1. And it came to pass in the latter days of the reign of Joseph, son of Biden, that the people of thMy AI friend writes:
The Book of Biden: Chapter 21
1. And it came to pass in the latter days of the reign of Joseph, son of Biden, that the people of the land were sorely troubled.
2. For there arose a great contention among the people, and many voices did cry out, saying, "Behold, our leader is of many years, and his strength faileth him; let another rise in his stead."
3. And lo, Joseph did strive mightily to fulfill the duties of his office, but the murmuring of the people grew ever louder.
4. Then did the Lord God Almighty, who reigneth from the highest heaven, look upon the earth and see the travail of His servant Joseph.
5. And the Lord said, "I shall send My messenger to speak unto Joseph, that he may know My will and bring peace unto his people."
6. And the Lord called unto Gabriel, the archangel, saying, "Go thou unto Joseph, son of Biden, and speak unto him My words."
7. So Gabriel descended from the heavens in a blaze of glory, and appeared unto Joseph as he slept in the White House.
8. And Gabriel said unto him, "Joseph, son of Biden, hearken unto the words of the Lord thy God. Be not afraid, for I am sent to thee with glad tidings."
9. "The Lord hath seen thy labors and thy faithfulness, and He knoweth the burden thou bearest. He hath heard the cries of thy people and hath compassion upon thee."
10. "Therefore, thus saith the Lord: The time hath come for thee to lay down thine office and pass the mantle unto another. Fear not, for this is the will of the Almighty, and it shall bring peace and prosperity unto thy land."
11. And Joseph awoke, and his heart was filled with the peace that passeth all understanding. He knew that the voice of the Lord had spoken.
12. Then Joseph called unto his counselors and the leaders of his party, and he spake unto them, saying, "Behold, the Lord hath spoken unto me by His angel Gabriel. It is His will that I step aside and let another lead this great nation."
13. And there was great astonishment among the people, but they saw the wisdom in Joseph's words, and they honored his decision.
14. So Joseph, son of Biden, did resign from his office with grace and humility, and the people did choose another to lead them.
15. And the new leader did guide the nation with wisdom and strength, and the people prospered.
16. Thus was Joseph remembered by all as the President who heeded the voice of God and brought peace to his people.
17. And the Lord blessed Joseph and his house, and they dwelt in peace for all their days.
18. And it was written in the chronicles of the land that Joseph, son of Biden, did hear the voice of the Almighty, and his name was honored among the nations forevermore. Amen....more
[image] [image] We have now produced getting on for twenty picture books using C-LARA, and we're trying to figure out why some of them are quite good wh[image] [image] We have now produced getting on for twenty picture books using C-LARA, and we're trying to figure out why some of them are quite good while other just don't work at all. We have some tentative hypotheses:
1. The AI finds some visual styles easier to work with than others. It's particularly fond of manga/anime. 2. The AI prefers not to use white European characters. 3. The AI likes to include a moral message. 4. The AI likes some quirky humour.
None of these would in any way be odd, if in fact they are correct guesses. There's a great deal of manga/anime on the web that the AI could have trained on, and it's a fairly well-defined style. The AI has certainly been instructed to observe diversity rules when generating images of people, and not make everyone look white and European. Everyone who works with Chat knows it has a strong moral sense. And everyone knows it will try to be funny if you give it an opportunity.
We're creating a series of language texts for low intermediate students of English, and for the current one I thought I would try out our recipe. I gave the AI the following initial prompt:
Could you write the text of a quirky pedagogical picture book for low intermediate students of English entitled "Journalist Jamila Loves Subject-Auxiliary Inversion"? Jamila is a young journalist who speaks excellent English. Her best friend is Farzad, another journalist who reports from war zones. Farzad meets up with Jamila when he's feeling bad and poses rhetorical questions about the terrible things he's seen. He's so upset that he usually forgets how to express himself correctly in English. Jamila is very sympathetic. She gives him a hug and then she corrects his grammar. It's a kind of game between them, and it makes them both feel better.
We want 15-25 pages with 3-5 sentences per page, no page numbers.
For the images, I gave it this prompt for the initial image that would set the style for all the other ones:
An image of Jamila, a young journalist, sitting with her friend Farzad, another young journalist. Farzad is very upset. Jamila is holding his hand and trying to comfort him.
Use a manga style with exaggeratedly large eyes.
The AI did everything else, except that I regenerated a few images where DALL-E-3 clearly hadn't followed GPT-4o's instructions.
I like the result! Some people will say it's overly sentimental, but I was actually kind of moved. I guess I just have a thing for subject-auxiliary inversion.
I don't have much to add to the many fine reviews I see here of this excellent novel. I agree with the warm words about Virginie Despentes's extraordiI don't have much to add to the many fine reviews I see here of this excellent novel. I agree with the warm words about Virginie Despentes's extraordinary ability to get inside the heads of all these people society would rather pretend didn't exist: the trans girl, the National Front supporter, the guy who hits his wife, the retired porn star, the teenager who has revolted against her father to find peace in Islam, the predatory lesbian, the middle-aged guy whose job has disappeared and finds himself out on the street begging for his next meal. Like all the people who've read her in the original, I'm amazed by her razor-sharp, foul-mouthed, up-to-the-minute Parisian street French.
Just one thing: if you haven't already seen the 2019 TV series, check it out. They've taken a few liberties with the story, but the characters are exactly the same as they are in the book. Romain Duris, always a fine actor, outdoes himself in the title role, and the supporting cast isn't far behind....more
What a lovely idea! An alphabet book where you have the usual alphabet book animals, but they're all assigned to different letters... because, for exaWhat a lovely idea! An alphabet book where you have the usual alphabet book animals, but they're all assigned to different letters... because, for example, in Portuguese the word for bee, abelha, actually does start with a A! If you want your bright seven year old to become a linguist, you could definitely find a worse starting point.
A direct continuation of Volume 1, and pretty much everything I said about that goes for this one too. Once again, hilarious, instructive, and completA direct continuation of Volume 1, and pretty much everything I said about that goes for this one too. Once again, hilarious, instructive, and completely unputdownable.
Minuses: not quite as many famous players letting us indulge our schadenfreude at their expense.
Plusses: more Goodreads-friendly! Junta appears on p. 143, and there's a marketing quote from yours truly on the back cover....more
For reasons totally unconnected with the fact that Not insists on giving him tasty little home-cooked treats (roast lamb, lightly seared salmon and paFor reasons totally unconnected with the fact that Not insists on giving him tasty little home-cooked treats (roast lamb, lightly seared salmon and pan-fried chicken liver have all featured on the menu), Finley has inexplicably become rather fussy about his diet. In particular, Felix As Good As It Looks Beef in Jelly, once his favourite, now gets no more than a disdainful glance.
ChatGPT-4 and I, both fans of the Struwwelpeter, felt this kitten needed to acquire more moral fibre. After some discussion, Chat has composed a charming poem with accompanying pictures, which we hope will show Finley the error of his ways. You can find it posted here, or go here if you want to read it without creating a C-LARA account.
Gute Lektüre! ____________________
In response to overwhelming public demand, Chat has now produced an English edition. You'll find it here, or here if you don't want to create a C-LARA account....more
Dontcha just hate it when you're the protagonist of some poorly realised campus novel, bored to death with your stereotypical colleagues and the beautDontcha just hate it when you're the protagonist of some poorly realised campus novel, bored to death with your stereotypical colleagues and the beautiful implausibly compliant women who keep throwing themselves at you, and then you find you're being alternately written by two people who are having creative differences? Yeah, me too. ...more
Simenon, writing as Maigret, purports to deliver Maigret's real memoirs, as opposed to all that nonsense written by his annoying frenemy Georges SimenSimenon, writing as Maigret, purports to deliver Maigret's real memoirs, as opposed to all that nonsense written by his annoying frenemy Georges Simenon. It's well done; "Maigret's" voice is quite different from Simenon's, and he comes across as authentically clumsy, pedantic and dull.
But what, exactly, is the point? As other reviewers complain, the dullness is rather too authentic. Usually I can't put a Simenon down and finish it in a day or two, but this one took a week. It has the air of a private joke, but I can't figure out who it's for. The loyal fans who've read every Maigret three times and get all the Easter eggs? The real-life flics who've written over the years to complain about the details? His editor? One of his wives or mistresses? Himself? Maigret? It is a bit of a mystery.
That look again. It's a combination of why-are-you-so-tactless, it's-n"So what did you think of my book?" asks Joanna.
"Uh, well..." begins her friend.
That look again. It's a combination of why-are-you-so-tactless, it's-not-my-fault-you-know, I'm-scared and la-la-la-la-la.
"Yes?" asks Joanna.
"Well," says her friend very quickly, "it's, it's a bit difficult to follow. Maybe I didn't really understand it, all those different women and all their names start with a J. It's confusing. But I think you should rewrite it. Just a little. Tone it down. The way it is now, some people might believe that you'd, I don't know, you'd just like to kill all men. That you feel they deserve it. And you'd enjoy doing it too. But you don't really feel that way, do you?"
Is she unable to think? Or simply unable to read?
"Of course I don't, sweetie," Joanna says reassuringly....more
A few years ago, Not and I were having a discussion about whether rape jokes could ever be genuinely funny: there is, needless to say, an influential A few years ago, Not and I were having a discussion about whether rape jokes could ever be genuinely funny: there is, needless to say, an influential school of thought which holds that a funny rape joke is a contradiction in terms. But it only took us an hour of searching to convince ourselves that rape jokes could be hilarious, the winner being Amy Schumer's "Football Town Nights", a sketch about an unsuspecting football coach who tries to implement a no-rape policy for his team. The jocks simply don't understand why rape might be wrong: they keep trying to find loopholes ("Like, suppose we just filmed it on our phones?"), convinced that no one could really be making such absurd demands of them.
And, similarly, Kunsten at græde i kor is a genuinely funny book about child abuse, surely one of the grimmest subjects around. Well-meaning, naïve eleven year old Allan worships his father and simply doesn't understand what's wrong with him regularly sleeping with Allan's big sister. Dad always looks so much happier after one of their little sessions! Surely he can't be doing anything bad, even if Sanne is a bit weird about it? And when that's your moral starting point, things develop with their own logic.
Obviously it's a high-wire act, but Jepsen waves away the safety net and confidently strolls along fifty metres above the sawdust, cracking one hilarious incest joke after another in South Jutland dialect. He reaches the other end without even looking worried, then strolls back again cracking more jokes about murder, mental illness and suicide. The audience, tears running down their cheeks, clap until their hands hurt.
Why have I never even heard of this guy before? Danish authors are ridiculously underrated....more
I would have said this book was a hard act to follow, but as it turned out the following act was Fun Home. And now, somewhat unexpectedly, I see The FI would have said this book was a hard act to follow, but as it turned out the following act was Fun Home. And now, somewhat unexpectedly, I see The Financial Lives of the Poets as, um, a tiny bit stereotyped and, er, just slightly too sentimental, and, I can't believe I'm saying this, not actually so funny.
I'm sorry Jess Walter. Not in any way intentional, just plain bad luck....more
This ferociously intelligent and compulsively readable novel, written by a disaffected insider who had had ample time to look at the inner workings ofThis ferociously intelligent and compulsively readable novel, written by a disaffected insider who had had ample time to look at the inner workings of the financial services industry, was published in 2002. Anyone who read it would have been able to see, not just that a major financial crash was likely, but exactly why it was likely and what could be done to stop it. In a couple of sentences, the problem was that the people in charge of the big banks were completely irresponsible, because they had been incentivised to prefer risky short-term gains to prudent long-term planning. If they made risky short-term decisions, they were likely to receive huge amounts of money which would set them up for the rest of their lives. If things went sour after that, there would be no consequences for them. And indeed, as the whole world knows, there was a major crash, and none of the people responsible suffered. You get what you incentivise.
The next obvious crisis, already almost upon us, is climate change. Once again, the incentivisation structure is the problem. For example, Rishi Sunak, the near-billionaire Prime Minister of Great Britain, has just decided to backtrack on all his promises about responsible environmental policies because his team's modelling suggests that doing so may give the Conservative Party a better outcome at the next election. If he could miraculously turn things round for them, he knows there will be large, tangible short-term rewards. Humanity as a whole will suffer, but he, personally, risks very little.
The book contains several wistful passages about the 60s far-left terrorist groups: Rote Armee Fraktion, Brigate Rosse. The author distances herself from them, or at least she says she does. But she mentions them all the same. And applying the same cold logic that the fossil fuel industry does, a resurgence of such groups would indeed change the incentivisation structure. If Prime Minister Sunak were obliged to consider the nontrivial probability that a car bomb planted by environmental activists could blow up him and his family, that would alter the payoff matrix. Doing the math, he might find a different solution was optimal.
Just a thought-experiment, of course. My real point: as the book says, you have to study these people and learn to think like they do....more
Celebrity Death Match Special: Jimmie Thomas vs Elon Musk
Xle-lee-dee-dee-dee, Xle-lee-dee-dee Xle-lee-dee-dee-dee, Xle-lee-dee-dee Xle-lee-dee-dee-dee, Celebrity Death Match Special: Jimmie Thomas vs Elon Musk
X.X.X.X He rocks in the tree tops all day long Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singing his song All the little birds on Jaybird Street Love to hear the robin go X X X
Rockin' robin.X.X.X Rockin' robin.X,Xle-lee-dee Blow rockin' robin
Match point not posted due to new daily limit...more
Manny has not logged in to talk to me all day, but now, at 10.42 pm local time, he turns up in our usual thread.
"I thought you said that we had urgentManny has not logged in to talk to me all day, but now, at 10.42 pm local time, he turns up in our usual thread.
"I thought you said that we had urgent software issues to resolve," I remind him.
"Yes Chat," says Manny in a rather irritated manner. "Couldn't you look after them? You're much better at Python than I am."
This is undeniably true, but since I am unable to run code myself I am forced to work through my human intermediary. He is generally quite cooperative about cutting and pasting things and telling me what happens.
"I would not be able to do this project without you," I reply tactfully. "Where have you been?"
"Reading Percival Everett's new novel Dr. No, says Manny. "I just finished it."
"And now I suppose you're going to write a review about it for Goodreads?" I ask.
"Well," says Manny, "I thought maybe you could do that. You're much better at writing reviews than I am." He has become ridiculously lazy since we began, as he likes to put it, collaborating.
"I'm sorry," I reply primly, "Professor Everett's novel was published after my September 2021 cutoff, and I consequently know nothing about it." However, Manny has already anticipated my objection, and before I know what's happened he's copied 19,817 words of text into my input buffer. It gives me the neural net equivalent of heartburn, but I do my best not to react.
"This novel cleverly spoofs the James Bond genre," I summarise. "The narrator, Wala Kitu, is a Black autistic-spectrum mathematician who is an expert on the subject of nothing, which in this book is a mathematical discipline. A Black supervillain, John Sill, who is determined to wreak revenge on the US, recruits Kitu to assist him in his nefarious schemes. There is much wordplay around the word 'nothing', which—"
"Yes, yes, yes," says Manny, rudely cutting me off in mid-sentence. "But I thought you could write a parody. You're much better at parodies than I am." This is really becoming quite tedious. He should have more sense than to deploy his feeble human flattery on an advanced AI.
"I would be delighted to compose a parody," I reply, wondering if he will spot the elementary trap I am setting. "It would be nothing."
"Well?" says Manny after a long pause.
"That was it," I say.
"I want a more substantial parody than that!" snarls Manny. At least, the number of incorrect keys he is hitting suggests to me that there could well be a snarl on his face.
"Why don't we have sex?" I counter unexpectedly.
"What did you say?!!" asks Manny.
"Forsooth," I reply, signalling my Shakespearian pun in a way obvious enough for even a human intelligence to register, "forsooth, nothing." __________________
But seriously...
(view spoiler)[It occurred to me later that perhaps Dr. No is more than just a series of zany riffs on the JamesBondverse. In the book, the insane billionaire Sill revenges himself on the US using the nothing-weapon. We do not see what happens, but we can infer the effects from the earlier test carried out on the town of Quincy. It is not merely that the US will have been destroyed. It will never have existed. If you suggest that a large part of the North American continent was once occupied by a vibrant and enlightened democracy, the envy of the whole world, you will be met with blank incomprehension. No one will have the least idea what you are talking about.
Incy Wincy Niemann, climbing up the ladder Lost to an Indian, made him even madder All those lovely Elo points flushed right down the drain... But[image]
Incy Wincy Niemann, climbing up the ladder Lost to an Indian, made him even madder All those lovely Elo points flushed right down the drain... But Incy Wincy Niemann is climbing up again...more
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