!
I really hope, and I say this with tears as I write, that Nicole found writing this memoir helpful and healing for herself.
I think many people will find value from reading Nicole’s book — will relate to the conditions of life that we have little control over —
life’s sadness — and life’s love
Note:
I have a personal little hope that the next book we read from Nicole is filled with joy as a wife, mother, and woman!!!
March 30, 2023
I received an advance readers' copy of a ‘A Living Remedy’ last year and read the book in two sittings. I knew from reading Nicole Chung’s first memoir ‘All You Can Ever Know’, which details her story as a transracial adoptee, to expect a flood of emotions. I knew to expect that something in me might shift and open up to interrogate a deeply personal belief I might be carrying. Typically, I’m not aware of these beliefs. My son was born two weeks after I had the chance to interview Nicole about her first memoir and I was unconsciously aware of the pressure I was holding onto wondering if I would be a *good* enough mother for him not sharing a biological connection.
Though Nicole’s newest memoir isn’t a continuation or sequel to her first, it spoke to me in a similar voice, revealing things I didn’t know I needed to hear. It’s Nicole’s ability to write with nuance that most speaks to me as a reader. The way she navigates exploring truths and her lived experiences with the people she loves, without speaking for them. In ‘A Living Remedy’, Nicole recalls the ways in which her parents struggled to access healthcare and treatment for illnesses by exposing a broken healthcare system that favors only those that can afford care. Parents she loses. Throughout the book, she writes about the many phases that exist when one is grieving, the questioning of what could have been done differently, the anger, and the pain. It’s through this exploration that she excavates the true meaning of family connection and legacy. I loved every page of this book but my favorite part of the book was when she talked about her parent's faith and what it meant to them and how it walked them through the difficult moments. And I know I’m sure everyone is wondering if there were tears reading this book, the answer is of course, but the tears were both of sadness and joy. I HOPE EVERYONE READS THIS BOOK! EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ IT.
Though Nicole’s newest memoir isn’t a continuation or sequel to her first, it spoke to me in a similar voice, revealing things I didn’t know I needed to hear. It’s Nicole’s ability to write with nuance that most speaks to me as a reader. The way she navigates exploring truths and her lived experiences with the people she loves, without speaking for them. In ‘A Living Remedy’, Nicole recalls the ways in which her parents struggled to access healthcare and treatment for illnesses by exposing a broken healthcare system that favors only those that can afford care. Parents she loses. Throughout the book, she writes about the many phases that exist when one is grieving, the questioning of what could have been done differently, the anger, and the pain. It’s through this exploration that she excavates the true meaning of family connection and legacy. I loved every page of this book but my favorite part of the book was when she talked about her parent's faith and what it meant to them and how it walked them through the difficult moments. And I know I’m sure everyone is wondering if there were tears reading this book, the answer is of course, but the tears were both of sadness and joy. I HOPE EVERYONE READS THIS BOOK! EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ IT.
April 9, 2023
Had I remembered that I had read this author's first memoir, I would not have read this one. I picked it out as a recommendation, but did not connect it to her previous book.
This book is less about her (though the first several chapters set the scene) and more about her father's death, and the trauma of her mother's illness and death during the pandemic.
This is why I am not a fan. My dad died at 61, and it was not exceptional. Could he have had better health care? Yes, probably, but it was his own choice, and I believe, ultimately, the author's father made the same choice, ignoring what others had told him, and relying on his own, albeit faulty, instincts.
My mother died at 39, and it was a fact, and there is a story, but not a book.
The book feels a little sloppy, too drawn out: too many empty pages, too many repetitions, written in slightly different ways.
It feels, as many books do these days, full of filler: i.e., here's a good writer that needs a certain number of words to make it worth a publisher's effort.
Makes me think of the old commercial, Where's the beef?
Where is the "A-HA!" moment? When will I reach the part where I think, wow, the reviewers were right, and not just accepting free books in exchange for their "inflated star rating" opinions?
I dunno. Maybe I am being mean, because it is well written. It's just very light on substance, and makes me think twice, thrice, about the honesty of its high star ratings.
This book is less about her (though the first several chapters set the scene) and more about her father's death, and the trauma of her mother's illness and death during the pandemic.
This is why I am not a fan. My dad died at 61, and it was not exceptional. Could he have had better health care? Yes, probably, but it was his own choice, and I believe, ultimately, the author's father made the same choice, ignoring what others had told him, and relying on his own, albeit faulty, instincts.
My mother died at 39, and it was a fact, and there is a story, but not a book.
The book feels a little sloppy, too drawn out: too many empty pages, too many repetitions, written in slightly different ways.
It feels, as many books do these days, full of filler: i.e., here's a good writer that needs a certain number of words to make it worth a publisher's effort.
Makes me think of the old commercial, Where's the beef?
Where is the "A-HA!" moment? When will I reach the part where I think, wow, the reviewers were right, and not just accepting free books in exchange for their "inflated star rating" opinions?
I dunno. Maybe I am being mean, because it is well written. It's just very light on substance, and makes me think twice, thrice, about the honesty of its high star ratings.
April 3, 2023
I just finished reading this book and it took me a few minutes to get myself together. Ms. Chung has written a memoir that talks about grief in a way that is extremely relatable, especially to those who have lost parents. Although I have not gone through this type of loss yet, I had no problem understanding her pain. The author also writes of the guilt she felt living so far away from her parents, something else I can relate to. But it is Ms. Chung's chapters about the loss of her mother that had me in tears for the second half of the book.
The writing is especially beautiful and raw, letting readers know that what we're reading is how Ms. Chung felt, and still feels. It felt almost cruel how quickly she lost both parents, not having the space to grieve them individually. Reading this book helped me face my own fears of one day losing my own parents and trying to do whatever I can to be there for them like a dutiful daughter should be. I thought the author's bouts with anxiety, panic attacks, guilt and rage were necessary for readers to see on the page because too many of us still try to keep it together during times of crisis or grief, causing more harm to ourselves in the long run.
I definitely plan to purchase a finished copy of this book. I normally do not read memoirs more than once, but this book will be one of the few I choose to keep in my personal library and read again.
The writing is especially beautiful and raw, letting readers know that what we're reading is how Ms. Chung felt, and still feels. It felt almost cruel how quickly she lost both parents, not having the space to grieve them individually. Reading this book helped me face my own fears of one day losing my own parents and trying to do whatever I can to be there for them like a dutiful daughter should be. I thought the author's bouts with anxiety, panic attacks, guilt and rage were necessary for readers to see on the page because too many of us still try to keep it together during times of crisis or grief, causing more harm to ourselves in the long run.
I definitely plan to purchase a finished copy of this book. I normally do not read memoirs more than once, but this book will be one of the few I choose to keep in my personal library and read again.
January 28, 2024
I loved Nicole Chungs debut memoir about being a transracial adoptee, so I knew I wanted to pick this up as well. And boy did it hit hard. A Living Remedy is a memoir that is really about illness, healthcare, and poverty as well as dealing with grief and loss. I found parts of it to be very relatable and got me thinking about the ways my experiences growing up without wealth have influenced me as an adult. Nicole grew up in the sort of poverty that isn't getting help to survive, but is barely staying above the surface when things are going well. Much less when things aren't.
Not having health insurance, rarely seeing doctors, parents putting off getting seen until things are really bad for fear of medical bills, going to college only on scholarships and working to pay for your own extras, and the way that financial fears impact the choices you make or the opportunities you let go in college. That was all super relatable. And she contrasts that with her husband who grew up solidly middle class but with enough to manage and doesn't carry the same relationship to money. Then she pulls that through line to her parents aging, dealing with illnesses like diabetes and cancer but struggling to afford proper care, and then dealing with grief and loss in the wake of the COVID pandemic. And what it's like to lose a parent earlier than you ever expected to. And dealing with grief while parenting young children who are also trying to come to terms with loss. I got very emotional reading this book and I think so many of us have experienced grief and loss in the last few years it's going to resonate with a lot of readers. Her writing is beautiful and evocative, both personal and universal in a way that can be hard to achieve. Highly recommend.
Not having health insurance, rarely seeing doctors, parents putting off getting seen until things are really bad for fear of medical bills, going to college only on scholarships and working to pay for your own extras, and the way that financial fears impact the choices you make or the opportunities you let go in college. That was all super relatable. And she contrasts that with her husband who grew up solidly middle class but with enough to manage and doesn't carry the same relationship to money. Then she pulls that through line to her parents aging, dealing with illnesses like diabetes and cancer but struggling to afford proper care, and then dealing with grief and loss in the wake of the COVID pandemic. And what it's like to lose a parent earlier than you ever expected to. And dealing with grief while parenting young children who are also trying to come to terms with loss. I got very emotional reading this book and I think so many of us have experienced grief and loss in the last few years it's going to resonate with a lot of readers. Her writing is beautiful and evocative, both personal and universal in a way that can be hard to achieve. Highly recommend.
May 9, 2023
I think books have to have at least one of two things: a fascinating story unlike anything we see in our normal lives or something we can deeply relate to. The best might combine both. This book contains any number of interesting elements many would find relatable (death of parents and mourning, transracial adoption and its complexities, mild depression and over-stressed work life, COVID-19 and all its inconveniences/tragedies, etc) but, for me, it didn’t connect emotionally. The author is beyond descriptive, but that often feels like the problem. Lots of words that do not serve a purpose. I didn’t need a whole chapter on the fact she chose a headstone for her father’s grave, for instance. Don’t get me wrong, these things are a huge deal to those living them, and perfect for a journal or therapy exercise. But, some things are meaningful without being particularly noteworthy to an audience. I feel there’s a way of relating the common experiences in a way that resonates, and I never found that in this book. I don’t know, it might just be me, as others seemed to really connect with the story and the author.
What I found very good was the fact she gave her far-from-perfect adoptive parents great honor throughout, while not making little of relational struggles. That angle isn’t seen or heard enough. This was a nice tribute to their memories.
What I found very good was the fact she gave her far-from-perfect adoptive parents great honor throughout, while not making little of relational struggles. That angle isn’t seen or heard enough. This was a nice tribute to their memories.
December 19, 2023
A memoir of class, inequity and grief.
While forging her own path after leaving home she navigates the guilt she felt while watching her parents struggle with their health and finances. I could relate to her helpless feelings while being so far away from family during difficult times.
Intimate, insightful and relatable this is a beautiful memoir that brought tears to my eyes.
Triggers for loss of a parent and the Covid pandemic.
I highly recommend the authors previous memoir that centers on her adoption and search for belonging.
While forging her own path after leaving home she navigates the guilt she felt while watching her parents struggle with their health and finances. I could relate to her helpless feelings while being so far away from family during difficult times.
Intimate, insightful and relatable this is a beautiful memoir that brought tears to my eyes.
Triggers for loss of a parent and the Covid pandemic.
I highly recommend the authors previous memoir that centers on her adoption and search for belonging.
April 28, 2023
Having lost my mom a few months ago, A Living Remedy resonates strongly with me. While everyone’s situation is unique, the author gave words to what it feels like to grieve, have regrets, remember, and yet continue to find joy in living. This book is beautifully written but not sentimental at all. It’s realness moved me to tears many times. Adding this to my best of 2023 list.
February 29, 2024
“The only child I could think about was me.”
I have a generous commute and so am liberal with placing Libby holds. I recalled Chung’s successful first memoir and thought this one resonated with me: it’s about ill parents.
I can’t remember the last time I finished a book in one day.
This book perfectly captured what I’m currently going through (read: the hardest point of my life thus far). While I am not adopted and my parents haven’t died (yet)(thank god), Chung put words to emotions and experiences I thought were foreign to the alien planet that is my brain: feeling guiltily distant from parents, said parents becoming very sick and/or disabled, seeing them unable to afford medical costs and not being able to help financially, getting stuck in the purgatory that is applying for Medicare and Social Security, fathers smoking cigarettes, parenting your parents, fearing phone calls because phone calls deliver bad news always, carrying a crippling physical anxiety that seeps into every thought, moment, and breath.
I thank the author for relieving my sense of loneliness during a similar scary time.
I have a generous commute and so am liberal with placing Libby holds. I recalled Chung’s successful first memoir and thought this one resonated with me: it’s about ill parents.
I can’t remember the last time I finished a book in one day.
This book perfectly captured what I’m currently going through (read: the hardest point of my life thus far). While I am not adopted and my parents haven’t died (yet)(thank god), Chung put words to emotions and experiences I thought were foreign to the alien planet that is my brain: feeling guiltily distant from parents, said parents becoming very sick and/or disabled, seeing them unable to afford medical costs and not being able to help financially, getting stuck in the purgatory that is applying for Medicare and Social Security, fathers smoking cigarettes, parenting your parents, fearing phone calls because phone calls deliver bad news always, carrying a crippling physical anxiety that seeps into every thought, moment, and breath.
I thank the author for relieving my sense of loneliness during a similar scary time.
September 6, 2023
A heartful memoir by the author talking through her childhood, and the loss of both of her parents. I teared up a few times while reading. As anyone knows, losing your parents is hard, you feel a bit undone after they have passed away. Someone who held you, loved you, and yes even yelled at you at times is now gone. I sometimes hate the fact that I have been alive more years than I had my parents in my life. It feels beyond fucked up in so many ways.
I haven't read Chung's other memoir, about growing up Korean and adopted in the Pacific Northwest. But I have read her articles and her essays on Slate. She's a fantastic writer and is very open and factual about things (always needed when someone is writing a memoir).
I will say though at times the book slows a bit too much. She jumps back and forth across the same point in time in a different direction/memory, and it can be a bit too much to follow, but it does somehow work in the end.
I also get Chung's despair that during COVID, she could not be with her mother. And her sadness and just overwhelming grief because she wanted her mother to make things okay, but she could not.
I gave this memoir 5 stars, but did not favorite it. I can't imagine me ever wanting to re-read this in the future.
I haven't read Chung's other memoir, about growing up Korean and adopted in the Pacific Northwest. But I have read her articles and her essays on Slate. She's a fantastic writer and is very open and factual about things (always needed when someone is writing a memoir).
I will say though at times the book slows a bit too much. She jumps back and forth across the same point in time in a different direction/memory, and it can be a bit too much to follow, but it does somehow work in the end.
I also get Chung's despair that during COVID, she could not be with her mother. And her sadness and just overwhelming grief because she wanted her mother to make things okay, but she could not.
I gave this memoir 5 stars, but did not favorite it. I can't imagine me ever wanting to re-read this in the future.
October 22, 2023
Nicole Chung had successfully put her grief into words in this memoir, how her parents' death had affected her individually. Her helpless and guilt when she lived so far away and she couldn't do much to help financially.
"How do you learn to cherish your life when grief has made it unrecognizable? I am starting to feel that we do so not by trying to fill a void that can never be filled but by living as best as we can in this strange, yawning terrain our loved ones have left behind, exploring its jagged boundaries and learning to see it as something new."
The writing was great but sometimes I felt it was all over the place. Nicole Chung recounted the same issues near the end of the book. She had already made her point so I don't see why she needed to do it again.
"How do you learn to cherish your life when grief has made it unrecognizable? I am starting to feel that we do so not by trying to fill a void that can never be filled but by living as best as we can in this strange, yawning terrain our loved ones have left behind, exploring its jagged boundaries and learning to see it as something new."
The writing was great but sometimes I felt it was all over the place. Nicole Chung recounted the same issues near the end of the book. She had already made her point so I don't see why she needed to do it again.
February 19, 2023
"A Living Remedy" is a deeply personal recollection of grief and loss, told from the perspective of Nicole Chung.
Despite growing up in what some might a difficult childhood, Nicole Chung knew she was loved by her adoptive parents. She's raised in Oregon where she knows she doesn't look like everyone else including her parents, given her Korean heritage, but also watches as her parents struggle with life in the disappearing "middle class". Her father, working in various restaurants, struggles with the income his job is able to bring in, and Nicole witness first-hand the anxieties and pressures that money brings. Driven by this, Nicole works hard to gain access to higher education, and a scholarship to Johns Hopkins means she's able to leave her hometown and achieve the life her parents hoped she could have.
The family is unprepared for when Nicole's father's diabetes quickly spirals into kidney failure - an event that quickly spirals to his death. It's a jarring, life-changing event, and highlights not only the grief and loss from losing a father, but the pitfalls of the American healthcare system and how discriminatory it is to financially disadvantaged individuals. Nicole is barely able to move forward when her mother is diagnosed with terminal cancer - right before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. It is in this scenario when Nicole not only has to struggle with the impending loss of her second parent, but navigating it in the midst of a global pandemic when all her interactions with her mother are remote and virtual.
"A Living Memoir" is a beautiful testament to Nicole's parents, a collection of memories and events that demonstrate the love they had for her and for each other. It's a harsh coming of age, cemented by hardship, grief, and loss and the ways they shape and continue to impact us in the present - in the constant financial anxiety that Nicole still can't shake off to the fear of losing even more loved ones. It's also a triumph of love and family, as these are the things that continue to keep us moving forward, no matter what comes our way.
This is not an easy read, but one that I think many will come to appreciate.
Thank you Ecco Publishing for the advance copy of this novel!
Despite growing up in what some might a difficult childhood, Nicole Chung knew she was loved by her adoptive parents. She's raised in Oregon where she knows she doesn't look like everyone else including her parents, given her Korean heritage, but also watches as her parents struggle with life in the disappearing "middle class". Her father, working in various restaurants, struggles with the income his job is able to bring in, and Nicole witness first-hand the anxieties and pressures that money brings. Driven by this, Nicole works hard to gain access to higher education, and a scholarship to Johns Hopkins means she's able to leave her hometown and achieve the life her parents hoped she could have.
The family is unprepared for when Nicole's father's diabetes quickly spirals into kidney failure - an event that quickly spirals to his death. It's a jarring, life-changing event, and highlights not only the grief and loss from losing a father, but the pitfalls of the American healthcare system and how discriminatory it is to financially disadvantaged individuals. Nicole is barely able to move forward when her mother is diagnosed with terminal cancer - right before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. It is in this scenario when Nicole not only has to struggle with the impending loss of her second parent, but navigating it in the midst of a global pandemic when all her interactions with her mother are remote and virtual.
"A Living Memoir" is a beautiful testament to Nicole's parents, a collection of memories and events that demonstrate the love they had for her and for each other. It's a harsh coming of age, cemented by hardship, grief, and loss and the ways they shape and continue to impact us in the present - in the constant financial anxiety that Nicole still can't shake off to the fear of losing even more loved ones. It's also a triumph of love and family, as these are the things that continue to keep us moving forward, no matter what comes our way.
This is not an easy read, but one that I think many will come to appreciate.
Thank you Ecco Publishing for the advance copy of this novel!
March 6, 2023
"Since I was a child, I've been able to wake myself up from dreams. But I find it's hard to leave dreams about my parents, even the nightmares. It's the only time I get to see their faces, hear their voices as I remember them."
A LIVING REMEDY (is):
a memoir that feels too close to home / had me tearing up in the first 2 pages / about vulnerability, transracial adoptee experience, marriage, parenting, illness, (unjust and exploitative) healthcare system, creative writing, COVID and grief / the most honest/raw look into Chung's insecurities, fears and dreams / offers glimpses into the racism and the helplessness when facing the inaccessible medical care / filled with her childhood memories and parents' story / sorrowful and devastating, it will break your heart / written with evocative prose, it's impossible not to navigate together with Chung through this roller coaster of emotions / made me have several break downs, when I wished to read it alone at a quiet night in order to process the numbness / weighty with despair and grief, and ending in hope / a memoir that motivates me to re-visit Chung's debut memoir 'All you can ever know' / ultimately, about the legacy that passes on.
If you need to read one memoir, read this one! A book to be treasured, A LIVING REMEDY is an all-time favorite.
[ I received an ARC from the publisher - Ecco books . All opinions are my own ]
A LIVING REMEDY (is):
a memoir that feels too close to home / had me tearing up in the first 2 pages / about vulnerability, transracial adoptee experience, marriage, parenting, illness, (unjust and exploitative) healthcare system, creative writing, COVID and grief / the most honest/raw look into Chung's insecurities, fears and dreams / offers glimpses into the racism and the helplessness when facing the inaccessible medical care / filled with her childhood memories and parents' story / sorrowful and devastating, it will break your heart / written with evocative prose, it's impossible not to navigate together with Chung through this roller coaster of emotions / made me have several break downs, when I wished to read it alone at a quiet night in order to process the numbness / weighty with despair and grief, and ending in hope / a memoir that motivates me to re-visit Chung's debut memoir 'All you can ever know' / ultimately, about the legacy that passes on.
If you need to read one memoir, read this one! A book to be treasured, A LIVING REMEDY is an all-time favorite.
[ I received an ARC from the publisher - Ecco books . All opinions are my own ]
June 21, 2023
A luminous exploration of grief, class, and the failure of the US medical system. Nicole Chung is an ever stunning writer.
One of my frequent critiques of memoirs is that they’re written too close to the events in question. That’s not the case here. I have no idea how she managed to write about losing both of her parents so soon after the loss but I’m grateful for the result.
Content notes: suicidal ideation, death of parents (father from diabetes and kidney disease, mother from ovarian/endometrial cancer and brain metastasis), COVID-19, mother previously diagnosed with breast cancer at age 43 (single mastectomy, declared in remission post-surgery), past emergency hysterectomy for mother (endometriosis), death of grandparents, past kidney transplant (paternal grandmother), anxiety, racism, diabetes diagnosis, author is a transracial adoptee, daughter is autistic, father was a smoker, wildfire (not in immediate danger)
One of my frequent critiques of memoirs is that they’re written too close to the events in question. That’s not the case here. I have no idea how she managed to write about losing both of her parents so soon after the loss but I’m grateful for the result.
Content notes: suicidal ideation, death of parents (father from diabetes and kidney disease, mother from ovarian/endometrial cancer and brain metastasis), COVID-19, mother previously diagnosed with breast cancer at age 43 (single mastectomy, declared in remission post-surgery), past emergency hysterectomy for mother (endometriosis), death of grandparents, past kidney transplant (paternal grandmother), anxiety, racism, diabetes diagnosis, author is a transracial adoptee, daughter is autistic, father was a smoker, wildfire (not in immediate danger)
May 19, 2023
uhhhh I cried so much. she doesn't say where she grew up in oregon but I think it's the rogue valley
April 4, 2023
As a Korean adoptee to white parents in a majority-white Oregon town, Nicole Chung was excited to leave her hometown for college and move across the country. She found her community and home on the East Coast as her family grew after graduation. However, when both her parents passed away within a year of each other–her father from diabetes & kidney disease and her mother from cancer during the pandemic–Chung was hit with heartbreaking grief and rage.
A LIVING REMEDY is a heartwrenching and poignant memoir that explores identity, family, and inequality. As an adoptee who grew up in a white family, Chung grapples with her difference from her parents yet also cherishes the closeness they share. She reflects on her parents' courageous decision to adopt a sick Korean American baby. This experience gives Chung the courage to pursue whatever she wants in life and is a testament to her parents' legacy.
Chung also delves into issues of poverty and healthcare and how these issues are intertwined to contribute to the struggles of middle-class families that rely on stable jobs to afford medical care. As someone who lived in Taiwan, where there is universal healthcare, and finds America's medical system baffling, I resonated deeply with Chung's experience and pain when her father couldn't access adequate care due to financial instability.
Perhaps most heartbreakingly, Chung memorializes her parents and grapples with the question of how to care for them when she's across the country and how to remember them after they're gone. I sobbed so much reading about this and thinking about my parents, who are an ocean away. While I'm grateful for their support of me pursuing my career in the US, I shudder to think if there's ever an emergency and I couldn't be there with my parents. Will I ever forgive myself?
A LIVING REMEDY is a beautifully written memoir that explores complex themes with grace and honesty. Chung's story is one that resonated deeply with me, and I'll be thinking about it long after finishing.
Thank you to Ecco Books and Net Galley for the eARC. A LIVING REMEDY is out today, and it's a beautiful story you won't want to miss!
A LIVING REMEDY is a heartwrenching and poignant memoir that explores identity, family, and inequality. As an adoptee who grew up in a white family, Chung grapples with her difference from her parents yet also cherishes the closeness they share. She reflects on her parents' courageous decision to adopt a sick Korean American baby. This experience gives Chung the courage to pursue whatever she wants in life and is a testament to her parents' legacy.
Chung also delves into issues of poverty and healthcare and how these issues are intertwined to contribute to the struggles of middle-class families that rely on stable jobs to afford medical care. As someone who lived in Taiwan, where there is universal healthcare, and finds America's medical system baffling, I resonated deeply with Chung's experience and pain when her father couldn't access adequate care due to financial instability.
Perhaps most heartbreakingly, Chung memorializes her parents and grapples with the question of how to care for them when she's across the country and how to remember them after they're gone. I sobbed so much reading about this and thinking about my parents, who are an ocean away. While I'm grateful for their support of me pursuing my career in the US, I shudder to think if there's ever an emergency and I couldn't be there with my parents. Will I ever forgive myself?
A LIVING REMEDY is a beautifully written memoir that explores complex themes with grace and honesty. Chung's story is one that resonated deeply with me, and I'll be thinking about it long after finishing.
Thank you to Ecco Books and Net Galley for the eARC. A LIVING REMEDY is out today, and it's a beautiful story you won't want to miss!
April 17, 2023
A loss of a parent is something we will all experience. Nicole Chung lost both her adoptive parents about two years apart, with her mom dying during the pandemic with no way to physically experience the loss and grief. She beautifully shares her experiences and also contemplates her relationship as a daughter and how both her daughters will remember their grandparents and as well the author’s relationship with them.
May 26, 2023
2.5 stars maybe? This book was very repetitive, especially in the last 50 pages that didn’t really add anything new. Although the story was sad and I felt for the author, I didn’t really feel that it was different or stood out amongst other books about loss.
April 5, 2023
I felt the same way reading this author’s first book. We learn a lot of her wholehearted feelings and experiences which I appreciated but very boring to read.
Read
November 13, 2023Once again, I am reminded that maybe I should read the blurb before picking up a book (and still I will continue to not do so 95% of the time because I never learn) because I'm not sure it was a good time for me to read a memoir that's a lot about losing parents.
If you're looking for an adoption story from the perspective of the adopted child that isn't about either demonizing or glorifying adoption this one would be a good choice (adoption isn't necessarily the center of things here but it is an important factor).
Cancer features quite heavily as well as loss in the time of Covid lockdowns (which were treated with a refreshing openness and sense of it is what it is which I found really agreeable).
No rating because I don't rate memoirs.
If you're looking for an adoption story from the perspective of the adopted child that isn't about either demonizing or glorifying adoption this one would be a good choice (adoption isn't necessarily the center of things here but it is an important factor).
Cancer features quite heavily as well as loss in the time of Covid lockdowns (which were treated with a refreshing openness and sense of it is what it is which I found really agreeable).
No rating because I don't rate memoirs.
March 17, 2023
A LIVING REMEDY is an absolutely heartbreaking and beautiful memoir from ALL I CAN EVER KNOW author, Nicole Chung. In her first memoir, she focuses on her adoption and search for her birth family. In her newest memoir, she writes about her life after she leaves her (very white) hometown in Oregon and finding herself needing, wanting to come home for her parents but unable to. She writes about the broken healthcare system, financial instability, her grief and then rage.
This has easily become my new all-time favorite memoir. And I feel conflicted saying that someone’s loss is now a “favorite” of mine—it makes me feel disingenuous. But, let me explain.
When I say that this book moved me would be an understatement. Nicole Chung has this incredible ability to write about loss and grief in a way that is tangible and visceral. Yes, reading this book devastated me. I think I cried 95% of the book. And, mind you, I have not experienced the loss of a parent, so I cannot fully understand but oh, how I imagined. I imagined over and over again about my parents, and what they have kept and are still keeping from me to protect me. Imagined over and over again about my young children, and what I would do to protect them, what I would do so that I don’t become a burden.
The writing is beautiful, there is no doubt. But, a lot of writing can be beautiful. But not a lot of writing carries depth and intention. I am not a writer. I am a reader, and as a reader, reading this was… profound.
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted ARC.
This has easily become my new all-time favorite memoir. And I feel conflicted saying that someone’s loss is now a “favorite” of mine—it makes me feel disingenuous. But, let me explain.
When I say that this book moved me would be an understatement. Nicole Chung has this incredible ability to write about loss and grief in a way that is tangible and visceral. Yes, reading this book devastated me. I think I cried 95% of the book. And, mind you, I have not experienced the loss of a parent, so I cannot fully understand but oh, how I imagined. I imagined over and over again about my parents, and what they have kept and are still keeping from me to protect me. Imagined over and over again about my young children, and what I would do to protect them, what I would do so that I don’t become a burden.
The writing is beautiful, there is no doubt. But, a lot of writing can be beautiful. But not a lot of writing carries depth and intention. I am not a writer. I am a reader, and as a reader, reading this was… profound.
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted ARC.
May 14, 2023
Nicole Chung never disappoints. Such a beautiful story of grief and love, and captured vulnerably and transparently. I choked up many times in tears throughout.
November 10, 2022
A LIVING REMEDY |
A deeply moving and emotional read of Chung's life, living through the sickness of loved ones and separation during the pandemic from those you so desperately need to hold close.
As a child, there is so much that you never knew happened. It's only when you reflect years later, helped perhaps with kids of your own, that you see how much struggle went into momentous decisions that you were completely ignorant of. As you grow older and your relationship with a parent shifts, you learn things that seem to almost tilt the way you see things.
As a newly minted parent, helping a parent or both parents through sickness and perhaps death, your status and relative role fluctuates depending on what's needed. How best can you comfort a mother who is stretched beyond belief, unable to decide how to proceed? How can you father a father that insists he doesn't need help when he obviously does?
Add to the grief of loss an immense sense of guilt caused by separation from starting one's own family and navigating an impossible pandemic, feeling useless and unable to help from so far away. What more could you, should you have done? The levels of anxiety and self-blame that this guilt racks on you over time can be devastating. There is a clarity with Chung's writing that feels so clear and precise but raw with emotion.
It is heart wrenching - to see and feel with Chung the role reversal. At once the child, and at the same time a parent to both her parents in need and her own children, we are pieces of an interconnected line that are passed down from generation to generation.
This is absolutely one that I'd add to my #iwillneverbeokayagain I was tearing on page 3. And there was a span of 50 pages in the middle that I was just about bawling page to page.
I hope you pre-order this one! It is full of deep love
A deeply moving and emotional read of Chung's life, living through the sickness of loved ones and separation during the pandemic from those you so desperately need to hold close.
As a child, there is so much that you never knew happened. It's only when you reflect years later, helped perhaps with kids of your own, that you see how much struggle went into momentous decisions that you were completely ignorant of. As you grow older and your relationship with a parent shifts, you learn things that seem to almost tilt the way you see things.
As a newly minted parent, helping a parent or both parents through sickness and perhaps death, your status and relative role fluctuates depending on what's needed. How best can you comfort a mother who is stretched beyond belief, unable to decide how to proceed? How can you father a father that insists he doesn't need help when he obviously does?
Add to the grief of loss an immense sense of guilt caused by separation from starting one's own family and navigating an impossible pandemic, feeling useless and unable to help from so far away. What more could you, should you have done? The levels of anxiety and self-blame that this guilt racks on you over time can be devastating. There is a clarity with Chung's writing that feels so clear and precise but raw with emotion.
It is heart wrenching - to see and feel with Chung the role reversal. At once the child, and at the same time a parent to both her parents in need and her own children, we are pieces of an interconnected line that are passed down from generation to generation.
This is absolutely one that I'd add to my #iwillneverbeokayagain I was tearing on page 3. And there was a span of 50 pages in the middle that I was just about bawling page to page.
I hope you pre-order this one! It is full of deep love
February 11, 2023
After reading Chung's previous book, All You can ever Know ,I eagerly looked forward to her newest memoir. Chung is an adopted Korean daughter of white parents who grew up in Oregon and couldn't wait to leave the racist environment in which she was raised. Not by her parents but by the community, something her parents were not aware of. Trying to make sense of her parents’ lives and her role within the family constellations, she examines their life of living paycheck to paycheck and often without health insurance. She escapes to the East Coast for college but then has many conflicted feelings about abandoning them out West. As her father develops more and more complicated health issues she feels sandwiched between her own burgeoning family and the one who raised her. Money being tight she was not able to help them out much financially and visiting them was perhaps once a year. When her father dies of kidney disease and diabetes, she is struck with a grief so profound that it consumes the reader. She's angry at the health system that has not allowed him to get health benefits that he so dearly needed. Shortly thereafter her mother dies from cancer that has spread throughout her system. Unfortunately, this occurs in the time of COVID when tight restrictions do not allow interactions with the dying individual and funerals become a long-distance affair. Chung's grief is so robust, devastating, and depleting that I had to stop several times because I felt it seeping into my pores. For those who have been in similar situations this book might be a trigger, but it also could be a wonderful release to identify with someone who has experienced this same tragedy.
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC in return for an honest review.
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC in return for an honest review.
February 17, 2023
T/W: Death of Parents
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Reminiscent of Crying in H Mart, A Living Remedy is told by Korean American adoptee Nicole Chung who grew up in Oregon to a working class white family. A Living Remedy is her memoir as she shares with us her experience of being the only person of color in her life growing up, facing her parents decline as their precarious financial situation lended them no favors medically, and navigating a pandemic affected world while in the process of grief.
I found this book utterly gripping and accessible.
Chung's love for her parents is felt immediately from the very first chapter that left me with goosebumps. Her ability to interweave conversations about race, class, and religion specifically in the Pacific North West and personally is absorbing and relevant.
This is truly a quietly beautiful book about yes, the love between family but also the everyday anxieties we face and how our society doesn't necessarily do much to ease them. There aren't many big moments or controversial proclamations but quiet and profound anecdotes that we can all relate to on some level.
It isn't linear and it moves fluidly as a thought, but it is steadfast in its message and I hope readers give this one a chance.
Thank you Ecco Books for a gifted copy in exchange for my honest review.
--
Reminiscent of Crying in H Mart, A Living Remedy is told by Korean American adoptee Nicole Chung who grew up in Oregon to a working class white family. A Living Remedy is her memoir as she shares with us her experience of being the only person of color in her life growing up, facing her parents decline as their precarious financial situation lended them no favors medically, and navigating a pandemic affected world while in the process of grief.
I found this book utterly gripping and accessible.
Chung's love for her parents is felt immediately from the very first chapter that left me with goosebumps. Her ability to interweave conversations about race, class, and religion specifically in the Pacific North West and personally is absorbing and relevant.
This is truly a quietly beautiful book about yes, the love between family but also the everyday anxieties we face and how our society doesn't necessarily do much to ease them. There aren't many big moments or controversial proclamations but quiet and profound anecdotes that we can all relate to on some level.
It isn't linear and it moves fluidly as a thought, but it is steadfast in its message and I hope readers give this one a chance.
Thank you Ecco Books for a gifted copy in exchange for my honest review.
February 1, 2023
**I received a copy of this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.**
Nicole's memoir is about the heartbreaking loss of both of her adoptive parents and the grief she experiences when losing them in such short time of each other. She discusses often about her disappointment in the health care system within our country that fails her parents when they needed help the most which I find to be a really important part of the book. I loved Nicole's honesty about the sadness and guilt she felt - i.e. still having to be a functional parent. working through the pandemic, not being able to fly to her mom in her last days because of the pandemic, not having enough money to help foot health care costs of her parents, etc. Eventually, I hope to back track and read Nicole's first memoir.
Nicole's memoir is about the heartbreaking loss of both of her adoptive parents and the grief she experiences when losing them in such short time of each other. She discusses often about her disappointment in the health care system within our country that fails her parents when they needed help the most which I find to be a really important part of the book. I loved Nicole's honesty about the sadness and guilt she felt - i.e. still having to be a functional parent. working through the pandemic, not being able to fly to her mom in her last days because of the pandemic, not having enough money to help foot health care costs of her parents, etc. Eventually, I hope to back track and read Nicole's first memoir.
December 31, 2022
It feels weird to give a review on someone’s memoir about the grief of losing both their parents in a short amount of time, but since it’s an amazing read, I’ll happily give it 5 stars.
*NOTE: The author sent me her book personally and we are mutuals on social media, but my reviews are my own (if I hated it, I would simply just never tell her haha).
I want to do more of a review but HarperCollins won’t pay their employees a fair wage and they’ve been on strike since November 10th, so I won’t be doing that. I WILL say: I cried while reading it and you need to order it now. The end.
*NOTE: The author sent me her book personally and we are mutuals on social media, but my reviews are my own (if I hated it, I would simply just never tell her haha).
I want to do more of a review but HarperCollins won’t pay their employees a fair wage and they’ve been on strike since November 10th, so I won’t be doing that. I WILL say: I cried while reading it and you need to order it now. The end.
May 26, 2023
This book did not resonate with me. I loved Chung's first memoir, but this felt like an expression of her feelings about her parents' deaths in a way that didn't feel either transcendent or broader than her own experience nor did it feel specific such that it was interesting.
I would maybe recommend it if you're looking for someone else dealing with grief.
I would maybe recommend it if you're looking for someone else dealing with grief.
May 2, 2023
It was well written but for some reason I just couldn’t connect.
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