Amazing story. David Goggins shares his story of a personal transformation that is very powerful ( providing you can get beyond the many cursings he has to offer.) This man stumbled upon the very powerful laws of success, and used it to change his life and destiny within this world. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia with delusions of grandeur, and for 7 years I was in and out hospitals: medicated, electroshocked and had no lasting improvement. The doctor later deemed me affected with "treatment resistant schizophrenia," and recommended my mom transfer me to a long-term care facility (she became my legal guardian as I was deemed a danger to myself.)
This took a turn for the worse and I almost offed myself after realizing the "reality" I believed and lived in for 7 years was a lie. The shock broke me, and my whole being called for death shortly after. But there in the process of committing my final act within this world, lighting struck and I came to myself. I saw this as the act of a coward, because I feared living in this world, hated and laughed at by everyone and everything. "Am I going to let them bully me to end myself? Not a chance. If they want me to go then let them do it with their own two hands. I will no longer run nor hide away in isolation." From that moment on I chose to take back my life from schizophrenia. I faced down every giant it sent to crush me with an unshakable resolve: the giant of extreme anxiety, the giants of fear, paranoia, delusion, the giant of intrusive and blasphemous thoughts, the giants of hallucinations (auditoy and visual,) the giants of insecurity, hate, resentment, persecutory delusions (the world was in me and every where I went people would reaď my mind commenting on my thoughts mostly laughing at the torment i was experiencing,) giant of distrust, the giant of loneliness (there was not a person in the world who i felt I could talk with and pain of that loneliness was unbearable.) I hid away in my room because it was "safe," but in this form of safety there was no freedom, there couldn't be any. But where the "pain" was, in the middle of that fire, the last place I wanted to be, was exactly where I needed to be: I had to willingly choose to make myself uncomfortable. Everyday from that moment of revelation, I left my room and talked with my mother and sisters, whom I thought were witches trying to kill me through witchcraft. I no longer waited for them to come into my room and greet me, instead when they got home, I went out and greeted them. I didn't do it because I felt like it, I did it because I didn't feel like it. I hated them for what I thought they did to me, and because I hated them I chose to embrace them. One inch at a time, one day at a time, I was able to move forward until today, I'm 100% free from all schizophrenia symptoms. I've been off meds for nearly 15 years now. I became an electrician and even passed my red seal and have been working full time in the trade. I just had my one year anniversary that I celebrated with a nurse that I married.
A co-worker loan me "Can't hurt me" because my story of recovering from schizophrenia, more specifically, how I did it reminded him of Goggins own mentality to get beyond his own insecurities, etc. I’ve never even heard the name Goggins until that point. But reading his story resonated with me because I too lived with that defeated self. I too held that "woe is me" victim mentality. I'd ask myself, "why me? What did I do to deserve this?" And I still suffered nonetheless. But when I shifted the question to, "WHY NOT ME?!" Again, the heavens opened up and a light came shining down touching my soul deep within (metaphorically speaking of course:) THAT'S THE QUESTION! It hit me so hard. For so long I couldn't see it. Why not me? Why do I deserve to be excluded from suffering? Babies are born into the world with all sorts of sickness and diseases and suffering, and here I'm crying, why me? I felt so ashamed I could barely lift my head. Nevertheless, this energized me to take on the entire world, and I did, and I won. I managed to accomplish what the doctors said to be impossible for someone who had schizophrenia as entrenched as i did: I overcame schizophrenia.
Reading this book made me realize why my co-worker asked me about Goggins. Many times it was as if I was hearing myself talk, word for word. It was incredible. It's a great book for the person who's tired to living defeated, whose back is against the wall and you've no way out. Within your darkest hour also lays your moment of opportunity to turn the tides of your struggle. Goggins tells us his story. I just shared a part of mine, and you've got your own to write with your life as you face down each obstacle trying to drag you under, and put them under your feet. It's our story, we determine the how it's told.
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