Catherine (alternativelytitledbooks) - even more behind!'s Reviews > While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

**Many thanks to NetGalley, @CeladonBooks, and Meg Kissinger for an ARC of this book! Now available as of 9.5!!**

Meg Kissinger grew up in a veritable whirlwind of uncertainty: as one of EIGHT children, life was always an adventure. Though she had two loving parents, the duo presented one side of their personalities to the outside world, and an entirely DIFFERENT side to their family. Meg's mother recognized the presence of nascent mental health issues prior to their marriage, but perhaps didn't realize the severity until several years later...at the same time her husband's hot temper turned their home life upside down.

In the meantime, a couple of Meg's siblings started displaying symptoms of mental health issues, including bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation and everything begins to escalate. When Meg actually LOSES one of her siblings for good, the situation reaches a fever pitch. Meg pursues a career in journalism, desperate to uncover the truth behind the nature vs. nurture of mental illness and to make a difference in the way it is handled in our country. Can she finally urge her siblings to break their silence and help one another cope, all while having the bravery to share her story...with the world?

As a staunch advocate for mental illness awareness, education, and acceptance, I was very intrigued by the premise of this memoir and hoping for an emotional and impactful experience reading this book. Things were a bit slow at the start, with a VERY exhaustive family history, including discussions of the background of Kissinger's grandparents (which I'm not sure was very relevant) but I hoped after this initial info dump, things would pick up. The introduction mentions the information included in the memoir was compiled from interviews and the like, so what I was hoping to read WERE excerpts of interviews and the like to help get me into the minds and hearts of the members of this family.

But instead of feeling like I could CONNECT with Meg and her family members, I very much felt like an outsider looking in. The detail in the first half of the memoir was just TOO much for me. Instead of opening a window into her past and the thoughts and emotions that helped to shape her, I felt like I was reading very exhaustive, long-winded stories with details that didn't necessarily make an impact. I felt very sad for Meg and the situation she was in, but this was based more on the straight facts of her life than writing that showed any emotion. I'm not sure if this is just because of KIssinger's background as a journalist, but as a huge feeler, I was hoping to connect to the tales she was telling...but I felt the age gap rather dramatically. Though I'm certainly not as young as she was experiencing some of these events, I was very aware of the author's age at the time she penned this book, and in this case, it wasn't a good thing.

At the beginning of the next part however, there was a dramatic flip: Kissinger went into pure journalist mode, and I felt like I was reading a different book. Her exploration of the background of the trajectory of mental health programs in this country and the roadblocks that popped up along the way was engaging AND infuriating. We had such a potential for change in this country many years ago, and instead of moving away from mental health institutions in a pragmatic way, so many of these people were instead funneled from institutions into the prison system, or ended up on the street. THIS was my great takeaway from this book, and rather than a memoir, I was inspired to check out some of Kissinger's journalism pieces on this very subject.

While I applaud using this forum to work through the pain that Kissinger dealt with over the years, as a reader, I was missing the emotional connection I was so hoping to find, especially dealing with such sensitive subject matter. I think a book focused on her decision to WRITE this book would have been more interesting: how did she get from there to here? When I read a memoir, I tend to have the best experience as a reader when I feel as though I know the author far better after reading it. But after reading this particular memoir, much like a therapist at a withdrawn patient's very FIRST session, I felt like I had been left with FAR more questions than answers.

3.5 stars

#WhileYouWereOut #CeladonReads