Lori's Reviews > While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

"While You Were Out" serves as journalist's Meg Kissinger's memoir, shedding light on her upbringing and family and the underlying motivation for much of her investigative work on mental illness. Growing up in the middle of 7 siblings in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg's upbringing could have followed the typical American storyline but became wrought with tragedy and loss, losing her sister Nancy and later her brother Danny to suicide, as well as both of her parents, Holmer and Jean, to cancer. Beyond just a simple recounting of her family's past, however, she looks into the underlying events and factors that contributed to these devastating losses - from the societal pressures for women to have large families, the unrestrained prescribing of drugs like Valium, the alcoholism that both of her parents succumbed to, and how overlooked and denied mental health and illness was during that time.

In full transparency, this is a difficult read. Looking back on this period of time, especially as a woman, is especially frustrating - Kissinger shares just how tumultuous her childhood was with parents barely managing their own mental health (one bipolar and manic, the other struggling with severe anxiety) that was only compounded by substance addiction. Especially as a child, she was helpless to do anything aside from watch her parents self-destruct and bear witness to the affect this had on her siblings. We follow as well the tragic domino effect of each loss within the family, and how inescapable grief and pain seemingly become as time goes on.

I really have to commend Meg Kissinger for not only sharing these dark, painful moments from her family's past, but taking these experiences and pivoting them into something good. Some of her initial work was deeply personal pieces about losing both a sister and brother to suicide, but she was also able to turn the spotlight onto other families and individuals who were struggling, highlighting the pitfalls and weaknesses of the public health system and the lack of understanding of mental illness by society as a whole. While this not a book that I would recommend to anyone given the myriad of topics covered, it is an eye-opening look into how severely mental illness can impact individuals beyond the one who's struggling, especially across families and society as a whole.

Than you Celadon Books for the advance copy of this novel!