La Petite Américaine's Reviews > The Kite Runner
The Kite Runner
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![59329](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p2/59329.jpg)
La Petite Américaine's review
bookshelves: sucked, middle_east, worst-garbage-i-ve-ever-read, rants
May 11, 2008
bookshelves: sucked, middle_east, worst-garbage-i-ve-ever-read, rants
After pondering long and hard, I'm going to try now to articulate just what it was about this book that sucked so much, why it has offended me so greatly, and why its popularity has enraged me even more. This book blew so much that I've been inspired to start my own website of book reviews for non-morons. So let us explore why.
First, let's deal with the writer himself. Hosseini's father worked for Western companies while in Afghasnistan. While daddy (who I am guessing, from Hosseini's tragic account of the "fictional" father, never accepts his son) worked and got wealthy, normal Afghans lived their lives. When war broke out, Hosseini's father was offered a safe position in Iran. Just before the revolution in Iran, his father was offered another job in Paris, before finally taking the family to the USA.
That's fine ... some of us are lucky in life. Others are not. What bothers me, though, is that The Kite Runner is so obviously what Hosseini WISHES had happened.
There is no doubt in my mind that the Hassan character really did exist in some form or another. Surely Hosseini had a friend/sometimes playmate/servant who was left behind while Hosseini's powerful family escaped. Surely, Hosseini feels guilty for leaving his homeland by simple privilege while the less fortunate were left behind to fight the Soviets, the Mujahideen, and then the Taliban. And surely, Hosseini wishes he were some flawed hero that didn't simply get lucky. He wishes he'd majored in English, as the protagonist does, and published fiction books instead of becoming a run-of-the-mill doctor; he wishes his father had depended upon him in the USA as happens in the book, instead of getting by just fine as a rich exile with a daddy-doesn't-love-me complex; he wishes he could go back to Afghanistan, risking his life to make ammends for his shitty and cowardly past, instead of remaining a wealthy outsider living happily in the USA.
Hosseini is simply some guy who feels guilty about having escaped what so many of his fellow countrymen couldn't, and he makes up for it in fantasy in a million ways: accepting his fallen father, marrying an "unsuitable" woman, listening to a voice from the past, saving the son of his friend he watched being raped decades before (when he was too selfish to intervene), stomaching the live stoning of a burka-clad woman and her adulterous lover, taking a beating from an old enemy/Taliban child molestor, giving $2000 to a poor smuggler who tries to feed his kids on $3 a week, and saving a 12 year-old from suicide. If Hosseini REALLY did all this, what a hero he would be. Instead, he just makes it up and calles it a novel ... and people devour this shit with tears, labeling it as "inspirational" and "moving."
What really bothers me? Besides all of the contrived and predictable plot twists?? What really disturbs me is that people not only eat this shit up, but they also call it "literature," award it, and give this guy money and license to write another book.
For lack of better words ... WTF?!!!??! Has everyone just gone STUPID?!!?!?
I could go on about how the writing sucks, especially when the author admits to using cliches (elephant in the room, dark as night, thin as a rake, et fucking c) but I won't.
Why? A couple of reasons:
1) If you liked this book, a part of you is sick, and a larger part of you is an idiot
2) I could write a 100-page thesis about how much this book blew monkey chunks, but it's not worth my time
3) This shit sells, and Hosseini, between his stupid book and movie deals, is an even richer man than he was before ... which in the end, makes him smarter than you, me, and everyone else .... He understands the market and fed it back to us. We probably deserve it.
First, let's deal with the writer himself. Hosseini's father worked for Western companies while in Afghasnistan. While daddy (who I am guessing, from Hosseini's tragic account of the "fictional" father, never accepts his son) worked and got wealthy, normal Afghans lived their lives. When war broke out, Hosseini's father was offered a safe position in Iran. Just before the revolution in Iran, his father was offered another job in Paris, before finally taking the family to the USA.
That's fine ... some of us are lucky in life. Others are not. What bothers me, though, is that The Kite Runner is so obviously what Hosseini WISHES had happened.
There is no doubt in my mind that the Hassan character really did exist in some form or another. Surely Hosseini had a friend/sometimes playmate/servant who was left behind while Hosseini's powerful family escaped. Surely, Hosseini feels guilty for leaving his homeland by simple privilege while the less fortunate were left behind to fight the Soviets, the Mujahideen, and then the Taliban. And surely, Hosseini wishes he were some flawed hero that didn't simply get lucky. He wishes he'd majored in English, as the protagonist does, and published fiction books instead of becoming a run-of-the-mill doctor; he wishes his father had depended upon him in the USA as happens in the book, instead of getting by just fine as a rich exile with a daddy-doesn't-love-me complex; he wishes he could go back to Afghanistan, risking his life to make ammends for his shitty and cowardly past, instead of remaining a wealthy outsider living happily in the USA.
Hosseini is simply some guy who feels guilty about having escaped what so many of his fellow countrymen couldn't, and he makes up for it in fantasy in a million ways: accepting his fallen father, marrying an "unsuitable" woman, listening to a voice from the past, saving the son of his friend he watched being raped decades before (when he was too selfish to intervene), stomaching the live stoning of a burka-clad woman and her adulterous lover, taking a beating from an old enemy/Taliban child molestor, giving $2000 to a poor smuggler who tries to feed his kids on $3 a week, and saving a 12 year-old from suicide. If Hosseini REALLY did all this, what a hero he would be. Instead, he just makes it up and calles it a novel ... and people devour this shit with tears, labeling it as "inspirational" and "moving."
What really bothers me? Besides all of the contrived and predictable plot twists?? What really disturbs me is that people not only eat this shit up, but they also call it "literature," award it, and give this guy money and license to write another book.
For lack of better words ... WTF?!!!??! Has everyone just gone STUPID?!!?!?
I could go on about how the writing sucks, especially when the author admits to using cliches (elephant in the room, dark as night, thin as a rake, et fucking c) but I won't.
Why? A couple of reasons:
1) If you liked this book, a part of you is sick, and a larger part of you is an idiot
2) I could write a 100-page thesis about how much this book blew monkey chunks, but it's not worth my time
3) This shit sells, and Hosseini, between his stupid book and movie deals, is an even richer man than he was before ... which in the end, makes him smarter than you, me, and everyone else .... He understands the market and fed it back to us. We probably deserve it.
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Reading Progress
Started Reading
May 11, 2008
– Shelved as:
sucked
May 11, 2008
– Shelved
May 11, 2008
–
Finished Reading
July 7, 2008
– Shelved as:
middle_east
May 12, 2010
– Shelved as:
worst-garbage-i-ve-ever-read
March 21, 2012
– Shelved as:
rants
Comments Showing 1-50 of 265 (265 new)
message 1:
by
Jessica
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
May 11, 2008 08:53AM
![Jessica](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1283427299p1/777369.jpg)
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![Jackie Gill](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1538064566p1/1159664.jpg)
LMAO! I loved that line - Well put! Although, most of the idiots are probably not reading these reviews, it is nice to know that there are a few people in the world with more than one brain cell! The acceptance and praise of this book shows how illiterate how world has become.
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![Jackie Gill](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1538064566p1/1159664.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
I don't find myself searching goodreads for positive reviews of this book so that I can voice my disagreement. Shay seems to have done the opposite. My review isn't meant to even be anything aside from a pissed of rant, which I can do here, uncensored (unlike on amazon.com), so it really matters little to me what people think ... unless they agree with me, as it seems we're a small minority. That makes it interesting.
I strongly disagree that "Whatever happened in the author's life is irrelevant." When you take English 101 in college, the first thing they make you learn about is the author, his life, his times, and his experiences so you can use those facts in analysing the prose. What happened in the writer's life and times is TOTALLY relevant. What makes this book such a cop-out is that it obviously started as a memoir ... by the middle, it's all become a self-congratulating and self-aggrandizing work of embellishment, which so many Oprah Book Club nerds now call "fiction," or worse, "literature."
I still think this book sucks and that people who like it lack an understanding of literature and are moved by manipulative prose. So sue me. Oh wait, you can't. :)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
You're obviously assuming that your cute, "insult-free" reviews are better than mine. I simply said "If you like this book, a large part of you is sick and a larger part of you is an idiot." Your review of the same book said "Like I said, I'm a sucker." I call you a sucker but you don't like it, but you insult yourself and it's a "good" review?
Don't like it?
Read someone else's happy-go-lucky reviews.
![Kelly](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_25x33-d79c46f9428d2aea1444d67c091766a6.png)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![Danielle](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_25x33-d79c46f9428d2aea1444d67c091766a6.png)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
The book offended me and enraged me because it obviously started out as an autobigraphy and turned into a self-congratulating piece of crap fiction, the kind adored by idiots the world over, Oprah, and yourself, clearly.
Here's an idea. If you don't like my review, get the hell of my page, and get in the long line of people waiting to blow Oprah, Hosseini, and all of the other people made famous by the stupidity of people like YOU.
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
Your comment translates to this: "Don't criticize people, it's wrong and mean, you stupid idiot! I'm telling teacher!"
Yet another half-wit proving my point about this book.
NEXT!
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![El](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1479156984p1/83144.jpg)
![Jessica](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1283427299p1/777369.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
Since I have a job, a life, and things to do in general, I don't have time to respond to everything, but let me touch on a couple of your points.
1) I didn't like this book. If you don't like my review, then don't read it. If you leave a comment, great, but can you try editing it? Shorten it, cut what's not necessary, make a logical arugment, tighten up the language and ... in short, get to the point instead of meandering like a WWI vet on acid.
2) "It seems to me your techniques of argumentation need a tune up." No, actually they don't, because I'm not trying to make an argument, I'm expressing my OPINION about why I didn't like this shitty book. Maybe you haven't learned this yet, dear, but after one graduates from college, you no longer have to write papers (those are kinda like what YOUR teacher calls a book report).
3) No, I don't know Ann Coulter. Do you? Does it matter? The point I made was that if you can't spell or use proper grammar when the person you're attacking can, then stop embarrassing yourself and get off my page.
4) Do I think I'm superior? Maybe. Do I think I have superior taste to those who love this book? Definitely. Thank you for your input, Freud.
5) I did actually delete one comment because this stupid chick was wasting both her and my time leaving annoying messages all over my page -- you've obviously seen her other posts, because you've taken the time to poke around on my other reviews and copy/paste her stuff here. Anyway, I ended up googling her and found her photo and work info ... then I just felt sorry for her.
6) "unless you disagree, could you please change 'recommended for: Morons who enjoy this kind of crap'." NO. This is MY page, MY review, and last time I checked, I can say whatever I want. If it offends you, use that God-given finger of yours and click elsewhere.
So, cute critique on my review. I'd pat you on the head and send you on your merry way if I could. Instead, let me say a couple of things... I assume you're about a middle-school to high-school age since your own writing is about as exciting and dynamic as watching snails mate. (Have you considered a career at the New Yorker for your future?)Anyway, you really need a life, considreing you started an account based on my review and then probably spent another hour writing your response. You're thinking too much there, kid. Maybe you should spend more time outside, in the fresh air, talking to girls and living a little.
Off you go now, it was your bed time hours ago.
![Jessica](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1283427299p1/777369.jpg)
You should feel honored.
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![Jessica](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1283427299p1/777369.jpg)
That is my analysis, given the evidence.
--Detective JT,
at your service.
![Lesley](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1334786161p1/2087392.jpg)
I am so glad somebody finally said this! This has been my feeling all along! People raved and raved about the Kite Runner which is why I read it and now I wish I never had. The horrific sexual abuse just haunts me. How everyone can so zealously embrace a book where little boys are being brutally sodomized...well, I just have no words for that.
THANK YOU for your review! I'm so glad somebody finally said it. I was beginning to think I was crazy for not getting on the Kite Runner band wagon.
![Jessica](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1283427299p1/777369.jpg)
We are the Anti-Kite-Runner Club!
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
I am so glad somebody finally said this! This has been my feeling all along! People raved and raved about the Kite Runner which is why I read it and ..."
A literary critic that I really enjoy is John Dolan. In reviewing another piece of crap book (one I didn't read, thank God) My Friend Leonard by James Frey, Dolan talks about "tearjerker porn," which I think defines The Kite Runner.
Dolan basically says that there are novels that build up to this cathartic release of tears in a sick or vile scene, similar to the structure of the >ahem< money shot in porn.
"This is typical tearjerking-porn structure: the point is simply to get to the fuck scene and squirt. The fact that ... readers want to squirt tears rather than semen makes this an especially sleazy kind of porn." Well-said.
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
Got to ch..."
Heehee...here's a good place to start: http://www.exile.ru/articles/detail.p...
and then http://exiledonline.com/frey%E2%80%99...
Can I vote for a thread? I love all the twists and turns the comments have taken. The final comments on emotional pornography are especially interesting.
Thanks Elizabeth, for pointing this thread out.
And La Petit, that was some excellent vitriol.
Thanks Elizabeth, for pointing this thread out.
And La Petit, that was some excellent vitriol.
![Ken Larking](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/m_25x33-8a3530ed95c3dbef8bf215b080559b09.png)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
Yep, it continues 3 years later. Kinda warms my black little heart. :)
![Anne](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_25x33-ccd24e68f4773d33a41ce08c3a34892e.png)
![Margo Berendsen](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1275575714p1/3744065.jpg)
![Peter Xiao](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1517724391p1/4026261.jpg)
![Gin](https://cdn.statically.io/img/s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_25x33-d79c46f9428d2aea1444d67c091766a6.png)
As for the "sick" parts, are all people who like The Bluest Eye sick? Oh dear, and I won't even get into Lord of the Flies...little boys turning savage and killing each other has got to be just about as bad as whatever happens in Kite Runner.
Frankly I think you're an arrogant @%$#. I'm not offended because you insulted The Kite Runner, which I have never read. I don't even care that you call Hosseini a privileged man with a guilt complex, which may or may not be true. But you obviously think you're hot stuff for being able to see the "true nature" of this book while other less perceptive "idiots" "eat this shit up" and so I thought I'd try and take you down a notch--two years later. :P
![El](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1479156984p1/83144.jpg)
It really just does come down to people's insecurities.
![Joline Pruitt](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1349801123p1/3185743.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![Joline Pruitt](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1349801123p1/3185743.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)
![Joline Pruitt](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1349801123p1/3185743.jpg)
![La Petite Américaine](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1218985191p1/59329.jpg)