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Shawn McDaniel #1
Stuck in Neutral
Shawn McDaniel is an enigma and a miracle except no one knows it, least of all his father. His life is not what it may seem to anyone looking at him. Not even those who love him best have any idea what he is truly like. In this extraordinary and powerful first novel, the reader learns to look beyond the obvious and finds a character whose spirit is rich beyond imagining and whose story is unforgettable.
My life is like one of those "good news-bad news" jokes. Like, "I've got some good news and some bad newswhich do you want first?"
I could go on about my good news for hours, but you probably want to hear the punch line, my bad news, right? Well, there isn't that much, really, but what's here is pretty wild. First off, my parents got divorced ten years ago because of me. My being born changed everything for all of us, in every way. My dad didn't divorce my mom, or my sister, Cindy, or my brother, Paulhe divorced me. He couldn't handle my condition, so he had to leave. My condition? Well, that brings us to the guts of my bad news.
114 pages, Paperback
First published June 30, 2000
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,350 reviews
August 18, 2007
This book is a frightening little package of really intense ableism, and of course it's been heaped with accolades. The author's life very closely parallels that of his characters--he has a "severely disabled" son with cerebral palsy and has won acclaim/prizes for writing about it, and draws much of the material from his own personal experience as detailed in the afterward. Most disturbing in light of that is that it's unclear whether or not the disabled character is killed by his father because of a supposed diminished "quality of life," and the book sympathetically portrays a parent who DOES kill their disabled child. I'd hate to be Trueman's real son. Watch your back kid. I'm sick of literature/movies that project non-disabled people's fears, hatred and insecurities on disabled people and then kill us off because of our unsubstatiated "suffering," which is actually just based on non-disabled people's ideas about how our lives "should be." This book sympathetically argues about killing disabled people, and got lots of prizes. Ick. Ack. Bllllllpt. Argh. Eeeek. Hate. It.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 19, 2012
I have to think for a while about how to rate this book. I am definitely adding it to my "most disturbing" list. The plot of this book involves a boy who can remember everything he's ever heard. He's clever and mostly happy and loving, but he's trapped. Trapped inside his body, unable to exercise control over anything but his brain. The book is interesting from the POV aspect, wondering what it would be like to be so intelligent but for everyone else to think you are retarded. To be privy to conversations all the time, sometimes even conversations about you, because everyone either forgets you are there or doesn't think enough of you to place a value on your presence.
This isn't my review, I'll write more later, but the most disturbing aspect of this book is that the father left the family when Shawn (the boy with cerebral palsy) was 4,because he couldn't handle it and throughout the book, Shawn wonders if his father is going to kill him. (he "loves Shawn too much" so he might have "to end his suffering") It is painful to read a book, knowing what Shawn is thinking, knowing no one else has any clue. It is scary and sad and I'm not sure if I liked this book at all. However, it's definitely unlike anything else I've ever read and it's provocative.
Okay, I'm back:
This book is one of the creepiest I've ever read, no question. Stuck in Neutral is about an intelligent child who is a prisoner in his own body. While Shawn's mind is fully functional, he has no control over any other part of his body and the entire world, including his family, believes him to be intellectually disabled. Every so often, he is struck by a seizure. Shawn has come to love these times because he feels like he can break free of his body and partake in the world. His father, however, sees his child in pain. Shawn's dad left the family home when Shawn was a child because he couldn't deal with his son's cerebral palsy. He also wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning poem about Shawn's birth and early years and still gets lauded for doing so. (I am not usually into "fake award-winning writing within novels" and I wasn't into this poem) The creepy factor came into play when the narrator, Shawn, informs the reader that he believes his father is going to murder him. This short book explores what it might be like for a child inside an immovable body, what it might be like as a father who is always wondering what is going on in the mind of his son who can never tell him. I won't tell you the ending but I will tell you one more thing: Terry Trueman is the father of a son with cerebral palsy. I cannot imagine what life would be like to be constantly wondering what, if anything, your child is thinking or to know if they are in pain.Stuck in Neutral is absolutely a worthwhile read with a unique narrator. I can't guarantee this book won't make you feel awkward but it will certainly widen your perspective a bit. 3.5/5 stars
This mini-review was part of a series of 7 mini-reviews of short YA books I wrote for a post over at our blog, The Readventurer.
This isn't my review, I'll write more later, but the most disturbing aspect of this book is that the father left the family when Shawn (the boy with cerebral palsy) was 4,because he couldn't handle it and throughout the book, Shawn wonders if his father is going to kill him. (he "loves Shawn too much" so he might have "to end his suffering") It is painful to read a book, knowing what Shawn is thinking, knowing no one else has any clue. It is scary and sad and I'm not sure if I liked this book at all. However, it's definitely unlike anything else I've ever read and it's provocative.
Okay, I'm back:
This book is one of the creepiest I've ever read, no question. Stuck in Neutral is about an intelligent child who is a prisoner in his own body. While Shawn's mind is fully functional, he has no control over any other part of his body and the entire world, including his family, believes him to be intellectually disabled. Every so often, he is struck by a seizure. Shawn has come to love these times because he feels like he can break free of his body and partake in the world. His father, however, sees his child in pain. Shawn's dad left the family home when Shawn was a child because he couldn't deal with his son's cerebral palsy. He also wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning poem about Shawn's birth and early years and still gets lauded for doing so. (I am not usually into "fake award-winning writing within novels" and I wasn't into this poem) The creepy factor came into play when the narrator, Shawn, informs the reader that he believes his father is going to murder him. This short book explores what it might be like for a child inside an immovable body, what it might be like as a father who is always wondering what is going on in the mind of his son who can never tell him. I won't tell you the ending but I will tell you one more thing: Terry Trueman is the father of a son with cerebral palsy. I cannot imagine what life would be like to be constantly wondering what, if anything, your child is thinking or to know if they are in pain.Stuck in Neutral is absolutely a worthwhile read with a unique narrator. I can't guarantee this book won't make you feel awkward but it will certainly widen your perspective a bit. 3.5/5 stars
This mini-review was part of a series of 7 mini-reviews of short YA books I wrote for a post over at our blog, The Readventurer.
March 24, 2008
Stuck in Neutral Terry Trueman, ISBN 0-06-447213-2, 114 pg. $6.99
This book, Stuck in Neutral, by Terry Trueman is one of the best books that I have ever read.
It’s about a teenage boy named Shawn McDaniel. He has cerebral palsy; a condition where you can’t move a muscle in your body and can’t communicate with anyone other than yourself. Shawn can only say things through his thoughts in a first person view. Shawn thinks of himself as dead-like, yet intelligent. Shawn’s dad can’t see him suffering, so he is planning to kill him, but Shawn wishes that he could talk so that he can tell his father that he doesn’t want to die. Hopefully, Shawn's father doesn’t kill him. Sad and worried, Shawn is between a life and death experience.
The story has a bunch of twist and turns, that will glue your eyes to the book over and over again until you memorize each page, each word, and each punctuation mark. It is an excellent book.
This book, Stuck in Neutral, by Terry Trueman is one of the best books that I have ever read.
It’s about a teenage boy named Shawn McDaniel. He has cerebral palsy; a condition where you can’t move a muscle in your body and can’t communicate with anyone other than yourself. Shawn can only say things through his thoughts in a first person view. Shawn thinks of himself as dead-like, yet intelligent. Shawn’s dad can’t see him suffering, so he is planning to kill him, but Shawn wishes that he could talk so that he can tell his father that he doesn’t want to die. Hopefully, Shawn's father doesn’t kill him. Sad and worried, Shawn is between a life and death experience.
The story has a bunch of twist and turns, that will glue your eyes to the book over and over again until you memorize each page, each word, and each punctuation mark. It is an excellent book.
January 27, 2022
This is a short book, but I still didn't finish it. I was too disturbed by the thought that the author maybe wanted to kill his own son and was using this novel as a way of working through that.
Also, and this is kind of strange, the first few chapters reminded me of Bud, Not Buddy because the narrators in both are kids in a terrible situation who are just so darn upbeat about everything. And by "upbeat" I don't mean optimistic, I mean they use a lot of whimsical expression punctuated with exclamation points like "Golly!" and "Gee whiz!"
Trigger warning: the main character calls himself a "retardate" and says he's a "real retard" and a "total retard" as if that is an acceptable label for someone with CP.
Also, and this is kind of strange, the first few chapters reminded me of Bud, Not Buddy because the narrators in both are kids in a terrible situation who are just so darn upbeat about everything. And by "upbeat" I don't mean optimistic, I mean they use a lot of whimsical expression punctuated with exclamation points like "Golly!" and "Gee whiz!"
Trigger warning: the main character calls himself a "retardate" and says he's a "real retard" and a "total retard" as if that is an acceptable label for someone with CP.
February 12, 2023
I am so glad I came across this book while browsing and browsing for books.
This is a short middle grade book dealing with disability with parents “struggling” and really having it hard while trying to look after every need of their kids who are differently abled.
Now did I rate this book a perfect five stars? No, of course not. But I would want another reader to pick up this book, think about it, feel bad and feel provoked, speak about the parents who seem so wrong and who seem helpless in whatever they decide to do about their kids. I know people will absolutely hate this book regarding the parents and their behaviour, actually might be seen as heartless characters. I would like others to see all these and feel what I felt while reading this book!
There’s absolutely one thing we should all not really like this father. But also I feel the opinion expressed in the plot is valid for discussion. However, I still feel it’s a bit heartless and hurtful to even think about it.
I want to rate this book no lesser than three stars to four stars thinking about all these issues.
There’s a lot of bullying as well.
And there aren’t any character to like. They are just as real as they are.
But I like this book as the representation of the main character is done well and their personality is quite understandable. It’s a well written book told from the perspective of a differently abled younger person.
If I need to write a proper essay I would do so.
This is a short middle grade book dealing with disability with parents “struggling” and really having it hard while trying to look after every need of their kids who are differently abled.
Now did I rate this book a perfect five stars? No, of course not. But I would want another reader to pick up this book, think about it, feel bad and feel provoked, speak about the parents who seem so wrong and who seem helpless in whatever they decide to do about their kids. I know people will absolutely hate this book regarding the parents and their behaviour, actually might be seen as heartless characters. I would like others to see all these and feel what I felt while reading this book!
There’s absolutely one thing we should all not really like this father. But also I feel the opinion expressed in the plot is valid for discussion. However, I still feel it’s a bit heartless and hurtful to even think about it.
I want to rate this book no lesser than three stars to four stars thinking about all these issues.
There’s a lot of bullying as well.
And there aren’t any character to like. They are just as real as they are.
But I like this book as the representation of the main character is done well and their personality is quite understandable. It’s a well written book told from the perspective of a differently abled younger person.
If I need to write a proper essay I would do so.
June 4, 2008
Stuck in Neutral is the story of a young, disabled boy who suspects his father of trying to kill him. The boy has absolutely no means of communication, and is unable to express to his family how he really feels. Although he is brilliant and smarter than most, his family thinks he has no idea what is going on. He feels trapped in his own body, stuck in neutral. His father struggles with the thought that his son could be suffering, and contemplates killing him in order to end that suffering. I loved this book. I grew up with a brother who has cerebral palsey. Even though he is able to communicate, I always did wonder about the things he had to go through to deal with his disability. This book made me think alot about him, and made me realize how much I look up to him. I wouldn't be able to deal with the things he has had to live with, and still turn out to be such a strong person. I also realized how hard my life has been because of the fact that he has that disease, and how complicated it can make things. Stuck in Neutral is not a book about disabilities or murder, but about how far you would go to help the ones you love. It will also get you thinking about how much you think you know, and how much you really do know. You will second guess a lot of things you thought you were sure of. I recommend it to everyone.
December 11, 2020
Context: I'm a 20-something chronically ill person who works as a special education assistant at a school for children with all range of disabilities. I don't usually write book reviews, but I've been writing about disability-related content so this is my first official post on GR.
I just gave up on Stuck in Neutral by Terry Trueman after about 50 pages (for context, the book is only about 110 pages). I hate it. I hate it more than I have ever hated a book I’ve read before. I usually donate books I don’t like, but this one is going directly in the garbage bin because I don’t want to pass it on to another reader.
Let me tell you a little about this Pulitzer Prize (?!?!?!) winning book. It was published in 2000 but that is recent enough that it doesn’t get a pass on ableism.
The book is narrated by fictional 14-year-old Shawn, a boy with cerebral palsy who is unable to control his movements, speech, etc., and therefore the people around him think he is essentially a “vegetable” and “r-slur” (a word frequently used throughout the book, and apparently okay with the narrator and his family, though the author does denounce it in his afterword). Shawn’s father is a famous writer who gained his fame by writing a poem about how Shawn’s birth and consequent disabilities effectively ruined his life and marriage. Shawn believes his father is planning to kill him, which his father thinks will “put him out of his misery”.
Shawn’s thoughts / narrations in the book range from descriptions of his life and family, which I’ve mentioned above, to juvenile mentions of staring at women’s breasts when they’re near him, to boasting about his perfect memory that no one can know of, to describing how he is transported out of his body during seizures (which he enjoys??) and has these lucid visions in which he can walk, talk, etc. Like, I’m sorry, but from what orifice is this author spewing this bullshit from and why did people think it so groundbreaking as to win a literary award?
How interesting, you might think, that the author of this book has a son with very similar conditions to the main character. You might think he would use this to his advantage and access resources about disability education and advocacy in writing this book, but nowhere in his acknowledgements or afterword does he mention anyone of the sort. To put the icing on the cake, the first people he thanks in the acknowledgements are his “family, who I couldn’t write this without: [wife’s name] and [abled son’s name]”. No mention of the disabled son who inspired the entire book. None. That alone makes me angry - who cares if your son won’t read the book? You can’t even mention him in your dedication that includes your family and dozens of other friends and colleagues?
Call this a book review, call it a rant, call it whatever you want. But as an advocate who has a deep respect for people with all range of disabilities, I was disgusted by this book (after reading the first half) and did not bring myself to finish.
also posted this review on my tumblr: howtobeapersonwithfibro.tumblr.com
I just gave up on Stuck in Neutral by Terry Trueman after about 50 pages (for context, the book is only about 110 pages). I hate it. I hate it more than I have ever hated a book I’ve read before. I usually donate books I don’t like, but this one is going directly in the garbage bin because I don’t want to pass it on to another reader.
Let me tell you a little about this Pulitzer Prize (?!?!?!) winning book. It was published in 2000 but that is recent enough that it doesn’t get a pass on ableism.
The book is narrated by fictional 14-year-old Shawn, a boy with cerebral palsy who is unable to control his movements, speech, etc., and therefore the people around him think he is essentially a “vegetable” and “r-slur” (a word frequently used throughout the book, and apparently okay with the narrator and his family, though the author does denounce it in his afterword). Shawn’s father is a famous writer who gained his fame by writing a poem about how Shawn’s birth and consequent disabilities effectively ruined his life and marriage. Shawn believes his father is planning to kill him, which his father thinks will “put him out of his misery”.
Shawn’s thoughts / narrations in the book range from descriptions of his life and family, which I’ve mentioned above, to juvenile mentions of staring at women’s breasts when they’re near him, to boasting about his perfect memory that no one can know of, to describing how he is transported out of his body during seizures (which he enjoys??) and has these lucid visions in which he can walk, talk, etc. Like, I’m sorry, but from what orifice is this author spewing this bullshit from and why did people think it so groundbreaking as to win a literary award?
How interesting, you might think, that the author of this book has a son with very similar conditions to the main character. You might think he would use this to his advantage and access resources about disability education and advocacy in writing this book, but nowhere in his acknowledgements or afterword does he mention anyone of the sort. To put the icing on the cake, the first people he thanks in the acknowledgements are his “family, who I couldn’t write this without: [wife’s name] and [abled son’s name]”. No mention of the disabled son who inspired the entire book. None. That alone makes me angry - who cares if your son won’t read the book? You can’t even mention him in your dedication that includes your family and dozens of other friends and colleagues?
Call this a book review, call it a rant, call it whatever you want. But as an advocate who has a deep respect for people with all range of disabilities, I was disgusted by this book (after reading the first half) and did not bring myself to finish.
also posted this review on my tumblr: howtobeapersonwithfibro.tumblr.com
July 9, 2008
Incredible book! Terry Trueman is a REAL author.
Read
February 15, 2018Sick and twisted.
Thank you Sarah.
Thank you Sarah.
July 1, 2016
I didn’t know that this book was so controversial until I Googled it. People actually believe that this novel is proof that the author wants to murder his disabled son. I’m sorry, but that seems idiotic. If authors were as twisted as their characters, Stephen King would have been in prison 30 years ago. Books can’t be written in a vacuum. All authors are inspired by real life. Just because there are similarities between this book and the author’s life doesn’t mean that somebody’s going to get murdered. Be reasonable, people.
Okay. Stuck in Neutral is the story of fourteen-year-old Shawn, a boy with cerebral palsy. Shawn has no control over his body. He can’t move or speak. Since he has no way to communicate, he’s trapped inside his own head. Shawn’s father worries that Shawn’s condition is causing him pain that he’s unable to express. As Shawn’s father becomes more obsessed with his son’s possible pain, Shawn starts to wonder if his father is planning on killing him.
The summary makes this book sound intense—and it is—but it’s also surprisingly hilarious. The novel is written in first-person, so the reader gets to hear all of the thoughts that Shawn is unable to say. He’s very blunt about his situation:
Shawn’s life is not completely miserable. He acknowledges that his medical problem has some benefits. For example, he gets to see his sister’s friends change clothes at a sleepover because they don’t think he can understand what’s going on. Additionally, his seizures cause a dreamlike, floating feeling that makes him calm and happy. He’s taught himself to enjoy the little things in life.
Shawn’s sense of humor and positive attitude help tone down the intensity of the book. I actually had a lot of fun reading it.
My only big criticism is that this novel is very short. My copy is only about 115 pages. I think it could have benefitted from being longer. Shawn doesn’t have an action-packed existence, but I wondered about the other people in his life. Shawn’s mother is his full-time caregiver, but we barely see her. He has a brother and sister who we don't learn much about.
I also had mixed feelings about Shawn’s acceptance of his father’s (possible) murder plan. Realistically, Shawn has no choice but to accept it. He can’t communicate, and he can’t fight. If his father decides to murder him, he’s going to die, but I think that Shawn’s suspicion of the murder plot should have caused more angst.
Stuck in Neutral was first published in 2001 and was a major influence in the teen “problem novel” genre. It won awards and got a lot of people talking. It’s a brave and thought-provoking book. It confronts taboo subjects that make some readers uncomfortable, such as euthanasia and the rights of severely disabled children and their parents. Even though these topics are unpleasant to discuss, they’re important.
This book made me think about how able-bodied people project their feelings onto the severely disabled. I don’t know any severely disabled people in real life, so I’ve never thought about this before. Shawn’s father sees Shawn’s seizures and assumes that they’re painful. He assumes that Shawn’s cerebral palsy prevents him from enjoying life. In reality, Shawn isn’t bothered by his seizures, and he has developed a unique way of connecting to the world. This book shows that you can’t make assumptions about a person. Just because someone is disabled doesn’t mean that he/she is suffering.
This is a quick and powerful read with an exceptional protagonist. I need to find more books like this one.
Okay. Stuck in Neutral is the story of fourteen-year-old Shawn, a boy with cerebral palsy. Shawn has no control over his body. He can’t move or speak. Since he has no way to communicate, he’s trapped inside his own head. Shawn’s father worries that Shawn’s condition is causing him pain that he’s unable to express. As Shawn’s father becomes more obsessed with his son’s possible pain, Shawn starts to wonder if his father is planning on killing him.
The summary makes this book sound intense—and it is—but it’s also surprisingly hilarious. The novel is written in first-person, so the reader gets to hear all of the thoughts that Shawn is unable to say. He’s very blunt about his situation:
“There is one final bad-news punch line to my life. This bad news is complicated, difficult to explain. In a nutshell, it’s that I am pretty sure that my dad is planning to kill me. The good news is that he’d be doing this out of his love for me. The bad news is that whatever the wonderfulness of his motives, I’ll be dead.” – Stuck in Neutral
Shawn’s life is not completely miserable. He acknowledges that his medical problem has some benefits. For example, he gets to see his sister’s friends change clothes at a sleepover because they don’t think he can understand what’s going on. Additionally, his seizures cause a dreamlike, floating feeling that makes him calm and happy. He’s taught himself to enjoy the little things in life.
“Think about it: Why should we care whether what makes us happy is just an electrical impulse in our brain or something funny that we see some fool do on TV? Does it matter what makes you smile? Wouldn't you rather be happy for no reason than unhappy for good reasons?” - Stuck in Neutral
Shawn’s sense of humor and positive attitude help tone down the intensity of the book. I actually had a lot of fun reading it.
My only big criticism is that this novel is very short. My copy is only about 115 pages. I think it could have benefitted from being longer. Shawn doesn’t have an action-packed existence, but I wondered about the other people in his life. Shawn’s mother is his full-time caregiver, but we barely see her. He has a brother and sister who we don't learn much about.
I also had mixed feelings about Shawn’s acceptance of his father’s (possible) murder plan. Realistically, Shawn has no choice but to accept it. He can’t communicate, and he can’t fight. If his father decides to murder him, he’s going to die, but I think that Shawn’s suspicion of the murder plot should have caused more angst.
Stuck in Neutral was first published in 2001 and was a major influence in the teen “problem novel” genre. It won awards and got a lot of people talking. It’s a brave and thought-provoking book. It confronts taboo subjects that make some readers uncomfortable, such as euthanasia and the rights of severely disabled children and their parents. Even though these topics are unpleasant to discuss, they’re important.
This book made me think about how able-bodied people project their feelings onto the severely disabled. I don’t know any severely disabled people in real life, so I’ve never thought about this before. Shawn’s father sees Shawn’s seizures and assumes that they’re painful. He assumes that Shawn’s cerebral palsy prevents him from enjoying life. In reality, Shawn isn’t bothered by his seizures, and he has developed a unique way of connecting to the world. This book shows that you can’t make assumptions about a person. Just because someone is disabled doesn’t mean that he/she is suffering.
This is a quick and powerful read with an exceptional protagonist. I need to find more books like this one.
August 14, 2021
I was forced to read this in my high school curriculum, and it was honestly scarring to hear the adult in the room praising the actions of a dad killing his son. My classmate was a boy who had cerebral palsy and he was so upset he didn't even want to talk about it, in class or in private.
This concept that able-bodied lives are good lives and disabled lives are miserable lives not worth living is a fallacy pushed by ableist fucks. I recently became disabled, and despite my struggles, I want to live, and continue living. I deal with daily pain that the average person could not imagine functioning with. I feel like I was hit with a car on most days, and you know what? I still laugh. I still have fun. I have a life worth living.
I haven't met a disabled person who wants to die because of their disability. What this main character needed was a loving family and loving friends, who don't look down on him or infantilize him. He needed people who don't project their able-bodied ideas onto him of what they think he must be going through, or their ideas of his life being a life not worth living.
And while well I'm aware that some people do choose euthanasia for themselves when they're suffering immensely, it's a smaller number than you would think, and those individuals are usually terminally ill. You can't decide for someone else that they should die, especially if you don't have any ways to communicate with them, and you know they have their own thoughts and feelings. I've known people with cerebral palsy. It's not the same thing as terminal cancer.
He also needed better care, there ARE systems to help non-verbal disabled individuals with communication. I've even seen a man communicate by pointing his eyes at the words he wants to speak on a portable board his wife holds up to talk to him. Does he struggle? Yeah! But his life isn't miserable. He has a loving wife and loving buddies who help him work out at the gym, since fitness is his passion. His life would only be miserable if his support system pitied him and made him feel bad about his situation, and told him his life wasn't worth living. Do you see a pattern yet?
The fact that people would defend this book is just proof that ableism is alive and well. We need to kill ableism, not disabled people who need support and love. Disabled people need proper medical care and assistance, and to be seen as equals. We are not sob stories for your ableist inspiration porn.
From what I remember, this book also has some rape culture esque moments, and sexualization of underage girls written by a grown ass man. A grown ass man projecting a creepy, horny fantasy onto a character that is based on his own child. This book made me uncomfortable in every way possible.
This concept that able-bodied lives are good lives and disabled lives are miserable lives not worth living is a fallacy pushed by ableist fucks. I recently became disabled, and despite my struggles, I want to live, and continue living. I deal with daily pain that the average person could not imagine functioning with. I feel like I was hit with a car on most days, and you know what? I still laugh. I still have fun. I have a life worth living.
I haven't met a disabled person who wants to die because of their disability. What this main character needed was a loving family and loving friends, who don't look down on him or infantilize him. He needed people who don't project their able-bodied ideas onto him of what they think he must be going through, or their ideas of his life being a life not worth living.
And while well I'm aware that some people do choose euthanasia for themselves when they're suffering immensely, it's a smaller number than you would think, and those individuals are usually terminally ill. You can't decide for someone else that they should die, especially if you don't have any ways to communicate with them, and you know they have their own thoughts and feelings. I've known people with cerebral palsy. It's not the same thing as terminal cancer.
He also needed better care, there ARE systems to help non-verbal disabled individuals with communication. I've even seen a man communicate by pointing his eyes at the words he wants to speak on a portable board his wife holds up to talk to him. Does he struggle? Yeah! But his life isn't miserable. He has a loving wife and loving buddies who help him work out at the gym, since fitness is his passion. His life would only be miserable if his support system pitied him and made him feel bad about his situation, and told him his life wasn't worth living. Do you see a pattern yet?
The fact that people would defend this book is just proof that ableism is alive and well. We need to kill ableism, not disabled people who need support and love. Disabled people need proper medical care and assistance, and to be seen as equals. We are not sob stories for your ableist inspiration porn.
From what I remember, this book also has some rape culture esque moments, and sexualization of underage girls written by a grown ass man. A grown ass man projecting a creepy, horny fantasy onto a character that is based on his own child. This book made me uncomfortable in every way possible.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 4, 2009
Stuck in neutral is a short but moving book. although this book might not be the hardest or the longest the meaning of this book is very strong. this book can be read by adults, teenagers and children. this book is for all ages becuase it shows us the importance of life to a person that you may think is useless.
the book is about a young boy named Shawn who has cerebral palsy. although many people think that he can't do anything or think for himself they are wrong. Shawn is actually a very smart boy but because of his condition many people don't see it. His father loves him a lot. His father doesn't like to see shawn this way and many times he thinks about killing him but never does. Shawn knows that his father wants to kill him but can't do anything about it. on the last page of the book we have shawn and his father alone and in the fathers hand there is a pillow. it osn't clear wether the father kills shawn or if he doesn't.
i liked this book becuase it made me care more about people that have this condition. many people may think that just becuase they suffer of this condition they aren't the same as us. It made me see that although they might not act or look the same these people are still humans and have the same feelings and may have more emotions than we do. so for all you readers if you want to read something short read Stuck in Neutral becuase it will leave you a valuable lesson in life to appriciate what you have and me kind to others.
the book is about a young boy named Shawn who has cerebral palsy. although many people think that he can't do anything or think for himself they are wrong. Shawn is actually a very smart boy but because of his condition many people don't see it. His father loves him a lot. His father doesn't like to see shawn this way and many times he thinks about killing him but never does. Shawn knows that his father wants to kill him but can't do anything about it. on the last page of the book we have shawn and his father alone and in the fathers hand there is a pillow. it osn't clear wether the father kills shawn or if he doesn't.
i liked this book becuase it made me care more about people that have this condition. many people may think that just becuase they suffer of this condition they aren't the same as us. It made me see that although they might not act or look the same these people are still humans and have the same feelings and may have more emotions than we do. so for all you readers if you want to read something short read Stuck in Neutral becuase it will leave you a valuable lesson in life to appriciate what you have and me kind to others.
February 15, 2018
I thought this book was amazing when I first read it, and am so utterly horrified at myself now.
February 1, 2021
Disgustingly ableist. I'm literally sickened that anyone thought this was acceptable to read or write.
October 26, 2020
ok i am bothered by this book. i don’t actually remember the reason why i wanted to read it..
i thought long and hard about this book, and obviously the rating drastically dropped to a one star because i have so many problems with this story. first of all, was this supposed to be a controversial book with a topic that is open for debate? because i dont think so. it’s just shit. the father had no right killing him. it’s still murder. beside the fact that we know the kid was happy and didn’t want to die, you absolutely have no right to “end someone’s misery” because simply you don’t know. you’re not god to decide. im actually more furious because the father actually more exploited him than took care of him... he fucking left them???? and then he has the nerve to come back and kill him because he cannot bare to see him suffer. bro get the FUCK out. what is this shit? i want my two hours back.
i thought long and hard about this book, and obviously the rating drastically dropped to a one star because i have so many problems with this story. first of all, was this supposed to be a controversial book with a topic that is open for debate? because i dont think so. it’s just shit. the father had no right killing him. it’s still murder. beside the fact that we know the kid was happy and didn’t want to die, you absolutely have no right to “end someone’s misery” because simply you don’t know. you’re not god to decide. im actually more furious because the father actually more exploited him than took care of him... he fucking left them???? and then he has the nerve to come back and kill him because he cannot bare to see him suffer. bro get the FUCK out. what is this shit? i want my two hours back.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2008
Stuck in Neutral takes an uncomfortable subject and tries to shed some light on what might be happening. It is about a boy who is so severely retarded that all he seems to be able to do is have seizures. And yet he loves his seizures because they are his chance to get out of his body and visit other places. He also is upset with his father for winning an award for writing about dealing with a severely retarded son, yet not really wanting to have the son. It allowed me to see life from a very different perspective.
August 14, 2008
A fantastic book that really makes you think! Shawn has cerebral palsy and can't communicate with anyone. Told from his viewpoint, the reader learns about Shawn's feelings, dreams, and also his fear that his father wants to kill him. I couldn't put it down and read it in one sitting. I will be recommending this one to any and all.
February 26, 2021
If not for the fact that the copy I read was a library book I would absolutely burn it in a fire bc I'm disgusted by how horrifically ableist it is
September 1, 2016
This book definitely makes you think. It's for young adults, yes, but I imagine adults will be able to connect to the father in entirely different ways than teenagers can. I've used this novel for book clubs before and it always sparks strong discussion. The topic (an intelligent child trapped in his own body, unable to communicate with the world, and a father who wonders if his son might not be better off dead) is surely controversial enough to cause a room full of readers to voice their opinions. Its short length--only around 100 pages--is appealing to reluctant readers too.
September 6, 2007
This book can have a profound impact on you if you have any emotional connection to someone with a disability. I really liked the first person narration from a teenage boy whose disability has left him mute and with no way to communicate with anyone or anything. The ending of this book can be highly emotional and due to the "possible" outcome of the end I would reccommend a dialogue and discussion if teenagers are reading it.
February 19, 2023
I will be withholding a review until the Harper Collins union receives a fair contract.
But wowie will I have some things to say on this one.
UPDATE: I can finally review this! Let's do it.
2.5 stars.
Stuck In Neutral is the story of a teenage boy named Shawn who has cerebral palsy and figures out that his father wants to end his life as an act of compassion.
Shawn was born with cerebral palsy and has no control over the muscles in his body -- he can't even control the focus of his eyes and swallowing. Because of this, he is unable to communicate to the the world and his caregivers that he has a rich inner world and understands everything going on around him. His mom, dad, and teachers are unsure of whether or not he understands things, but they have been assure by doctors that it is unlikely. Shawn is very perceptive, emotionally intelligent, and has a very good memory, so he has learned a lot of about the world from hearing conversations, TV, and even reading. So he very quickly picks up on the fact that he's pretty sure his father is wrestling with the idea of ending Shawn's life as a sort of mercy killing to end Shawn's "suffering."
Though Shawn's mother is Shawn's primary caregiver, Shawn's father is the focus of the story outside of Shawn. Shawn's dad is Sydney E. McDaniel, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of a poem about his struggles with his son's disability...who also left Shawn and his mother because he couldn't handle the stress. He's around occasionally, but has been around more lately because of an investigative book he is writing about the highly public case of Earl Detraux, a father who is in jail for killing his two-year-old son to "do what he had to do" to "end his son's suffering" from a "terrible, terminal, inoperable seizure disorder, and irreversible medical condition, couple with profound mental retardation that made his existence insufferable." Sydney defends Earl's act as one of deep love, compassion, and personal sacrifice on behalf of his child. But Shawn can see the gears turning in Sydney's head and knows that Sydney is planning to do the same to him.
This is a very short book that packs a LOT of punch. There are a lot of difficult and triggering scenes, from the death of a dog to acts of violence against Shawn, in addition to examinations of the ableism and challenges Shawn faces. In researching this book, it does seem like it has made an impact on many readers in challenging to think about disability, ableism, and the humanity of people who may not be able to speak for themselves. There are a lot of positive reviews out there for this book. And, of course, it won a Printz honor in 2001 -- that's why I am reading and reviewing it.
HOWEVER, most of these reviews and positive accolades come from people outside of the disabled community. And let it be known that I also fall into this camp. But this book just didn't sit right with me -- it's literally about giving us empathy for why a father would want to end his son's life. So when I sought some perspectives from the Disability Studies community, I found the criticisms that seemed to echo some of my own concerns about this story.
I think it was a strange choices for Terry Trueman to write this book, considering the he himself is the father of a son with cerebral palsy. Thought he says in the end notes that he has not contemplated killing his son, it is clear that the real purpose of this book is to work out his own feelings and experiences (and struggles) being a father to his son. So the fact that he chose to write a YA book from the perspective of his son feels like an artificial way for Trueman to give himself forgiveness for feelings he's had. He's literally making up his own dialogue with his child in a way that feels far too speculative, even for fiction.
Trueman is trying really hard to advocate for people with disabilities here and change perspectives, and I do think he is somewhat successful at that. He uses the R-word a lot throughout this story and Shawn goes into a discussion of how and why he uses that word. And Trueman shows things like Shawn's experiences at school, with his family at home, with respite caregivers and with the narratives that people have about it.
I think Trueman gives Shawn a voice and helps him been seen. But the problem here is that this isn't actually Shawn's voice. The Shawn in this story is rational, compassionate, and understanding of his father's potential choices as an act of deep love. But it feels icky to read that rationalization coming from a fictional boy talking about his fictional father written by a real father for his own selfish purposes.
In short, I don't think this book would be published in 2023. It certainly speaks to a specific moment in YA literature -- a moment when the only way we saw "representation" of some marginalized voices was through stories written by the parents, siblings, children, teachers, and friends of individuals with those experiences, but rarely from those people themselves. That was a stepping stone, but in 2023 I expect more. So I'm glad I read this book as a cultural artifact and it was certainly thought-provoking (though I don't think it was particularly well-written...just shocking and "innovative" for the era). But I wouldn't recommend this book in the modern day.
Note: I'm on the fence about my own 2.5 star review. I am not one to shoot a book down to 1 stars just because of problematic representation -- there are other elements that contribute to storytelling that I'm also looking at here, too.
But wowie will I have some things to say on this one.
UPDATE: I can finally review this! Let's do it.
2.5 stars.
Stuck In Neutral is the story of a teenage boy named Shawn who has cerebral palsy and figures out that his father wants to end his life as an act of compassion.
Shawn was born with cerebral palsy and has no control over the muscles in his body -- he can't even control the focus of his eyes and swallowing. Because of this, he is unable to communicate to the the world and his caregivers that he has a rich inner world and understands everything going on around him. His mom, dad, and teachers are unsure of whether or not he understands things, but they have been assure by doctors that it is unlikely. Shawn is very perceptive, emotionally intelligent, and has a very good memory, so he has learned a lot of about the world from hearing conversations, TV, and even reading. So he very quickly picks up on the fact that he's pretty sure his father is wrestling with the idea of ending Shawn's life as a sort of mercy killing to end Shawn's "suffering."
Though Shawn's mother is Shawn's primary caregiver, Shawn's father is the focus of the story outside of Shawn. Shawn's dad is Sydney E. McDaniel, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of a poem about his struggles with his son's disability...who also left Shawn and his mother because he couldn't handle the stress. He's around occasionally, but has been around more lately because of an investigative book he is writing about the highly public case of Earl Detraux, a father who is in jail for killing his two-year-old son to "do what he had to do" to "end his son's suffering" from a "terrible, terminal, inoperable seizure disorder, and irreversible medical condition, couple with profound mental retardation that made his existence insufferable." Sydney defends Earl's act as one of deep love, compassion, and personal sacrifice on behalf of his child. But Shawn can see the gears turning in Sydney's head and knows that Sydney is planning to do the same to him.
This is a very short book that packs a LOT of punch. There are a lot of difficult and triggering scenes, from the death of a dog to acts of violence against Shawn, in addition to examinations of the ableism and challenges Shawn faces. In researching this book, it does seem like it has made an impact on many readers in challenging to think about disability, ableism, and the humanity of people who may not be able to speak for themselves. There are a lot of positive reviews out there for this book. And, of course, it won a Printz honor in 2001 -- that's why I am reading and reviewing it.
HOWEVER, most of these reviews and positive accolades come from people outside of the disabled community. And let it be known that I also fall into this camp. But this book just didn't sit right with me -- it's literally about giving us empathy for why a father would want to end his son's life. So when I sought some perspectives from the Disability Studies community, I found the criticisms that seemed to echo some of my own concerns about this story.
I think it was a strange choices for Terry Trueman to write this book, considering the he himself is the father of a son with cerebral palsy. Thought he says in the end notes that he has not contemplated killing his son, it is clear that the real purpose of this book is to work out his own feelings and experiences (and struggles) being a father to his son. So the fact that he chose to write a YA book from the perspective of his son feels like an artificial way for Trueman to give himself forgiveness for feelings he's had. He's literally making up his own dialogue with his child in a way that feels far too speculative, even for fiction.
Trueman is trying really hard to advocate for people with disabilities here and change perspectives, and I do think he is somewhat successful at that. He uses the R-word a lot throughout this story and Shawn goes into a discussion of how and why he uses that word. And Trueman shows things like Shawn's experiences at school, with his family at home, with respite caregivers and with the narratives that people have about it.
I think Trueman gives Shawn a voice and helps him been seen. But the problem here is that this isn't actually Shawn's voice. The Shawn in this story is rational, compassionate, and understanding of his father's potential choices as an act of deep love. But it feels icky to read that rationalization coming from a fictional boy talking about his fictional father written by a real father for his own selfish purposes.
In short, I don't think this book would be published in 2023. It certainly speaks to a specific moment in YA literature -- a moment when the only way we saw "representation" of some marginalized voices was through stories written by the parents, siblings, children, teachers, and friends of individuals with those experiences, but rarely from those people themselves. That was a stepping stone, but in 2023 I expect more. So I'm glad I read this book as a cultural artifact and it was certainly thought-provoking (though I don't think it was particularly well-written...just shocking and "innovative" for the era). But I wouldn't recommend this book in the modern day.
Note: I'm on the fence about my own 2.5 star review. I am not one to shoot a book down to 1 stars just because of problematic representation -- there are other elements that contribute to storytelling that I'm also looking at here, too.
February 1, 2024
Shawn McDaniel is a boy with cerebral palsy who experience issues that affect his movements while living with his family. Shawn’s mother and sisters live with his condition while taking take of him the best they can while his father begins to act strangely towards him, causing Shawn to believe that he might be trying to kill him.
“SIN” is a very surreal and deep story of someone living with a condition. Despite its horror-like cover, Shawn’s story has a strangely calm tone with a few humorous moments with the last handful of chapters feeling more emotional. A story that also show how parents will do anything to help their children. B+ (83%/Very Good)
“SIN” is a very surreal and deep story of someone living with a condition. Despite its horror-like cover, Shawn’s story has a strangely calm tone with a few humorous moments with the last handful of chapters feeling more emotional. A story that also show how parents will do anything to help their children. B+ (83%/Very Good)
September 4, 2023
A truly heartbreaking and eye opening story about a boy with cerebral palsy. The story follows his life and thoughts as he fears his father is going to kill him. It’s a harsh reminder for those who need it that just because you have a disability, it doesn’t mean you aren’t comprehending the world around you
August 13, 2020
3.5 stars. A fast paced and easy read that taught me more about the importance of perspectives and thinking/speaking for others. I would recommend this book to others more for the conversation that would spark based on the concepts of the book as opposed to the storyline.
February 23, 2020
From the off color jokes and borderline sexist and ableist content to the frightening tones that the author might literally want to kill his disabled son I was uncomfortable with almost every minute of reading this book. There were so many parts that felt wrong and disgusting that I don't even want to talk about them. What I will talk about is some of the things I did enjoy about this book. I loved that Shawn had great memories with his family and that we as readers were able to experience some of them with him. I do wish that the author had included more day-to-day experiences with Shawns siblings and parents, other than his mom feeding him or his brother sneaking him food. I appreciated the one off important memories like his dad holding him in the VR simulator and his brother beating up those dudes, but not enough was said to really make them impactful.
For the most part, if I ignore some of the seriously concerning parts of the book, it's biggest flaw was that it wasn't enough. The book is only 100 pages, so there wasn't enough space to include indepth discussions about everything it's trying to cover, but I do wish the focus would have been on something more than just a big argument on whether it's ok to kill your son.
I do think that is this book were rewritten by someone who actually focused on the details and intricacies of living with and taking care of someone like Shawn it could have been great. I liked the story from Shawn's point of view, but it does create ambiguity over what is actually realistic and what isn't. I think this is a very difficult and touchy story to write at the best of times, and this was just an example of how things can go poorly even when the author is as authentic as they are.
Overall, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, though I would love to read more books that cover similar topics to find something that does what this book tries but in a more successful and appropriate way.
For the most part, if I ignore some of the seriously concerning parts of the book, it's biggest flaw was that it wasn't enough. The book is only 100 pages, so there wasn't enough space to include indepth discussions about everything it's trying to cover, but I do wish the focus would have been on something more than just a big argument on whether it's ok to kill your son.
I do think that is this book were rewritten by someone who actually focused on the details and intricacies of living with and taking care of someone like Shawn it could have been great. I liked the story from Shawn's point of view, but it does create ambiguity over what is actually realistic and what isn't. I think this is a very difficult and touchy story to write at the best of times, and this was just an example of how things can go poorly even when the author is as authentic as they are.
Overall, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, though I would love to read more books that cover similar topics to find something that does what this book tries but in a more successful and appropriate way.
January 2, 2013
My Name is Shawn McDaniel.
I'm 14 years old.
I think my father is planning to kill me.
In a phenomenally personal story Terry Trueman takes us into the mind of a profoundly, developmentally disabled cerebral palsy sufferer who's also a quirky, insightful, vibrantly alive 14 year old. However this kid is pretty much input only. Who can tell what goes on in the mind of a child who cannot even control his own eye blinks?
While the protagonist in this story is unable to communicate with anyone in his world , this book gives us an inner monologue that shows us a unique individual who's glad to be alive and who is relishing each and every new life experience with the wonder of a child (and sometimes that of a horny kid). This kid's inner monologue connects with the reader on a level that books seldom do. Written by the father of just such a boy, this book may even afflict the reader a bit too, only the body parts that the sympathetic reader will be unable to control are the tear ducts. And yet for the most part this is NOT a sad, maudlin, tear-jerker of a book.
One really needs to read this oneself to experience the full effect but even the visceral dread that one experiences as the kid describes his fear that his father may end his life in order to spare him continued suffering is only accentuated by the feel of having so few pages remaining unread in the book.
I've rated Terry Trueman's other book Inside Out as being an unsung work of genius, this, his first book, is perhaps even better. If you ever wanted to really fulfill that old adage about understanding someone by walking a mile in his moccasins, pick up one of these books.
I'm 14 years old.
I think my father is planning to kill me.
In a phenomenally personal story Terry Trueman takes us into the mind of a profoundly, developmentally disabled cerebral palsy sufferer who's also a quirky, insightful, vibrantly alive 14 year old. However this kid is pretty much input only. Who can tell what goes on in the mind of a child who cannot even control his own eye blinks?
While the protagonist in this story is unable to communicate with anyone in his world , this book gives us an inner monologue that shows us a unique individual who's glad to be alive and who is relishing each and every new life experience with the wonder of a child (and sometimes that of a horny kid). This kid's inner monologue connects with the reader on a level that books seldom do. Written by the father of just such a boy, this book may even afflict the reader a bit too, only the body parts that the sympathetic reader will be unable to control are the tear ducts. And yet for the most part this is NOT a sad, maudlin, tear-jerker of a book.
One really needs to read this oneself to experience the full effect but even the visceral dread that one experiences as the kid describes his fear that his father may end his life in order to spare him continued suffering is only accentuated by the feel of having so few pages remaining unread in the book.
I've rated Terry Trueman's other book Inside Out as being an unsung work of genius, this, his first book, is perhaps even better. If you ever wanted to really fulfill that old adage about understanding someone by walking a mile in his moccasins, pick up one of these books.
April 21, 2013
Stuck in neutral by Terry Trueman is about a 14 year old boy that can't move any part of his body. His father loves him but wants to kill him because he thinks that his son that can't move is suffering and in pain but he can't show it. What his dad doesn't know is that he is not suffering. His life isn't the greatest life in the world but he still likes his life. His senses are dead but he's has another side that no one knows about, it is his spirit side. In this side he sees the world in another way, he enjoys it very much. In the book Shawn Mcdaniel's learns that his dad may not show it but he loves him.
I would not recommend this book to anyone. One reason is that this book is not appropriately for young adults. Second reason is that I didn't like the ending at all we never find out what happens to him. Third reason is that I don't like how the book starts because it starts with telling you about how he feels about what he is and you don't get to the good part for 30 more pages. Last reason is that the book was to short it should of had more pages and included more things. I really didn't like this book you should never ever read this book please.
I would not recommend this book to anyone. One reason is that this book is not appropriately for young adults. Second reason is that I didn't like the ending at all we never find out what happens to him. Third reason is that I don't like how the book starts because it starts with telling you about how he feels about what he is and you don't get to the good part for 30 more pages. Last reason is that the book was to short it should of had more pages and included more things. I really didn't like this book you should never ever read this book please.
September 17, 2019
People, especially children, really are murdered by those supposed to care for them. For more information on the Disability Day of Mourning, please visit https://disability-memorial.org
(groans in frustration) This book was super dark and edgy to me when I was ten and read it the first time. I was so freaked out and didn't speak to my dad for days. Twenty years and a really good physical therapist and a major advocate in my mom, later, people act really surprised when I finally tell them I have the same thing Shawn does, only much milder. I walk unassisted, and hear, see, speak and sing clearly. Still, I was delighted to read a fiction book with someone who knew how to spell my medical condition correctly. So, twenty years later, I reread this as an e-book. The author and people who like this desperately need to start following disabled people on Twitter. They might learn that we're people, and deserve to be here. This book is ableist trash told in an incredibly boring and cliche way, and I shivered a little when I read that the able-bodied author has a son with palsy. I hope the kid is okay.
(groans in frustration) This book was super dark and edgy to me when I was ten and read it the first time. I was so freaked out and didn't speak to my dad for days. Twenty years and a really good physical therapist and a major advocate in my mom, later, people act really surprised when I finally tell them I have the same thing Shawn does, only much milder. I walk unassisted, and hear, see, speak and sing clearly. Still, I was delighted to read a fiction book with someone who knew how to spell my medical condition correctly. So, twenty years later, I reread this as an e-book. The author and people who like this desperately need to start following disabled people on Twitter. They might learn that we're people, and deserve to be here. This book is ableist trash told in an incredibly boring and cliche way, and I shivered a little when I read that the able-bodied author has a son with palsy. I hope the kid is okay.
June 27, 2017
Disturbing and sad at the end. I guess I was viewing it through the lens of "Out of my Mind" by Sharon Draper and instead of a feel good book, I was shocked into an all together different tone. The protagonist, Shawn is locked into a silent world of Cerebral Palsy and has no way to communicate with anyone. he can't control his muscles nor can he talk or gesture in any way. I was frustrated by the fact there was no attempt by any of the characters to communicate with him. Really? I just feel this was a big hole in the story and detracted from it. His dad was thinking about killing Shawn out of a profound Love for him. Shawn like Melody in Out of My Mind was brilliant and he loved his life. He was a realist and matter of factly related his day to day existence and his out of body experiences when he had seizures. I don't know, I think the author missed a home run with this one.
September 19, 2018
Shawn is trapped within his own body. As a severely disabled teen who is unable to communicate in any way, most people assume that Shawn is an idiot incapable of learning; yet this is far from the truth. Shawn remembers everything that anyone has ever said to or around him. And now he is beginning to fear that his father is planning to kill him.
This was truly an interesting look into what might be the life of someone like Shawn. It is easy to assume that we know or understand someone simply because of their ability (or inability) to communicate with us. Who knows how many incredibly intelligent people are trapped behind disability.
This is one of the books that will be discussed is the book group I am running for the American Library Associations Great Stories Club with the theme Empathy: The Cost of Switching Sides.
This was truly an interesting look into what might be the life of someone like Shawn. It is easy to assume that we know or understand someone simply because of their ability (or inability) to communicate with us. Who knows how many incredibly intelligent people are trapped behind disability.
This is one of the books that will be discussed is the book group I am running for the American Library Associations Great Stories Club with the theme Empathy: The Cost of Switching Sides.
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