Fellatio Quotes

“Everything with me is either worship and passion or pity and understanding. I hate rarely, though when I hate, I hate murderously. For example now, I hate the bank and everything connected with it. I also hate Dutch paintings, penis-sucking, parties, and cold rainy weather. But I am much more preoccupied with loving.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: From "A Journal of Love": The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1931-1932

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
― Barbara Bush

“THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“One second, he was in my mouth, my tongue flicking over the broad head of him; the next, his hands were on my waist and I flipped onto my front. He nudged my legs apart with his knees, spreading me as he gripped my hips, tugging them up, up before he sheathed himself deep in me with a single stroke.
I moaned into the pillow at every glorious inch of him, rising onto my forearms as my fingers grappled into the sheets.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.”
― Gerard Way

“... so I leaned down and put my mouth on him.
He jerked at the contact with a barked, “Shit,” and I laughed around him, even as I took him deeper into my mouth.
His hands were now fisted in the sheets, white-knuckled as I slid my tongue over him, grazing slightly with my teeth. His groan was fire to my blood.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's nothing wrong with suckin' dicks. Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. I say, Drop the pipe, and go to the dick! That's my advice. I'm here to help.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!)”
― Eugene Mirman, The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

“Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“Don’t spit, swallow: there is protein and other good stuff in male semen; it’s an acquired taste and, once acquired, totally addictive.”
― Chloe Thurlow, The Gift of Girls

“A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“In porn, men give blow jobs like they love men. Women give blow jobs like they love the camera.”
― Fierce Dolan

“Either a municipal bog is a private place or it isn't. If it is a private place in which to shit, how is it not a private place in which to fellate?”
― Stephen Fry, The Liar

“Some people are so sexually unattractive that the thought of masturbating turns them off.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex; they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“A really good blowjob is like making a cake, the gathering of ingredients, the mixing and stirring, the slow baking in the warm oven of your mouth. Timing is everything. So is the variety of flicks, licks, nicks and kisses that culminate with gentle persistent pressure on the frenulum, a membrane on the underside of the penis that connects the head to the shaft.”
― Chloe Thurlow, The Gift of Girls

“The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“There is nothing more feminine than a blowjob. You naked on your knees. Your guy with his hand resting on the back of your head. A really good blowjob confirms some primal nostalgia. It puts the world in balance.”
― Chloe Thurlow, The Secret Life of Girls

“Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl should do two things: what and who she wants.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“Some men do not know the father of 'their' children.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

“He tastes of rice with a touch of saffron. He says I taste of seafood. I guess we'd make a good paella.”
― Chloe Thurlow, Girl Trade

“The on-screen depiction of oral sex performed on women has consistently earned movies an NC-17 rating – Blue Valentine, Boys Don’t Cry, and Charlie Countryman are a few that come to mind. The same standard has certainly not been applied to on-screen blow jobs. I often think of 2013s Lovelace, a biopic about the star of the 1972 porn film Deep Throat. This was an entire movie dedicated to fellatio, and to extreme sexual violence, and even that was given a mild R. Sure, let the kids watch a porn star get repeatedly raped, but female desire? No, no, no.”
― Amanda Montell, Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language

“Corn dogs are like blow jobs. If you complain about one, you're the problem.”
― Tim Dorsey, Coconut Cowboy

“MADAME DE SAINT-ANGE — [...] My husband's whim is to have himself sucked, and here is the most unusual practice joined as a corollary to that one; while, as I bend over his face and cheerily pumping the fuck from his balls, I must shit in his mouth!...He swallows it down!...
EUGENIE — Now there's a most extraordinary notion!”
― Marquis de Sade, Philosophy in the Boudoir

“She sucks at her words as they come out. She seems to practise a constant fellatio on the words she pronounces.”
― Jean Baudrillard, Fragments

“Faith is a sacred fellowship with God.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“CASE 146. Once summer's evening, at twilight, X.Y., a doctor of medicine in a North German city, was trodden on by a watchman as he (the doctor) was committing an immoral act with a tramp on a path in a field. He was practicing masturbation on him and thereupon putting the tramp's penis into his mouth.”
― Richard von Krafft-Ebing, Psychopathia Sexualis: A Medico-Legal Study